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Support thread for mums returning to work after maternity leave

26 replies

pregnantgrump · 04/01/2016 18:14

I'm returning to work in February. I'm the first of my NCT gang and my sisters took many years off when kids were small. Mum went back after a year but I was looked after by gran. My little one will be at home with dad until April then at nursery. I'm going back full time.
Trying to sort out stuff now eg stash of expressed milk and some meals, routine in place, transition from me to DH as primary carer, logistics once back at work. Also feeling desperately desperately sad at the thought of leaving my little cherub. (No there is no choice financially). I'm looking for a friendly bunch in a similar position for mutual support. Anyone keen?

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Original poster
pregnantgrump · 04/01/2016 18:14

Should add baby is six months old.

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HariboFrenzy · 04/01/2016 18:17

I will join you! Not going back until Easter but doing 9 keeping in touch days between now and then. Feeling anxious already

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pregnantgrump · 04/01/2016 18:36

Hurrah and welcome. How old is your little one?

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HariboFrenzy · 04/01/2016 20:59

7 months. It really has flown by!

Ughnotagain · 04/01/2016 21:03

I went back at the start of Dec. This week is my first week of doing "normal" hours (30 over 4 days - dropped from 35). Up to now I've been doing either 2 or 3 days a week so I'm thinking it'll be a shock to the system! My little one is 7 months.

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pregnantgrump · 04/01/2016 22:38

Welcome! How is it going?

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Tottyandmarchpane1 · 04/01/2016 22:45

I'm going back full time on Wednesday and my DS will be 6 months. He is my third and he's going to the same nursery that my other two went to and loved and I am still feeling sad and anxious about leaving him! Would love another 6 months off but can't afford to!

munkisocks · 04/01/2016 22:50

Same here. Going back February and dd will have just turned 7 months then. She will go to my mils for 2 days and my mums for 3 as they both work two days each and are excited to have her. I'm trying to get her into an early waking routine as I'll have to drop her off early. I'll be going back full time but managed to change my hours slightly so I finish an hour early but not cutting down hours. A bit upset that I might miss milestones with her whilst at work.

Ughnotagain · 05/01/2016 12:54

Not going too badly thank you, though today is my first "long" day and it's definitely dragging! Getting up at 6 this morning and leaving DH and DD in bed was definitely a wrench.

Original poster
pregnantgrump · 05/01/2016 19:53

Sounds tough. I have these irrational worries that my little one will suffer and change from the sunny person he is to a sad little thing. I also worry he'll forget me, or not forgive me for leaving him, because I can't explain why it's necessary.

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Wrigglytummy · 08/01/2016 20:39

Can I join, my son is 10 weeks, I'm going back to full time after Easter & dreading it. He is my 3rd but the other 2 are over 7yrs.
My DH is taking 6 moths paternity leave which will be amazing, but I'm already dreading handing over the reins (control freak).

TrashPanda · 08/01/2016 20:47

I started back on Monday and will be doing 9 days a fortnight. Was hoping to get some sort of routine established this week but 6yo threw a spanner in the works by being ill! Thankfully DP could stay home yesterday and grandparent did today. 9mo still went to nursery and seems to be settling in well, happy to see me at pick up but goes in no problem and is fine while there. Hardest part has been feeding, as he won't take a bottle so have moved to morning and evening only and he has food and water during the day.

Original poster
pregnantgrump · 07/02/2016 20:21

How is everyone doing? I'm returning to work this week. My little one is home with his dad for the next couple of months and I think that decreases the anxiety a bit. Thus far he seems happy as a clam when I leave and return and according to his dad there are no tears when I'm away.

I on the other hand am feeling so terribly sad that this magical time is over.

Have been away for a morning or two to go to work meetings. Missed him so much and breasts very uncomfortable. I have oversupply so become engorged if I miss one feed. Not really feasible to pump properly in my job so have bought a manual one so I can hide in the loo at lunch time if in agony.

Also a bit concerned about the sleep deprivation he still wakes two hourly for feeds at night.

