Child distributing indecent video without consent.

[triplethefun]

Not sure what topic this should be posted on. My dd's 'friend' videoed her naked getting changed for swimming and sent the recording via snapchat to 3 boys. My dd was unaware she was being recorded. We're utterly devastated. One of the boys has allegedly screenshotted the images and showed others. My dd is 11 years old, her 'friend' is 12. The school are involved but are underplaying what we feel is a very serious situation as this all happened outside school hours. The 'friends' parents are on holiday and have not been informed. Does anyone know where we can get some advice about this? Lots of info online about sexting but this is completely different!

Police, immediately.

I would then ask the school to contact the parents involved and advise them that the police have been informed.

At this age children are extremely vulnerable and are only just learning about the capabilities and consequences of the Internet. It needs nipping in the bud and the "friend" and boy in question need to be made an example of to others in order to deter anything like this from happening again.

Involving the police will send a very powerful message to their peers that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.

I'm so sorry it's your daughter who had to go through this, let us know how you get on.

It is a school matter if the photos are being passed around among class mates and this is resulting in your dd being bullied ect...

I would also go to police that and if i ever seen the little cow i'd ring her fucking neck aswell

Google CEOP - child exploitation and online something or other and call the police. All involved will be in huge trouble and may end up with a police record - it is such a serious crime! Your poor daughter 😢

Police. Immediately. Now.
They need to speak to the other girl and to the boys and make sure they all know that they have committed a serious crime. This will frighten them into ensuring they never, ever do anything similar again. I'm not advocating anything more than a serious talking to btw.

Your poor DD - this happened to a friend's daughter who subsequently went on to become severely anorexic for years. Don't wish to alarm you but make sure your daughter gets proper support.

Another one saying not a school matter. Police ASAP please

Contact Police is a crime

At 11 - motivation unlikely to be sexual. Probably just a misguided idea of a "joke".

But they need to understand it is serious. A joke today, sexual harrassment tomorrow. And your DD needs to know that it will be taken seriously.

I hope the police scare them to death. It could ruin their lives if they get put on the sex offenders register. I agree that all children need to beware of the consequences of this kind of behaviour. I think the children who do this kind of thing are foolish, spiteful, bullies etc but probably don't have a high chance of becoming more serious offenders if this is dealt with properly.

At 11 - motivation unlikely to be sexual. Probably just a misguided idea of a "joke".

It doesn't matter what the motivation was, the act was still illegal...

Another vote for the police how awful for your daughter . School need to take this seriously too . Police may be able to offer further support for your daughter or point you in the right direction .

That's what I said

At 11 - motivation unlikely to be sexual.

Really? You know this do you Bertie?

The friend is 12. And both and 11 and 12 year old's are absolutely aware of sex, grooming, boyfriends, girlfriends etc etc. Note the 'friend' sent the video to BOYS.

My first thought was it seems like bullying to me, but bullying with sexual overtones.

Thanks for all your messages. Just to be clear my dd's 'friend' is a girl, one of her best friends. We are friends with the girls parents too and have known each other for years. The school has told us they are now dealing with the situation and contacting her parents. I'm reluctant to involve the police but desperately want this girl to realise the seriousness of her actions. The boys who received the recording didn't ask for it. My dd feels hurt and worried about her happy little friendship group being blown apart but how can she have that carefree relationship with her friends again?

This is horrific. It needs to be taken very seriously and every child involved needs to have enough of a scare to never ever share a photo - especially an indecent one again. If the school and children are allowed to brush this under the carpet they will have learned nothing from it. I would KILL someone who did this to my child - or my child if they were the one who did this!

whether the motive is sexual or not is surely not the most important thing: a line was crossed, they ALL need to be fully aware of this. OP you are teaching your dd that because it might upset all cosy relationships she must not upset the apple cart too much. That's a terribly misguided lesson. I would be horrified if my DC did this but I would want to know and I would respect the parents for coming to me. I think you're underplaying it. This girl will realise the seriousness of messing with pictures when the police sit down with her.

Good point Rho
OP, your DD may well say she doesn't want any fuss but you absolutely must demonstrate to everyone just how very serious this is. And that includes your DD and the parents of the 'friend' - no matter how close you all are.

If I were one of those parents I would want the police to come and talk to my daughter.

OP you absoloutley must notify the police.

Irrespective of how you feel the school are handling it or the friendship you have with the parebts.

triple You need to go to the police. There are naked pictures of your child on the Internet. Who knows how many people really have it. This is actually very big and it shouldn't matter if you know her parents or they are you friends.

Your daughter has been violated. You daughter also needs to be aware that you will go to all lengths to protect her from horrible stuff like this. How would you feel if some one had done this to you for a joke? Maybe your dd doesn't really understand the real impact of this.

If you go to the police - yes you may get in trouble but they may also be able to take the picture of the phones or any other social media site properly.

Your dd is your only concern here. No one else

And - the 11 year old girls I worked with would have been well aware that this was well out of order and crossing the line . I'm guessing the 'friend' did too.

Op I don't really think that you understand this situation.

If you go to the police you have the best chance of getting these photos deleted, or at least slowing down or restricting their spread. The punishment of the children involved is important, but what is more important is saving your DD from further harm.

If you leave it up to the school, who sound a bit useless, you run The risk of the pictures spreading. There are naked picture of your daughter out there, why would you not do your utmost to shut that down? Do you want her to come back after half term to hear everyone sniggering that they have seen her or . (Sorry, not normally prudish, but feel a bit strange writing those words about a young girl...)

Do you want her to be Google- able? To be a laughing stock? Or even worse do you want men wanking off to naked images of your child?

Of course you don't.

Fuck friendship groups. Get a grip. Call the fucking police.

You must go to the police. You have no idea who has this image now. This could hang around for a long time unless it is dealt with now.

Why are you not listening OP?

The school will have to contact the police and social services as this is a crime and a child protection issue.

Because the 'perpetrator' is only 12 there is unlikely to be a prosecution but a social worker will contact both of the families to take measures to ensure this doesn't reoccur.