how do you spread your time evenly with two or more young DC?

[UptownFunk00]

Just that really.

If you have a child newborn to 4ish how do you spread your time evenly between the children?

I have a nearly 3 year old DD and 7 week old DD who is EBF and I never get time alone or really at all with eldest DD.

My Mum reckons she thinks I don't love her as much and that breaks my heart.

So what did/do you do?

If at all possible, I do bedtime with the eldest. Also go to the park with the youngest sleeping in the pram, so the eldest can play and I talk to her as I rock the pram (my children don't sleep in a cot or stationary pram, oh no bitter). It got massively easier when the baby got to three months, so feeds are spaced out and she's happier to watch me play with the eldest/being handed over to DH . Hang in there!

I think your mum is being very harsh. I seriously doubt your DD feels like you don't love her as much

I don't think you need to feel guilty about the changes your DD is having to cope with. Your little gang of two is now a little gang of three - celebrate that rather than trying to find time to create a reality that doesn't exist any more.

For what it's worth, my children have never had any significant 'alone time' with me. My first two were twins and number three was, well, number three. For various reasons, either my DH or I tend to have all three children or none at all, so it is rare that any of the children get time without the others. When we do snatch an hour or two (maybe twice a year with each child!) it is nice, but in general they all seem to feel loved and don't ask for time without the others. In fact when they were younger, maybe under 4 years, the twins would always ask where the other one was and seem distracted until we were together again.

Seriously, don't sweat it. Your DD will adjust if you expand the group to three and keep cuddling/laughing/talking to her. She knows you love her just as much as before :)