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TinyTear · 29/03/2016 13:53

HI can I join
I went back to work on the 15th Feb, my DD is 1 this week...
she likes nursery but i fear we started too late at 10 months in peak separation anxiety time so it took her longer to settle than her sister (who was 8 months when I went back)

how is your pumping going?

i do a quick manual pump at lunch to relieve pressure but it is holding on fine with morning, pick up, bedtime and overnight feeds

ProseccoPoppy · 11/04/2016 08:16

May I join you ladies please? I'm now back full time (like pp we really need me to be full time from a financial PoV), baby is almost 6 months. DH is definitely off with her for another 3 months but will probably (we're juggling finances) become a full time SAHD. She's going to be fantastically well looked after and having a lovely time with her dad, and I do really enjoy my job but I'm gutted to think that I'll barely see her all week. How are you all managing? Any tips?

Tiny I'm pumping at work too (electric for me, didn't get on with a manual). So far (and it's really early days) so good... grump that's a shame that it's not feasible to really pump at your work - is the uncomfortable feeling getting any better?

TinyTear · 11/04/2016 10:00

Yes, much better, some days I last all the way until 3pm when I think "hang on, I should do a quick pump or by 5pm when I am being jostled by the tube it will be really uncomfortable"

ProseccoPoppy · 12/04/2016 07:48

Yay - that's great. Hoping mine does too, as I'm not yet used to it yesterday even with pumping in the middle of the day I had rock solid boobs by the time I got home. Urgh!!

TinyTear · 12/04/2016 08:35

but it's such a relief when they have that 5h30/6pm power feed and power nap...
:-)

emmyhNL · 25/09/2016 19:22

Is this thread still going? I've just returned to work after 6 months and am struggling quite a bit. My daughter was born in March and going back to work has been really hard and I'm wondering if I've made the right choice (or whether I should of stayed at home).

Any advice? How long does it take until it gets better?

Kirkers14 · 25/09/2016 20:06

Hi emmyhNL, I'm here...I start back 4 days a week tomorrow, after 1 year off (DD will be 1 next month). Am struggling with having to leave her in nursery 4 days a week but we haven't any family close by who can help. Have you already done one week?

Threebedsemii · 25/09/2016 20:08

Hi emmy -it gets better. Don't forget -you're being superwoman Flowers

emmyhNL · 25/09/2016 21:18

Hi there :-)

I'm back part time (full days Tues, wed, Thurs). We're 1 day with my in laws and then two days at nursery.

I'm struggling partially with the guilt but also at my own separation issues. I physically hate being away from her. I spent half of last week feeling physically sick and have spent today in mental purgatory thinking about Tuesday.

I know that I need to get myself into a more positive frame of mind that this is good for us both, she's learning a lot.... But I'm struggling with the reality.

Kirkers: do you feel more comfortable to leave your DC now that they're a year? Or is it just as difficult?

Kirkers14 · 26/09/2016 21:18

Honestly, I think a year is just as tough. I mean she's still such a 'baby', crawling well but not walking. Today was my first day and it went 'okay'. My boss and colleagues all seem lovely, but I found it hard to get the same level of satisfaction that I used to. How do you compare 'trivial' tasks (I'm not a doctor or anything) with teaching your child to crawl backwards down the stairs?!

emmyhNL · 26/09/2016 21:35

Well done on your first day. I've heard that it's the hardest!

Yeah, I found myself doing the same. Why do I bother with this trivial crap when I could be cuddling my daughter / playing with her/ teaching her things?

My day is tomorrow. I've so far had an attitude and been generally mopey all day. I just love being around her (even when she screams blue murder for being put down!)

1sttimemama1986 · 10/01/2017 20:00

Hi everyone, I'd like to join in too!!

My lo will be 8 months when I return to work full time in February. Feel very sad most days thinking how little time I have left with my baby boy. DP will be part time, again same as op no choice as financially is a must.

Feels anxious and sad. Worried about feeling resentful toward DP who honestly is amazing and so much looking forward to time with our boy. I should be grateful to have had the time so far. Some people have less time off I guess.

OP how has your week been? I've just ended our bf journey due to oversupply and missing odd feeds leading to many issues. Mastitis about 4 times in 7 months. Eurgh. Maybe my mood is affected by hormone change since stopping breastfeeding.

Also bit tricky and please understand, my job is a social worker and the thought of being responsible to potentially intervene at the highest level like remove a child from parents care is freaking me out. It will go one of two ways 1) now I am a mum I will have more empathy and find such decisions harder to make with significant emotional impact or 2) I will have much less tolerance for parents who harm / or do not prioritise their children's needs as my boy is my world.

Wow, so needed this thread. Soz for offload. Bit heavy 🙁