What can your (nearly) 4 year old do

[Peppaismyhomegirl]

Hello,
DS is 4 in June. I am PG with DC 2 due end of May. I am working on getting DS up to speed on doing a bit more for himself, age appropriate things. It's not going great.
He's bright, but does the things he doesn't want to do so slowly I end up doing it for him. Getting himself dressed being the main bone of contention.
I'm not expecting to much here am I. What's the "norm" for his age and how do you get them to do it properly.

Ds is just turned 4, he can eat his breakfast/lunch without supervision, undress and redress himself, put his shoes on the right feet but not great with his heavy coat can do a light zipper, can play alone for at least 30 mins, go to sleep alone, he can help to make his own lunch, take care of his toilet needs and hand washing. Just now we are working on opening packets, pouring a drink, serving himself.

Ive always been quite keen on him doing things for himself we have a rule try 2 times but if u cant mummy will do it. Kids are a lot more competent than people give them credit for it just takes time, practice, patience and praise.

Also give twice as much time for tasks as what you think they should need things are hard when you are just learning.

DD1 is only 3.5, but I worked on the following before DD2 arrived:

• Climbing in and out of car seat and putting arms through straps ready for me to do up

-Opening and closing car door

• Putting coat on
• Putting shoes on and doing up Velcro and zips (not laces)
• Putting on own pants, trousers/skirt and socks. She can now also do tights and tops of I gather them up for her.
• Taking off pyjamas, putting under pillow and pulling duvet up, opening curtains
• Removing whatever clothes she could and putting in hamper
• Carrying plate and glass (separately) to kitchen and putting beside sink
• Pour milk onto cereal from a small jug and pour out cereal from a smaller container (I decant sole in every few days)
• Climbing into bath using a step stool
• I bought her flushable wipes so she could have a better go at wiping if I was caught up with the baby. She also takes off her night nappy, puts it in the bin and gives her bum a wipe over with the wipes
• I made sure she had a coat hook at her height and somewhere to put shoes away neatly in the front hall

Definitely start training now though!

DS is just 4. Although very bright, he's a lazy so-and-so and his lack of interest in getting himself dressed etc means that his fine motor skills are nowhere near the level my DD's were at the same age. I'm assured that this is quite normal for a boy.

He CAN, with a bit of bribery,:

• Put on his shoes (right feet!) and do up Velcro
• Get dressed (although still needs help with small buttons, poppers and stiff zips and I have to fold his socks back so he just slips his foot in and pulls them up).
• Remove shoes and coat and hang up / put on rack when we get home
• Get undressed for bed (sometimes needs help with tight tops)
• Put dirty laundry in hamper
• Pull duvet up to 'make' his bed. Not particularly neatly, but hey ho!
• Set the table and clear away his dishes
• Use a knife and fork quite well
• Pour a drink, dispense sauce etc
• Eat independently if e.g I'm in kitchen cooking adults' dinner
• Use the toilet independently for wees (including putting the seat back down, flushing and washing hands). He still needs help with wiping after a poo.
• Clean his teeth pretty well (I still have a go afterwards to make sure they're clean) but if we're short on time I can be reasonably sure he's done a good job if I have to leave him to it
• Blow own nose (I'm working on teaching him to put tissue in the bin afterwards rather than on floor!)
• Wash himself in shower

We've hit on a brilliant tactic for ds 4 getting dressed. We use the timer on our phones to see how quick he can do it and he loves the challenge of this. He usually manages to get totally dressed in 4-5 minutes. :)

Ok so he is up to speed with most of this. Which is encouraging! It's the getting dressed which is the main one. Everything else mentioned he does do, just not the getting dressed or undressed. I'm gunna start on this tomorrow properly. Or normally descends on me shouting and doing it for him 🙈
Timer sounds great. Thanks everyone

Ds was 4 last week. He can eat independently (although needs help cutting things up), use the toilet independently, he can put on his shoes and do up the Velcro although usually on the wrong feet, put his coat on but not do it up, he can change his trousers and pants taking them on and off. He struggles to take tops off but can put them on as long as the neck is big enough. Can't do socks yet. Gets in his car seat and puts his arms through the straps.
Every child is different though and you should never compare. Dd could make her own sandwich at 4 and was incredibly independent. Ds1 wouldn't even use the toilet till he was 4.

Sorry I ment ds was 4 last month not last week!