Relationship with 9 year old daughter

[MC15Pat]

Hi,

I would like a bit of advice. My daughter and I seem to be going through a difficult patch at the mo and would like to hear your experiences.

Since the birth of our second baby, who is now 2, and with the age gap between them 2, my attention drifted to baby and it is affecting my relationship w daughter. I am struggling to find common grounds to re establish a healthy relationship w her, as I feel she is constantly frustrated w me, and we always end up arguing. Any advice would be much appreciated. Any good books you can reccoment i could read?

Thank you all for your time. This is such a crucial time for her so I really want to make a difference!

Place marking as I have a very moody 8yo at the moment!

My eldest is 9. I try to spend time with her away from her 2 younger siblings so she has my undivided attention.

Normally we go on what she describes as a 'girlie' day - basically shopping, lunch of her choice, cinema, nails done etc.

Dd (10) have set things we do together without her siblings eg she reads to me every night, we go to wildlife club together at the local park and I take her skating.

I do things seperately with each of my daughters. I have 3 - a 10, 8 and 4 year old. My eldest likes to just hang about, sort out clothes, change her room about, go shopping (even grocery shopping) etc. She also is starting to be more independent - she sees her friends, goes out on her bike, goes to the shop etc. I try to "let" her do something new every few months.

I've also found that letting her be on her own, read/play/watch a film in her room has worked out really well, sometimes she just can't be bothered with us and just wants to be left alone. I stay away from anything that implies family enforced fun.