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Sick of people commenting on ds ginger hair

126 replies

woodpops · 25/05/2004 21:55

I am sick to death of total strangers coming up to me and commenting on my sons ginger hair. Especially if dh (who's also ginger) isn't with me. THey're always asking where the ginger comes from ................ like it's any of their business. I don't want my ds to grow up thinking he's different because of these stupid peoples comments. His hair is beautiful just like him and I wouldn't have him any other way. People don't comment on my dd blonde hair so what gives them the right to comment on my ds????

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misdee · 25/05/2004 21:56

people ask me where dd2 gets her curls from. annoys the hell out of me as well. think she has beautiful hair and really want it for myself.

twiglett · 25/05/2004 21:58

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coppertop · 25/05/2004 22:00

Ds2 has red hair and it gets him so much attention. Bizarrely when I'm with him people ask me where he gets the colour from. As you can probably guess from my mumsnet name, I'm not exactly a blonde or brunette!

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NomDePlume · 25/05/2004 22:01

My DD is also a gorgeous little red head (from her Dad's side), people do comment on it but TBH I have never felt uncomfortable with them doing it. For instance, if I see a child with gorgeous shiny blonde ringlets or a baby with a lush crop of thick dark hair then I will quite often compliment the child and parent. Perhaps the people are genuinely enamoured with your little DS's hair colour? I would prefer to think that these people are complimenting DD on her hair, just as they do on her swimming pool blue dinner plate eyes ! Please try not to take these comments as offensive, ime it is just people being friendly

Janh · 25/05/2004 22:03

Aw, woodpops - it's like the people who think they have the right to comment on the names you choose.

Have you tried smiling sweetly and saying "it's gorgeous, isn't it?" You like it, that's what matters, what they think is irrelevant, don't let them get to you! You too, misdee.

(You could try turning it round and saying where did you get that coat from? Or those glasses? Or that grey hair? )

NomDePlume · 25/05/2004 22:03

Oh dear, it appears I am in the minority here !

coppertop · 25/05/2004 22:03

Yep, have to agree that all the comments about ds2's hair have been compliments. It's surprising the number of women who tell me how jealous they are because they always wanted a child with red hair.

sobernow · 25/05/2004 22:04

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JJ · 25/05/2004 22:04

Maybe say "From his father, isn't it gorgeous?". Or, if you'd like "Both the postman and the butcher are ginger haired. I don't know", just to shut them up?

I love ginger hair, btw. It reminds me of my first huge crush.

tamum · 25/05/2004 22:08

Just say "He has a variant melancortin 1 receptor gene. Dh and I are both heterozygotes and thus do not have red hair as it's a recessive mutation, but ds is homozygous". That should shut them up

misdee · 25/05/2004 22:11

dh was ginger as a child (he insists it was auburn), very burnt copper tone to his hair in pics i've seen. if he tries to grow a beard its ginger, in fact it glows, so i guess he is still a true red-head. i am certain that one of our kids will have red hair, just gonna place bets on any future kids, if i have a girl with curly red hair i will be very very jealous as my cousin has curly red hair and it is gorgeous!

eddm · 25/05/2004 22:13

I love red hair. But it is so striking you can kind of understand people commenting ? I don't think redheads ever fade into the background, just something you have to live up to I have very dark, very curly hair and people always comment on that too. Especially if they happen to see pics of me as a child when my hair was straight. In my head my reply is 'Arrrrgggghhh, it went curly when I was about 13, no, I don't know why, get over it!!!' In real life am far more polite about it. Aren't you ever tempted to say 'yes, thank heavens it isn't boring old brown/mousy/grey/blond like yours'?

ChicPea · 25/05/2004 22:16

If this is happening alot, why don't you get prepared with a smart answer - I don't have any at the moment - but one which will wipe the smile off their faces and one where as they walk away, they question whether they heard correctly!!!!!! "Did she really say that?"
And you just walk off with your head held high!Have some fun with it...! Have any MumsNetter's got any good ideas?
On a more serious note though (although I was serious about the above) people can be so ignorant. I went to a barbecue and a husband and wife really upset me. The wife said, "Oh, she has stork marks on her face. They tell you at the hospital that they will eventually go, but they never do" and her husband said "Where did she get those ears from?" as I was feeding her, and I just kept my back to him hoping he would realise what a creep he was for saying such a thing. He then went over to my husband and asked the same question. I left swiftly afterwards and that night I really cried. I felt so guilty that I had been too polite to stand up for my daughter and if I can't, who can? So when I saw the host of the barbecue, I said when he was talking about having another party, "This is what your Brother and SIL said to me last year... and if I ever see them again, I shall tell them in no uncertain terms what I think of them.
Just had a thought, could you say "Yes isn't his hair beautiful, I get so many comments from people as they are so envious of such a beautiful colour. Thank you so much." and walk off!

twiglett · 25/05/2004 22:19

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aloha · 25/05/2004 22:26

Don't take it as criticism. Real red hair is unusual and striking and people notice it. My stepdaughter has extremely striking red hair, people very often comment on it and as a result she is extremely proud of it. The only comment that did make me angry was a woman who told her, "I used to have hair exactly like yours. I couldn't wait to dye it blonde," but then she was a stupid airhead and tbh, my stepdaughter treated her with the contempt she deserves. I think people comment on it to break the ice because they want to talk to you about your lovely son.

ChicPea · 25/05/2004 22:33

When I read this thread and typed up my comments, only Misdee had posted. Then suddenly there were loads of replies as we were all typing at the same time! I LOVE Tamum's comments !!!!

tamum · 25/05/2004 22:38

ChicPea, that's so awful. How can people be so vile? I felt tears springing to my eyes just reading that. Your poor little dd- I bet she's beautiful

CountessDracula · 25/05/2004 22:47

Ask them if they are usually so racist.

CountessDracula · 25/05/2004 22:49

Dh and dd and ddog are all red. Well dd was but more blonde at the mo.

I get so pissed off when people are rude about red hair. I love it personally and was so hoping dd would be red. People used to say when I was pg oooh hope the baby gets your colouring. I used to say OH NO I WANT A RED BABY. Arseholes

lou33 · 25/05/2004 22:50

I get the same with my children and their white blonde hair. Mine is almost black and dh is normal dark blond/light brown. Drives me insane. I sympathise.

kalex · 25/05/2004 22:52

Tamum PSML , But could you get that all out without stumbling over the words !!!!

tamum · 25/05/2004 22:53

Well, I could kalex cos I talk like that all the time at work . I realise it doesn't exactly trip off the tongue though.

babster · 25/05/2004 22:58

My mum always comments when a child has ginger hair... because she loves it and thinks it's the most beautiful colour. Reading some of these posts, I hope that she hasn't offended anyone, as that certainly isn't her intention. How anyone could have the nerve to commiserate, I can't understand - red hair is gorgeous!

Aero · 25/05/2004 22:59

When ds1 was born he had a gorgeous shock of red (well a dark strawberry blonde) hair and we felt perfectly justified in calling him Rory (meaning red king). When the rest of his hair grew though, it came through blonde and still is, but every winter, that red part comes shining through and he's sooooo proud of it and quite rightly so.

lou33 · 25/05/2004 23:01

Babster I love red hair too. I spent many many years dying it all shades of red.

Aero, my youngest is a Rory, tho not because of red hair,he is white blond.