11 year old son saying he is fat

[Iamblossom]

Hi. Wondered if you had any pearls of wisdom for me.

My son is 11, and not remotely overweight. He is very active, obsessed with football etc. He has recently said on a number of occasions "Mum I'm so fat look at my tummy" whilst gripping the puppy fat on his stomach.

I have responded by saying, no you aren't, you are just right, of course you are not fat, please don't worry, and it has gradually developed into me becoming a bit frustrated with him and saying don't be silly, you are being ridiculous, everyone has skin on their stomach etc etc.

My frustration is rooted in real worry that he will take this anxiety further, I am well aware that boys have body image issues too and can develop eating disorders, I have had one myself and would be devastated if my son suffered in this way, particularly if I made it worse by handling this situation in the wrong way.

Any suggestions as to ways to approach the issue?

TIA

Could you take him to the GP? They could calculate his bmi and talk to him about him body image.

If you weighed and measured him, and put the results into the NHS bmi calculator, do you think he would accept that he's within the healthy range? Would that be a good starting point - his worries might lessen simply by knowing he IS a healthy weight.

Eleven year olds shouldn't really have fat rolls - is that what you're describing? Or is he gripping the sort of rolls we all tend to get when we hunch over? When he's standing up straight, how slim does he look?

My darling boy, if there was nothing there then how on earth would you have enough to grow taller?

Does he have puppy fat on his stomach?

Have a look at the growth charts and plot him on there, then you should be able to set his mind at rest.

he is gripping the flesh on his stomach we all have when we hunch over.

He looks slim. He is not overweight at all.

I will do that BMI thing next time he says it, that is a good idea. (although I personally think the BMI calculation is misleading as it does not take build in to account so I hope that does not back fire.)