Things only people without kids would say...

[dodi1978]

For example: wouldn't it be great if he ate some vegetables? (About DS, 2.5)?

Hollow laughter.

Why can't you get her in the bath & wash her hair every night? I won't need a bath for my kids, just chuck them in the shower, they will be fine...

I'm not changing my routine or reducing my hours, I'll just stick them in childcare fulltime, easy...

It must be lovely to get paid (tax credits) & not have to work full time. Oh yes, because I'm sitting watching the telly those 2 days a week while DD sits & quietly colours in angelically

I don't understand why you had to take time off again, surely your DD only has a mild tummy bug? If I got that I'd still come to work...

Why are you always so tired, you only work part-time?

I used to love going to the supermarket with my babies. It was the only time the newborn would sleep and later on we'd just chat. It wasn't until they got too big for the trolley chair it became a nightmare!

Childcare seems very expensive - I'll get a job where I can work from home so I don't need to pay for it.

I'll never let my child watch Peppa Pig
I'm going to exclusively breastfeed
I don't like dummies
I wouldn't let my child have a tantrum

All said by myself pre children. What a dick I was!
My DD is OBSESSED with Peppa Pig- everything I buy is something to do with that bloody pig
I exclusively formula fed both my children in the end
I fucking LOVE dummies!
My DD has many tantrums and I let her get on with it

If you can't bf then you can make your own formula rather than use the Manufactured stuff that's full of sugar.
I don't know why anyone thinks that staying at home and looking after children is as challenging as a career. Some women do both.
Both said by my childless sister. Oh boy, i can't wait until she makes me into an auntie.....

Did you have a relaxing holiday?
Yeah with 3 DC it was really relaxing!!

CrazyDuchess I'm the opposite. I think soft play looks like hell on earth and I swear that I'll never take any eventual DC there...

I'm going to have a home birth, never shout, never let my children watch an iPad when out with us and never have plastic toys or Disney in the house - gosh - how little did i know don't know much more now but will certainly try to be less forthright

To be honest, I think a lot of these things are also said by people with children. I'm pregnant now, but before this I didn't really notice or comment on other people's kids or give them advice. I just wasn't that interested. I would just nod and smile sympthetically while my friends with kids discussed their parenting woes (and joys of course). Now I am pregnant the only people who give me advice or comment are people with kids and it is always conflicting! By the way, I am typing this while lying in bed, having had breakfast in bed and I'm not contemplating getting up any time soon (making the most of these things in the time I have left)!

Good for you

TheCake your post reminded me of this blog.

thechimericalcapuchin.com/babybooks/

God if it was me I'd be off out with the girls when DC is 3 weeks, sending her to my mums for the night. You need your own space too.

Um, as if!

Said to me by colleague expecting her first: I'm worried I'm going to be so bored on maternity leave. I'm going to learn Spanish, what did you do with your time?

Umm I mainly tried to have a shower.

This! Just this! People are incredible

I could have strangled my FIL when he kept saying "sleep when baby sleeps" that was worst advise ever so he clearly didn't do much of the childcare of his kids did he?!
My DD would sleep while out in pram or car so how could I try and catch up on sleep then?
A friend I used to work with commented on my then 5yo DD "yes she was chatting but she was good". Clearly believes children should be seen and not heard.

Why don't you write a book ( or some other Herculean task) during maternity leave as you'll have so much time!

Why won't he sit?

If I had a child, they'd never look so grubby.

Why are you driving a 5 seater?

My child won't be eating chocolate until they are 5.

bought loads of crafting stuff for maternity leave with PFB

I managed this, then DC1 became mobile. Oh well.

I planned on learning to play the piano. Still only got as far as chopsticks

The flip side of this is that people made comments acknowledging how tough it is then that too is frowned on.

I have one child and can't imagine the stress, hassle and expense of having more than one. But if I say that, I'm being rude and judgemental. And negative and unsupportive.

No! Bugger that! Do what you need to - don't let anybody else judge - it's your life

Twinsmumma, what would you like people to say about you having twins?

A friend of ours is expecting twins and we're all 'omg fabulous! How exciting! Double trouble!' etc while actually thinking holy fuck, how will they cope?

But people don't generally like hearing negativity do they, and it's best to be polite surely?

"Sleep when the baby sleeps" I don't know how people do that.

Me "I won't want an epidural" stupidest thing I ever said, didn't get it as he came out too fast but yeah no wonder customers in work gave me the look.