Bedtime Poll

[unimaginative1979]

Just a question.

Today I met a women at a parenting class- very sleep deprived. She was asking people in the class about getting sleep. She won't put DS to bed before 9pm as DP returns home from work late. She also won't sleep herself if it means missing weekday time with DP.

Luckily my DP is home before a suitable bedtime hour. In my head if I was her I would sod DP and get DS and myself some sleep.

What's the ' done thing'?

Do you put DC to bed at sensible times or do you keep them up for Daddy time?

DS goes to bed at 7 no matter when daddy gets home. Ok I might keep him up to 7.10 latest if I know dh is going to make it. But no, it's tough. DS needs to sleep.

I also won't stay up waiting for him if it's going to be a late one.

Sleep is important!!

How old is her DS?

I didn't put babies into their cots/cribs till we went to bed when they were small - probably till about 4 or 5 months. Too much feeding to be done still. Any older than that and I'd put them in at a regular time (usually around 7pm) every night if we were home.

My kids need their sleep. They go to bed at 7 even though daddy's not home till 8 often.

Obviously small babies are more versatile and flexible

We both have 6 month old. Different situations, I've always done a bedtime, they don't.

What was the issue is she was complaining about how the sleep deprivation and how it's contributed to a not so fun time. When given two suggestion they were batted off with the two excuses.

I just wondered, would you always keep DC up to see DP??

Like I said it's different for me, my DP gets home at 6, DS is in bed for 7. So I can't really compare.

At 6 months I wouldn't always keep them up. Only if DH had been away or similar. I think from around then they need more sleep and more of a regular routine.

Maybe the lack of sleep is preventing her from thinking properly.

At 6mo, DD was going to bed at about 7-8pm, whether or not DH was there - although TBF he usually was. We organised her daytime naps so it worked as a bedtime, then she'd have a dream feed when I went up (around 11), then we'd both sleep until around 3-4ish, then again until around 8am. I would nap during the day with her, and DH and I would TRY and get some adult time together in the window before we went up to bed while she was asleep.

Newborn I wouldn't try to put them to bed at all, as ime it doesn't work. But once the baby will go in a cot and sleep I would start the process around 6.00 and have them tucked up straight after bath and milk. Daddy can have the joy of the night wakings if he's that desperate to see baby

Even now, the days I am at work I often don't see my 4yo awake, I'm out from 7.30am to about 7.30pm, and she needs 11-12 hours sleep.

9pm is Normal here. We aren't home until 7pm ish. They have gone to bed 9pm, woken 8-9am for a few years now. I don't see how 11-12hrs sleep is deprived

At 6months old mine didn't go to bed before us. They would fall asleep in living room whenever and we took to bed with us when we went.

Before 6months they should always sleep in the same room as you anyway. So presumable your friend has been doing this. Have you been putting baby to sleep alone at 7pm in a different room?

Also babies are babies, they can sleep anytime, anywhere. At 6months Dh and I would go out a few evenings a week with baby as they just came alone and slept or past around or joined wherever. They can nap all day

Yes my DS is in his own room from 5 months but before I put him to bed same time next door or sometimes went to bed at 7 myself.

I disagree they sleep anywhere, 5 month plus they are far more alert not like a newborn. DS is a wiggly shouty baby who will not just doze off on my shoulder. He needs to be put down in his cot and all tucked in. It's worked for us, never had an issue being put down and has slept through since 10 weeks.

Suppose it depends on families. Ours have always slept anywhere. We travel a lot so they have had to as always in diffenent places and environments.

Eldest is now 6. Both still sleep anywhere. We would have found life very restrictive if they always had to sleep in a cot.

Can I ask what else do they sleep in? We do go elsewhere but we use a travel cot or pram - DS will sleep in them.

Also, your child is only 6 months old. Sleep habits and patterns can change a lot in the next 5 years. 7pm bedtime might be nice for some, but if that means waking up at 6am the next 10 years that's surely worse than a child who goes to bed at 9pm, and wakes 8-9am?

Ours slept out on our laps, on blanket on floor, on bench in restaurant, sling etc. When we travel they just share our bed.

I'd be fairly happy for my DS 9 months to go to bed at 9pm and wake at 8/9am! Unfortunately it doesn't work like that for him and he's awake at 6/6.30 anyway. Just then overtired

I almost always put DS to bed before DH gets home. He sees him for an hour on a morning before he goes to work though, so that makes up for it. Keeping DS up past his bedtime results in a bad nights sleep for him and me. Not worth it in my opinion as its me that has to deal with him.

It completely depends on family life I think and each situation and people's preferences are different.
My 4 & almost 2yrold now go to bed7-7.30 and get up 6.30-7.00. This is ideal for us; I leave for work at 7.15 and DH at 7.45. And even though at weekends we would love an 8/9am wake-up it just wouldn't work for us at all for the other 4 days a week!
If your friend is struggling to find enough time for sleep for both her and her LO she probably does need to do some adjusting and make some sacrifices but I would reassure her it will be temporary... At only 6 months it will still probably be changeable. I think at that age mine probably had bedtime later and more daytime sleep, we kept adjusting as it changed to try to keep to a fully rested, happy wake-up time for everyone. (Rose tinted glasses/wishful thinking before baby no 3 arrives in a couple of weeks.)