People touch my baby's face - rant

[qi]

I am always angry about this.

Today at M&S shop there was a woman (who works there) came from no where and start to touch DS's face.

I treat my DS as a little person not a toy, I'd expect others do the same. Besides, how do I know a random person's hand is clean or this person does not have disease?

I think it should be an offence to touch baby's face without asking the parent first.

Is DS your first baby?

I hated it with my first baby too - wanted to spray baby with disinfectant afterwards

When DS was born I was a LOT more chilled out.

"I think it should be an offence to touch baby's face without asking the parent first". A bit over the top methinks. PFB by any chance? or trip trap?

FWIW I generally agree that it's not OK for people to just touch babies without asking first, but it happens and 9 times out of 10 it is a natural, caring reaction. She obviously thought your little one was absolutely adorable and perhaps you should try and see it from this perspective and be compliemented on the fact that you've got a gorgeous baby that people want to admire.

When she was baout 6 months old DD1 was subjected to a woman sticking her very long and very manky nails into her mouth in M&S. She was crying and this woman thought she'd put her finger in her mouth to "help soothe her". I think she needed some soothing once I'd given her my opinion on her approach.

Some stupid woman came up to my DS when i was out and his cheeks were really red... she said "oh let me look at those little teeth coming thru" and then proceeded to stick her manky finger in his mouth....

WHY WOULD YOU DO IT??? You wouldnt do it to your DH let alone someone you didnt know???

Maybe I need to chill out a little in terms of getting angry. However I think different have different approach to our babies. We hug/cuddle/kisses him but we don't generally touch his face and play with his face. In my opinioin, people should do this to pets - dogs and cats but not babies.
A loving and caring approach to our own baby and our friends baby is different from some stranger's baby.
Yes this is my first, he is absolutely the best

i'm guilty of doing this sorry! i think it's kind of nice though

"However I think different have different approach to our babies." Oops, meant "different parents"...

completly agree!

I can't bear it, especially when they are tiny, I wouldnt touch your baby's face qi!

next baby i will print a baby grow up to say 'keep yer grubby mits off me'

(unless my mum says its ok )

Someone in tesco kissed my baby I didnt know what to do! I just smiled.

I will make a prediction that only people with one baby mind this.

They care. They don't mean to offend. They like cute babies. Chill and smile

agree with hunker .. only first time parents would care or even notice

get over it .. you will anyway .. so you may as well do it now

honestly there are worse things to think about than someone expressing affection for your baby

Thank you preggerspoppet. I wouldn't touch other baby either. Talk and smile to them is different, and hold them only when my friends pass their treasure to me!

Sorry, I blow your theory, I'm on my third!

But I am a bit funny about other peoples hands...

If you have a shining car and someone come over touch it, what would you feel?

If those like to "hand-on" random babies think baby is not a person, then baby is part of his/her parent, touching a baby without asking the parent is a personal invation.

Otherwise if baby is regarded as an individual, seperate entity, then baby needs some respect as well.

Either way, touching "stranger"'s baby is not right. People sholud be aware that other parents may do different things to what you do to your own children.

did you really just say a baby is like a car?

a baby is a human being .. it will grow, hopefully, to be part of a community .. it actually doesn't belong to a parent .. it belongs to the community .. there is much to be said for belonging to a community and the extended family experiences that all adults can offer to yougn children

this divisive mentality when you are totally observant of your child is sad IMHO

but that's just my (fairly squiffy) opinion

i quite like it when people admire ds. i wouldn't like it if they put their fingers in his mouth or kissed him on say his lips though, but more for hygiene reasons than anything cos ds catches everything around!

You should try having a baby in Cyprus! They wouldn't even make eye contact with you. Actually after the first time someone in a shop grabbed dd's chubby legs to squeeze as they walked past and I got over the (she was my first) I really liked it as part of the Cypriot culture of just ADORING children. They are only doing it because they like children. I love stroking childrens heads/cheeks, and now think I do it too often

Baby of course is not a car. I was just trying to make my point. Baby is a tiny person who is absoluted depend on their parent. Yes we all belong to a community but that does not give random person the right to touch a baby. Adore a baby comes in many forms. Simply hands off!

I like it when people coo over my babies, I've never been precious about handing them over to people either (within reason) and I think it shows. Both mine actively seek out eye contact with people to make them smile & talk to them and have done since they were tiny things. People love babies and I think twiglett is right about it being a shared community thing.

I don't think it's right to touch babies. Their defence system are much weaker than adults and can catch germs more easliy than the others. I don't mind them cooing over them or talking to them, but touching is a bit offensive without asking.

When I come home from work, I make sure I wash my hands before I touch my children. Having to use public transport, I'd rather be safe than sorry.

I agree it's not acceptable for someone to stick a finger into your baby's mouth - amazed that anyone could do such a thing
But a stroke on the cheek to admire your gorgeous baby is harmless and frankly, quite heartwarming, when you hear so many stories about how child-unfriendly this country is.
Of course there are germs out there but babies don't live in a sterile bubble. Are you supposed to check the hands of every friend or family member who touches your baby too?
Lighten up I say

but yuck! come on, hands and fingers are the most disgusting things, especially on a stranger, don't you think?

If a stranger came and stroked my face, (even if they were being adoring and friendly) I would be most repulsed!

That's not to say (justamum) that my kids aren't like yours; thy don't freak out when they have to open a public door, quite the opposite, they are often knee-deep in cowshit on our farm and are incredibly sociable beings.

But a stranger touching my babies face? I will absoultly not lighten up on that!

I would feel ok asking anyone to wash their hands before holding any of my newborns, as I absolutly would before holding anyone else's.

People give hospitals such a hard time for their infection control, what makes people believe that it is ok to go around touching vulnerable people's faces without a thought to the minging germs they may have just picked up from that £10 note they just hed, just because is it not in a hospital and they are being friendly?

ugh you lot ming

meant to add -holding a baby's hand is a good way of getting your bugs into the baby's mouth without sticking your finger in it init.

I was going to do a post like Twigletts. It is a sign of how society is now - we live so apart from each other rather than as a community with extended families blah blah blah.

Fingers in teh mouth though? Yeuch

Not sure what disease you can catch though from someone touching your baby? Is there such a disease?