lonely mumma needs a friend

[Chrissielouise27]

Basically I've moved up the country to a new town and struggling to meet people, other half works during the week, my 6 year old goes to school and I'm home all day with my nearly 2 year old, I suffer with anxiety and depression, causing unnecessary loneliness, what's your thoughts on how to find and meet new people?

Hello - I didn't want to read and run - have you looked into any local Sure Start Childrens Centers? I haven't had much personal experience with them yet but they have been recommended as a good place to start meeting new people especially with a little one. As I know will be moving to a new area myself about a month after my baby is due I am worried about becoming a bit isolated while DP works during the week so will be checking out my local one for sure when the time comes!

I've been up here like six months and a few weeks before Christmas I summoned up enough courage to get myself and lo on a bus and go to a children's centre and now we go for an hour each Thursday morning so I'm trying, even that's hard for me.. But lots of people that live where I am say that it's hard to make friends because the people up here are very closed off and don't really play ball when I try speaking to them, I feel like I'm on another planet sometimes, I just want to cry in front of people and tell them how much I need a friend, I've not had friends for years and I'm getting really desperate now :(

Poor you! Have you tried MN local - there might be opportunities to meet up with other MNers.

How about organising playdates for your older child, and mixing with the parents at kids parties?

Lastly, if you're so inclined, how about your local church?

Well done for sticking with going on a Thursday morning! Are there other times in the week where different events/activities occur that you could get to as well? - this might just give you the opportunity to meet different people you may find someone that you click with more? Lots of different personality types out there and there are bound to be some not so closed off. Talk to the staff at the center too - let them know that you are looking to makes some friends I'm sure they will be very understanding - there will be other people who go that are looking for the same thing but your paths might just not haven't crossed yet and the staff may have some suggestions of the best activities to come along for.

I don't have much personal experience with anxiety/depression but you will absolutely not be the only one who feels like this! The though of moving and going somewhere full of people I don't know makes me really nervous so I really can't imagine how hard it must be for you and to have felt like this for so long! Are you getting support eg. GP for the Anxiety/Depression?

I know how you feel op. I find it so hard to talk to people and introduce myself and make friends. But you do have to really try. Keep trying!/it won't happen overnight and you won't get on with absolutely everyone - and that's OK - but just keep putting yourself forward at groups, even if it doesn't feel like you at all! It will come but you do have to put the effort in. I've moved around a lot!!

Good luck. I hope it works out for you x

There's a website called mummy social that helps you find other mums in your area and arrange meeting up.
I moved to a new area just over a year ago and I know how hard it is. I get so anxious going out to groups and talking to people.
What area are you in?

Thank you all for your advice, I'll keep trying, I know I'm a strong person and I'll get through this, I just struggle to see the end of this horrible lonely feeling, every friend I've ever had had only ever known me for what I let them know, I feel like nobody's ever just accepted the real me and it breaks my heart, because I lead such a boring life (my kids are the only thing that lighten my life, they are not boring) l don't have anything to share or talk about, I only really think about how low I feel and end up giving people a fake interpretation of who I really am and then I can't keep it up, you know, like pretending you're ok when you know you're not.. Sorry I'm rambling.. But I'll try the local mummy's thing see how that works out :)

And as for doctors and health professionals about anxiety and depression, where I loved before I had loads of support, I had my medication balanced for a while and things were fine but then I fell for my littlest one and stopped taking the tablets, then I moved up here and the medical network around me is really not there.. I'm in Lincolnshire, little town called long Sutton

Just remember lots of people feel exactly the same way as you! They are just nervous too and worried they are boring others - I know I am! But they will never say anything either.

Do try and seek some medical help as well, things can get better.