At what age does it become 'easier' with kids?

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

You're all going to say it doesn't aren't you . But with DD aged 3 and DS aged almost 2, I'm just fed up having to fend for other people. Yes I know they are my kids and they can't help it but I'm bored and cranky. They've had colds for what seems like weeks. Weather been wretched. Hardly been out but TBH it's easier to stay in and have everything to hand as I just seem to get in a flap if I go anywhere with them.
I look a mess, permanently covered in bits of them, I'm tired all the time, hugely resentful of DH for not having to deal with my day etc. etc.
Oh for when they can dress themselves and put on their seatbelts and follow instructions to the letter.

At 2 and 3 you can't be far off, because pretty soon one will be at School and the other at Pre School (1 - 2 years time). Now that is when life gets easier!

controlfreaky - What? How did you arrive at that conclusion?
Custardo - with the 6-11 thing. I've been there too.

DD is 3 and is great but I found it hard being at home with her all holiday and was happy to be at work for some time off.

Ds is nearly 11 and has been much easier since he was 5 when you could really talk to each other and you didnt have to walk round the house with him strapped to your legs.

When they turn 5/go to school. (For working mums too, not just from the no-kids-around point of view)

I was back at work with both of mine when they were around 10 weeks old and I, also, would have done it even if I didn't have to!

Xenia - I didn't comment on the thread about private schools because my blood starts boiling so much on that issue that I'm incapable of rational thought (!!!) but I totally agree with you here!

Having said that, dd2 is now 9 and I'm finding the idea of a third baby and a long, long time on maternity leave extremely attractive now! I suppose interests/priorities change? No chance of this though, so won't think about it!

Mine are 5 and 3 and it has become a lot easier in the last 6 months or so. We have got rid of cots, nappies and buggies and they are playing well together.
Actually it has been getting progressively easier I think. I have friends with children just hitting teens and I think that's when its going to get harder again (in a completely different way of course).

Oh and in reply to the original post - I think I liked a newborn plus a 2 year old, and a 4-6 plus 6-8 yr old the best. DD1 is just getting teenage-itis - arghhh.

At the risk of 3littlefrogs slapping me around the chops for my bare faced cheek, I always feel quite sceptical when mums of teenagers say - oooh you think it is hard now - you just wait until they are teenagers. I just assume they have forgotten just how draining and exhausting pre schoolers can be - especially in the pre verbal stage.

Of course I am probably talking out of my arse as I have no experience of teenagers!

nc, no, no.. making me laugh..

"teenagers are trying to get you attention with their annoying behaviour... perhaps they are angry at sensing you would rather have worked full time for no financial gain than be with them?? just a thought."

I think they were just normal teenagers. They're 18, 20 and 22 now so not teenagers in any proper sense any more. They've contributed to articles I've written about working mothers. I think they are glad I worked but I would never speak for them and I like it when they disagree with me. I think we had a reasonable teenage years with them. The girls got into horses instead of boys which I think helped a lot as they spent hours outdoors. There's a process of separation teenagers go through and I almost think their ability to wind up their parents, look at times physically disgusting, spots etc is designed so that the parent sort of wants to cast them out, a kind of natural process so they go forth and live a life apart perhaps in anthropological terms. Then they suddenly start being nicer again.

Nothing is as hard as being woken every 2 hours all night for 6 months. Nothing. It's a torture in prisons all round the globe. If teenager wakes me it's just for a few minutes. I've actually got about 5 teenage boys staying the night here with alcohol tonight (hence hiding in my office ) but even that is easier than little babies, who by the way I love. I adore babies and pregnancy and breast feeding. Just didn't liek it 24/7.

Message withdrawn

That's really cheering news CarolTheAncient - because I love board games, charades etc...and your bit about this being massively preferable to singing wheels on bus / feeding dolls really resonated with me

I have a 14 month old and definitely enjoying him more the older he gets. I enjoy the getting something back - even if its just a point or shake of the head. When he starts talking i'll probably be praying for just the pointing!

I went back to work when DS was 10 months for 16 hours per week to give me that time out, and i think we both benfit from that greatly

Do you know I am warming to you Xenia - I think your views on SAHMs are a bit batty, but you didn't at all rise to the (fairly provocative) bait thrown to you a few posts ago. Completely unruffled. Respect!

I think its really sad all these mums saying they were so desperate to be away from their kids when they were under 5 they would have gone to work for a loss.

What a waste, of being with your kids, of not enjoying your kids and of not apprecaiting your kids.

It's totally different from going to work for financial gain, or do you all mean part time work to get a break out the house? Surely not full time just to get away from your babies??

xenia and others... i should have added a or a or even a [hmmm]. i wasnt being serious.... but your constant banging on about the unadulterated joy of full time working as the answer to all ills does make me want to scream. i am on years sabbatical from demanding full time job... i dont feel the need to bang on about working / not working all th time.
in answer to the op imo less tiring from about 4 definitely... but different issues to deal with as they get older.

Would say give me toddlers instead of teenagers anytime!! At least my baby does not steal my make-up,clothes,jewellery,mobile phone....and then say'Mother,get over it' or 'like I care?' and shrug in that uniquely teenage way that makes you want to scream...
I have 4 children,DD1 17(!!) ds 11,DD2 7 and DD3 12 months.Def easier between 3 and 11. Dreading TWO more lots of teenage girls!However,time does fly and although it is a cliche,they are not little for long.

I think its really sad all these mums saying they are such appendages of their men and desirous of being possessions and not contributing to society in an economic way, subserivien etc so desperate to be away from the normal world of work that they think the artificial set up of staying home with under 5s when women all round the world have always worked and still do in most places

What a waste, of being an adult, of going to school, university, being in the real world,...

You bring out the worst in me on here. Working parents spend hours with their children. They have lovely relationships with them. Look at what your husbands do with theirs. It's not SAHM or parent who never sees an under 5. Can;t we just accept fathers and mothers make choices as to whether or not they work and not criticise them when they do?

handle - not sure which one. It obviously didn't offend me.

Carol it's even more fun when you can discuss economics with a daughter and US politics with a son.

Agree. I was only being flippant. I am content that some SAHMs can't understand parents working out of choice and some working mothers can't understand people choosing to be 24/7 with under 5s. We can easily leave it at that and be glad some of us have a choice.

The rest was interesting. The different stages etc. Teenage bits are as someone else mentioned -the talking back, the ability to annoy because they know what annoys you more than anyone, the on the phone all the time to their friends, demands for money, saying everyone does XYZ when they don't and later staying out later than they should or not knowing where they are. You can manage all that much easier than you can manage anything if you're sleep deprived which is really the issue with babies but also with under 5s it's the inability to do other things too. I noticed at a family lunch we had my poor brother and his wife with their 1 and only just turned 3 year old they hardly could sit still for a minute. Compare that to me being there with my older 5 and it was dead easy for me.

snowfun - my benefit of going to work is the extra cash for me, & for my ds who is in childcare and learnt lots of new skills

xenia, your veneer of calm didnt take long to shatter!

agree silent terror, after 3 it gets easier imo. You get longer moments to yourself. Not at the teenage years yet so can't say. Although I am enjoying having more adult conversations with my 9 and 8 year olds so hope that it only gets better into their teenage years.