Help with "No daddy, mummy do it!"

[NancyDroop]

My just turned 2 year old DD is very much a mummy's girl. She doesn't let my DH help with much, she always prefers me to help (with a huge dose of "No mummy, DD do it!" as well of course).

Does anyone have any advice about how to gelp us find some balance here?

It is tiring for me and sad for DH, who is very hands on, very kind, patient, playful.

We have DC2 arriving in 2 months so are very keen for DD to start being happier with DH helping her.

I work 9-330 nursery hours, DH works longer but sees her every morning, most evenings and most times at weekends we are the 3 of us together.

Any tips wise MNers???!!

Ask her to show daddy how to do things, get her to take the lead, confide in her that daddy needs teaching.

And start being unavailable, trust DH to survive leave them to it, they need to build their relationship, without you any where near.

My 2 yr old is the same. So was her older sister at the same age. Dh has learned not to be offended. Ds2 is much better when I'm not around but she can be very hard work for dh (and me for that matter). No real advice other than to say they grow out of it. Dd2's current favourite saying is 'my mummy', with emphasis on the my, preferably in hearing of her older sister.

Like quote says you have give them space and time together. My DH and DD had this phase at a similar age. Sometimes I'd just do it but equally, sometimes I'd disappear and he'd just get on.

It does pass though.

Thank you for your replies Quote, Crumpet and Lady.

Apologies for being an unresponsive OP! I went for dinner with a friend, leaving DH to it and all that, and my phone wouldn't post my replies.

Thank you for telling me that this phase will pass, that is what I've been banking on.

Otherwise I can't really see how I can influence the situation much. I was away for 5 days with work 2 weeks ago and then last week nursery wss closed so she was with me full time and both weekends after were the same, so I can't really pin it to her seeing a lot or little of me.

She's fine with DH when I'm out, like tonight, it is just when the 3 of us are together. Sigh, ok it will pass.

Quote I will also try your suggestion of setting up specific things for DD to do with DH. Thank you.

My DS (3.9) went through a phase of the "nooo Mummy do iiiiiiit!" which is hopefully coming to an end! I found the best way to deal with it (often happened at bedtime) was to give him a quick kiss and say 'mummy's got some jobs to do downstairs, so daddy's going to help you get changed/give you a bath/read a story" and then get the hell out of the room and leave them to it. 9 times out of ten he was totally fine with that and would happily chatter away to DH as if he'd never objected in the first place! Was hard going for DH at times though. It's hard not to feel hurt!