Talk to me about a 3.5 year age gap

[milkyman]

Have a 3.5 ds, dd due in two weeks and I am panicking! Can't imagine dealing with two, although ds currently lovely and more patient. He is in nursery for 2.5 days. Anyone give me reassurance?!

Don't panic! It will be fine, I promise. We had a similar gap, give or take a couple of months and it was much easier than I thought it would be.

I was the same as you, panicked and wondering how I would cope but it was fine-in fact, it's almost harder now that DS2 is a 16 month old toddler who's climbing and trashing everything in sight.

I got DD1 involved a lot of the time, getting her to pass me wipes etc. It helped that she was toilet trained and could dress/feed herself etc, felt like less work that way. It all passed in a busy blur but DS slotted in nicely and just sat in the corner at the groups/meet-up's etc that we were already going to.

I also felt more confident with a lot of things, which didn't kick in until he was born, but I trusted my judgement a bit more and wasn't swayed by well meaning comments-I knew if he was grizzling because he was tired as opposed to hungry etc, so hopefully it will all come flooding back for you too. Good luck!

All will be fine. Ds was 2.9 when dd was born. First few weeks takes some adjusting to, particularly when they both need something at the same time. One of the best pieces of advice I was given was to not always tend to the baby first. Sometimes you can sort the older one out quickly before seeing to baby.

Fast forward 5 and a half years. My dc are playing "giddy up horsey" before bed. Happy days.

Dd was 3y and 10m when ds arrived. She was marvellous! Dh brought her to the hospital to visit then he took her home and I stayed in the night. All our friends and family made a bigger deal out of her becoming a big sister than welcoming a new baby which was spot on.

She helped push the pram, fetched nappies and would sing to him when he cried.

The most challenging age has been the last 5/6 months (he is now 18mo and dd 4y4m) but we are emerging out the other side - him too mobile for her to play her games on the floor, one big nap that cuts into the day, etc. But she is at preschool now every afternoon 12.30-3.30, which helps.

They are easiest when the are 1- in the car (she sings and dances for him) or 2 - out and about which we do a lot.

Good thing is we can still go to a smaller softplay which suits both ages and when we go to the big playpark I can watch ds crawl around without having to help dd or watch she doesnt fall off.