People touch my baby's face - rant

[qi]

I am always angry about this.

Today at M&S shop there was a woman (who works there) came from no where and start to touch DS's face.

I treat my DS as a little person not a toy, I'd expect others do the same. Besides, how do I know a random person's hand is clean or this person does not have disease?

I think it should be an offence to touch baby's face without asking the parent first.

Bugs? So what damage will these bugs do? Interested as I'm genuinley not sure.

Before DD1 I lived in an area where I knew almost nobody and would find walking around on maternity leave very lonely. Same when I went to the local stores. Sometimes I would not speak to a single person all day until I saw DH..
I was over the moon when DD1 came along and suddenly I became "visible" and people smiled at me and my baby, they were genuinely interested and happy to ask after her - how old, her name, sleeping routines etc. It was lovely! Ok, so I would draw the line if anyone stuck their fingers in her mouth (yuck!) but touching her cheek, holding her hand etc were just fine - better than fine, it kept me sane.
Don?t let this thread stop anyone out there smiling or being friendly towards a new mum - I needed that contact and it kept me afloat through a difficult time of PND. The eye contact and the physical little contact gestures of touching my arm, patting her head etc made me feel real and human.
Bit overdramatic I know, but it is true. I think that many many more women out there appreciate a kind word and genuinely friendly contact from others more than the minority that want a "no go" zone around their child!

twiglet - you are absolutely spot on with your community post thing. I totally agree. Whilst we are guardians of our children and the first port of call, the "community" we live in is so very important. We moved to a small village with a high level of primary school age children and familes. Our children run in and out of each other?s homes (obv. with careful monitoring) and learn so much from diff families and friends. Best way to get a sense of self and belonging in the "bigger" picture.

also, the flip side of this is the joy someone might get from stroking a baby;s cheek or touching their hand,...if they have little contact with their own grandkids or their family are all grown up..babies are designed to be compelling and to invite adoration and love....who hasn't walked past a tiny baby in a pram or a sling and automatically goen, 'awwwwww, how sweet , so tiny..." etc.....

fingers in mouth..no...but a stroke on the cheek or hand, or a squeze of a leg,...yes please ! admire my baby thanks !

hang on lemontart I totally agree with you! that is not what I am after at all -a no-go zone if I have a baby, no no no!

Bugs as simple as the common cold virus can be incredibly harmful to a newborn baby, especially the more vulnerable amongst them.
(such as bottle fed babies)

Have you heard of a young baby with bronchiolitus? that is basically the common cold, but some babies just can't deal with it and end up being hospitalised and potentially end up with lung damage.

There are gazillions of things that a baby could pick up from an unwashed hand.

I think it is wonderful when someone appreciates the miracle that is a new baby. I do it all the time (from a small distance) but I also feel that we expose our young babies too early to nasties like other peoples fingers.

oh god- danger alert, I probably chose the wrong example then -bottle fed babies, don't all have a go please! I'm not a breastfeeding activist!!

Hmm, so when your baby is born what do you do? Stop hospital staff touching it, not allow relatives to hold them? Loads of people touched and carried my two after they were born. Are they not also born with for a while with some immunity from the mother.

Think you need to chill to be honest. Unlikely to get a "disease" from someone touching your babies face .

No wonder there are so many more allergies and things these days, in this over-obsessive antiseptic hand washing society.

weird

All this handwashing and not touching paranoia, that's more worrying.Really not necessary, that's more likely to make tham ill in the long wrong. The problem is in your head.

Unless a very vulnerable baby, very prem or something (better example preggerspoppet?)

when dd2 was a baby an older woman grabbed her feet, wiggled them and said what a gorgeous baby - it was Judy Dench, by your reckoning I should have been repulsed. Get a life, typical overprotective first time mum stuff - I was the same, but now - per lease

I think this can all get out of hand really quickly - do you know that there are more disgusting germs on a shopping trolley handle than on a toilet seat!! - Fact - so, a little cheek-stroking is never going to do much harm - I agree that people shouldn't shove fingers into a baby mouth, but, short of putting your child behind a grille in their pram, people will lean in and coo etc. It's nature's way of building an immune system.

I love it when people admire DS, and stroke his face. And he loves it too. The touching doesn't happen now because he's 18 months, but when he was a tiny baby, we never went out without people cooing over him, bending right over into the pram to touch his little cheek or gurgle at him. I thought it was lovely that people took time out of their day to make my baby smile. It made us all feel happy. I never thought for a minute he might catch something from them, and I don't think I'd be much bothered even if it had occurred to me. If I wanted him to remain sterile, I'd never have left the house! (And might have had to do more cleaning )

calm down you lot!
If judy dench touched my baby's face without me knowing her hands were clean, I would be peeved.

foot rubbing, imo is ok.

I'm on my third baby by the way!!

no to the stopping hospital staff touching the baby, I would just ensure they had washed their hands.

pmsl...... of all the things to get mad about! fgs babies eat crap they find on the floor! i think it's lovely when people show affection to my children..... old men ruffle dd's hair in shops and old ladies touch them as if they're lucky charms and it makes me grin every time'

'I treat my DS as a little person not a toy' exactly! and human beings enjoy being touched, it's an essential part of how we communicate and grow. i can never understand why people get offended about this

I agree I would never pick somebody's baby up or stroke it anywhere with being invited to do so, it's not right any more than patting a strangers bump would be.

God we are all so seperate and paranoid now I think people touching babies is lovely and even just someone putting their hand on your arm when they talk to you has a real meaning.My friends and I have always been really touchy with our children and years ago babies were looked after by everyone and I for one would welcome a return to this sort of community vibe.

i think you are being silly
it s a big old world you have brought a person into - get real or you will be in for a lot of heartache

it's good for babies to be exposed to normal everyday germs, builds up their immune system. god help you when your ds eats his first fluff ball.

i visit an old peoples home weekly. The old dears there often ask to hold my baby. Ladies I have never seen before.I feel priveleged to be able to offer them a few minutes of joy - experiencing the feel of a baby - its a very short phase.

I think you sound a little selfish tbh

Noddy, I think that's a really good point. I'm terribly touch-me-not, and DH is very touchy-feely. I want DS to be like DH, and NOT like me.

whoever said this is a 'sign of how society is now' I'd just like to say that maybe parts of society are like this purely BECAUSE people are allowed to think this kind of reaction to a stranger touching their baby is NORMAL

it is so very far from normal that it slightly upsets me I must admit (I don't mean to sound mean .. sorry)

I think people should do their utmost to combat these slightly psychotic tendencies to view 'strangers' as bug-infested enemies and try to reach out and re-form a sense of community .. your child will benefit so much more from open parenting than unecessary cosseting / over-protection

I wish I lived in Italy personally where complete strangers will pick your child up and twirl them round before kissing them hugely .. and they will do that purely for the joy of interacting with the gorgeous and fabulous person that is your child

couldn't agree more twiglett my mum is a thoroughly don't touch clean freak and she always looks really unhappy.I practice reiki and there are elderly people who attend the free reiki demos just to have that touch as they sometimes go for weeks without seeing anyone

Hear Hear, what the Twiglet said.