Things only people without kids would say...

[dodi1978]

For example: wouldn't it be great if he ate some vegetables? (About DS, 2.5)?

Hollow laughter.

She doesnt need a dummy
She doesnt need BF anymore
I hope you let her cry at night

Glad I followed my own instincts!

"Did you have a nice day off?" - the question I am asked every Wednesday after spending the previous day with 2 crazy toddlers on my "non working day".

High five for dudsville :o

Our friends are a bit younger than us and not at the children stage yet.

They booked a holiday at an all inclusive adult only resort (sounds my idea of heavon). We asked how long they were going for and they said only 5 days as they didn't want to get bored!!!

How can you be bored lounging, reading books or frankly doing what you want as you don't have to supervise kids by pool or get up early etc. madness

"Oh she can stay up a couple of hours later/eat an hour later than normal, it won't do any harm" - not for you maybe!
Another vote for the making noise thing. Somebody shouted into a microphone right next to my 9 month old a few years ago and told me she just had to get used to noise. It took two of us 3 hours to stop her screaming. I nearly took her to hospital. Fuckwit.
The "Stop being so silly" to baby DD when she was suffering very bad separation anxiety and was taken out if my arms by someone who wanted a cuddle. It really doesn't work like that!

When I made a huge effort to go to sisters birthday lunch with a two week old baby who hadn't slept and a 21 month old toddler, the first thing she said to me was "typical, peanuts is late again" !!! Still haven't forgiven the bitch for that, hope she has a baby so I can get my own back ha ha!!!

My childless friend recently suggested I complete a task I was complaining that I don't have time to do 'on a lazy Sunday afternoon, you know when you're just sat there reading the papers, do that task instead'.
Oh how I laughed!!!

I'm so tired, I only got 6 hours sleep last night.

"Just get up earlier than them to get showered/put make up on, etc"

Nooooo, sleep is very precious. I'd rather look like the elephant man

Said by my 'D'H husband "I think it's just lazy that you didn't go in the afternoon."

Four hours sleep, baby&toddler up at 6am, out by 9am for playgroup rota, home by noon, children in bed, mad dash to do housework/couple of loads of laundry/prep dinner, children up at 3pm, two hour window before dinner...yet I was "lazy" not to load them and their crap in car, drive to the other side of the city to collect something and back home for dinner through the start of rush hour.

Lazy 😐

Well just tell them NO!

I certainly wouldn't be preparing separate meals (child with sensory issues)

I'm so busy, I'm only managing some 'me' time 5 times a week.

I've just had a browse round that fine china shop in town.

Just join a gym then. You must have plenty of time.....

Why can't you come to yoga/swimming/meta fit at 7pm?
because that's known as shithead o'clock in my house with 3 feral beings to coax into a bath dickhead

Let's all catch up in the evening after work. It'd be great to relax after a long week's work with a glass of wine.

(I work full-time and have young DD and baby to attend to after "a long week's work"! Wine in evening for relaxation my arse!)

I'm been so exhausted today at work. Can't wait to get home.

I wish people will stop using their children as an excuse for being late to work/being off work.

"Babies move in to bottles and formula at 6 months, don't they?"

"Surely the children will just do as they are told?"

Both actually said to me!

All said by an expectant mother at work.

' I don't understand why you can't just skip her nap and bring her to meet us at the pub for lunch'

'i won't let my baby dictate my life, they'll fit in around me'

'there is no way I'd take a baby or toddler to the supermarket'

I've said nothing. Just in case she is a supermum and actually manages all of these things.

MY child will do as it's told. So when I want it to get in the pushchair, it will. HAHAHAHA

Just give yourself a break from breastfeeding, leave baby with DH and us girls can all go away for a couple of days.

hahahahaha!

Actually, the go to bed late get up later did work for us - only too well. DD just wouldn't go to sleep before 8.30/9.00 at the earliest. So we never had an evening to ourselves.

The upside was that we never got the early waking either.

"Giving birth is perfectly natural, I can't stand those women on OBEM who scream so much."

"Yes, I'm all ready for my birth, I've got my lavender mist spray and whale song CD packed."

To be fair, since the arrival of online groceries "I'll never take my baby/toddler to a supermarket" is an entirely reasonable thing to say. When DD was tiny DH did the big supermarket shop, and then Ocado came on the scene so we used them. "I'd never let my toddler throw a tantrum in a supermarket", now that's silly.

"I wont be giving my child sweets or pop or treats ever".....

"Now you've had a baby I can't see its easy"...I actually mearly smacked this person in the face for this.

No need to childproof the house. Just tell them not to go in the cupboards and teach them to climb the stairs safely.

What's wrong with taking a baby to the supermarket? (Genuine question)

Though actually those were said to me by parents of compliant (and coordinated - DS was a train wreck on the stairs when first learning!) children.

Oh yes, "can't he just skip his nap?" or "can't you just wake him up?" Are the worst offenders from my in-laws. That and "why don't we all go out for the day?" with 15 minutes notice! Going out for the day is a military operation...

Said by me to my mum when I was pregnant with DD1:

"So I'm going to do what the books say and sleep when the baby is sleeping".

My dear mum was kind enough not to point out that that idea is bollocks if you ever want to eat/shower/put a wash on. She let me discover that for myself.

WhatThe I think the problem was that it just seemed easier to go without them so why would you take them. (Let's ignore that this is true for absolutely everything once you have a child!)

my DD loves going so I don't mind it, but we also do a lot of online deliveries so it's more like an adventure. A very sad, boring adventure.