How to deal With some snotty women in the park

[2012PP]

I have a 3.9 yr old.

At the moment he thinks that saying poo-poo, bum and poo-face type things is extremely funny.

I tell him that it's not... Explain that it's not polite & that others don't like it and at times I ignore it.

Some of the adults we come into regular contact with do pretty much the same.

I've had three incidents recently where an unknown adult has reprimanded him for saying these silly things to their kids..

I am totally at a loss to know the best way to manage this!

I know I probably just need to get a grip, ignore etc... But today I came away from the park feeling very frustrated and cross and down about the whole thing.

He's not being aggressive or horrible. He's a 3.9 year old child playing.

I could really do with some sensible, practical suggestions - please?

Another tack I use is

"Do you like it when people call you names?"

"No"

"Do you want to be friends with that boy/girl?"

"Yes"

"Do you think they'll want to be your friend if you call them names?"

Worked quite well when he went through a raspberry blowing phase

I always try to adopt a bored attitude to behaviour I don't like. So I would be likely to say " we only say kind words to people we meet " in a steady tone and at the next infraction physically move him away. I have with mine taken them home crying from situations if having warned them they have continued. It then has usually stopped the behaviour in future. I let them cry it out a bit and then comfort them and distract them onto the next thing in the day.

I know my kids are not the mega determined personality types and other methods might be needed!

callitdelta7 ..... Thank you. I needed a laugh.

Geoffreygoat...Thank you also, that's a great idea and I'll try it too.

I've also maybe gone a bit too far in giving him a bit of space & given a bit too much. I don't leave him and can always see where he is but it can be a way off out of hearing distance... I'll tactfully watch from a bit closer so I can hear more of what's going on ,mot intervene more quickly if necessary .

I know I'll look back on these days and long for them....

Omg calldelta mines a nose picker too....

horror- callitdelta.

I think staying in ear shot is definitely the way forward. You don't need to crowd him but be around to step in as soon as necessary.

Remember though that sometimes he might be saying these things as a way of getting attention. Small children don't really distinguish between good and bad attention they just want attention.
You know him best as to whether a very bored 'I don't understand what you are saying' attitude or a big telling off will work best if he pushes it too far.
It is good to encourage them to make their own friendships but he is still so young and probably still needs help knowing 'how' to go about that.

Hope you have a better day tomorrow.

Bit of benign neglect is fine, as long as some snotty baggage isn't sneering at you from a park bench! Kids need to work things out themselves, she's done her DC no favours by constantly intervening. And 3/4yo's are tattle tales so you'd have found out son enough if it was something you needed to know. I keep mine in eye sight at all times (can tell by body language if things are a bit fraught) but I have a 6mo to look after as well and I'm no supermum so he's had to learn to cope!

I will never-EVER hear that song in the same way again, I'm in stitches ..
probably why my ds finds poo so funny

Thank you avebury. I'm going to do that and we will see. I'm sure it'll all come out well in the wash

OP, most things kids do are actually really funny, we just have to tell them it's not.

In case you think my child grew up feral, every parent's evening has reported that my child is the most polite and well mannered child in the class. Whole different story at home.

Thank you tinysombraro.

I'm going to try that too.

Difficult balance of letting them work it out themselves or getting too involved!

She does actually sound awful :( she shouldn't be calling your wee boy names either! I can understand why you were annoyed.

You're doing a grand job OP, mine absolutely crease themselves up with all the poo, fart, bogey bums. I leave them to it if it's jovial but obviously there's a fine line when it comes to other people's kids. Keep on with reinforcing to him it's not nice and don't engage him. As for snotty mum telling your son he's a horrible boy, take comfort in the fact you don't speak to little kids like that. Hope you have a better day today!

If you had repeated what the other mother said in your OP, you would have been overwhelmed by sympathy from the beginning!

What she said is 1000x worse than any 3 year old's nonsense.

I agree that telling him he makes no sense, and finding nothing funny or embarrassing about poo, willies, farts, etc, means that kids get over this silliness quite fast.

If you were near enough to hear what the woman said to him, surely you were near enough to have jumped in and told your child off before she had the chance to say anything?

Thanks bertrandrussel.

If I had heard and if he'd said something nastyof course I would have stepped in. I don't stand over him or listen to him the whole time he is playing. She was loud.

Also it's not just that one incident that pushed me to ask m/n for advise.

I'm not asking for sympathy , I was looking for some sensible, practical advise which some lovely people have given , which I will try out today as we are going to a park... I'm armed with some great strategies and feel positive about today.

Good on you. No doubt you will nip it in the bud. Good luck to the precious ones when they start school and repeat what they have heard in the playground!

Thanks a lot greenfolder I feel much stronger today.

Yesterday was a hard day!

Meh. My 14 year old Ds still refers to people as poo heads. As in " we had Mr X today for physics. He's a poo head."
Better than calling him a fucking twat I suppose..