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Parenting

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Original poster

Alcohol and Babies

17 replies

unimaginativename13 · 21/12/2015 14:42

What's the deal here....

We are first time parents and have a 10 week old baby.

I've been saving myself up for full alcohol consumption all year due to being pregnant --apart from the wine I've found to be essential in the last 10 weeks.

What do people do with babies? We are going away from Xmas Eve to the 29th with family and baby will obvs be in our room.

Do partners take it in turns to drink etc? I've realised I'm not going to be able to get sloshed but feel like I'm now entitled to some hard spirits over the festive season.

OP posts:

Gillian1980 · 21/12/2015 15:49

If you want to get properly drunk then I'd say you need one sober parent.

If you just want one glass of wine or whatever and therefore won't be drunk and unable to parent then I think the other person can also drink.

Just My personal view. I'll have one cider if my husband has had 4 or 5 drinks, but I'm not much of a drinker so happy to stop at that. Perhaps agree with your dh to take turns?

Original poster

unimaginativename13 · 21/12/2015 15:57

Thanks for the reply.

If I bring it up he says neither of us should drink (or if he can't I should either is what he means)

I kinda feel I deserve to a bit more and he should offer to let me drink to make up for all the times he got wankered while I was pregnant.

I don't like to get extremely pissed but would like to venture passed a glass of rose.

OP posts:

PennyHasNoSurname · 21/12/2015 16:01

Id just agree that while away each of you get one night "off duty" from say 6pm to 10am. So the night you are On Duty he canhave a few drinks / get pissed. Them same for you on your night. With each of you getting those few hours in the morning to pull yourself round/get refreshed.

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Headmelt · 21/12/2015 16:11

Realistically with a 10 week old baby, you need someone who is sober to look after the baby. It wouldn't be very pleasant to have to cope with a hangover and a small baby at the same time. I think it is fair to alternate nights. One can have 1-2 drinks and the other can get drunk if they want and vice versa the following night.

Original poster

unimaginativename13 · 21/12/2015 16:16

DS isn't very demanding, 1 maybe 2 night feeds and plenty of family around who would be offering to watch him or take him in the mornings.

I haven't left him or done anything exciting for 10 weeks so I'm feeling a bit anxious about letting my hair down a bit and allowing family to step in.

OP posts:

JasperDamerel · 21/12/2015 16:19

I used to drink at lunchtime instead of in the evening if I wanted alcohol.

ffffffedup · 21/12/2015 16:22

You've had 9 months of no drinking it's Dad's turn to stay sober when you want a drink or if you both want a drink see if your mum dad brother sister could have a sober night to look after baby.
Enjoy your xmas and a well deserved drink cheers!

midnightsunshine · 21/12/2015 16:26

I never have more than 2units and I'm guessing it will be this way until my baby's about 12months (he's 3months now). I don't like wine so I have vodka instead (a single shot mixed with juice). I'm BF so I use expressed milk for 6hours after a drink (I know many people drink 2units and BF but I'm a bit cautious).
My DH drinks as much as he likes but I wouldn't let him help with the baby if he seemed tipsy. I feel looking after the baby is my role, I do most feeds, bedtime routine etc so heavy drinking isn't compatible with that. I agree with pp saying baby needs at least 1sober parent. And looking after a baby with a hangover would be awful!

If your DH is prepared to take turns (including looking after baby the morning after) I'd say there's no harm in it, but if he's going to drink too you need to stay sober. I know it's frustrating but it's not forever. Or you could get a babysitter?

Artandco · 21/12/2015 16:31

We just both never drink excessively. Never had done before children either. Having 2 glasses of wine or some mulled wine is going to be fine

Original poster

unimaginativename13 · 21/12/2015 16:48

Thanks for the input!

At the moment I do everything - all the night feeds, DH spends most nights in the spare room.

I feel like anything more than 1 would be drunk in charge of a baby. So I mean I would have 3/4 earlier on during the day and let DH take control at night.

OP posts:

PennyHasNoSurname · 21/12/2015 18:19

Does your DH do some night wakings when he is off the next day? Personally id expect to be able to get one or two full nights sleep a week (in the spare room if needs be) if he is having the rest in order to be well rested for work.

Original poster

unimaginativename13 · 21/12/2015 19:54

Nope! Because his day off is his only opportunity for a lay in with not interruptions.

He is getting better at it. It's hard because I see where he is coming from as he has to be up at 4.30am. But on the other hand I know so many people who's partners still help. I want him to want to do stuff I don't want to nag him as then he does it all in a huffy way.

He's home by 5 so I get use out of him in other ways bedtime etc

OP posts:

Artandco · 21/12/2015 19:57

Why can't he help at night? Dh and I were both back to work when kids were 3 months old. We both still managed to get up and feed/ change them as needed

Original poster

unimaginativename13 · 21/12/2015 20:04

Because I'm not working and he is, to be honest we only do one night feed. Sometimes there's a second which usually is when he gets up for work so brings me in a bottle.

When he gets home from work he does a feed then another feed at bedtime (not quite got confidence for bathtime yet).

If I was constantly getting up I would have more to say, and if that does happen then I said I'll need help but at the moment I can manage one feed. I do a quick nappy change and have a perfect prep machine so it's ok.

( before anyone jumps on me - I know- it should be shared)

OP posts:

DangerMouth · 21/12/2015 20:10

Dh and l both drink but I'd have 1 or 2 glasses of red and he can drink as much as he likes. We're on dc2 and it's just worked well for us this way.

When they're older and we leave them with GP l might have 4 or 5 glasses and go nuts

Dd2 is 13 weeks so a long way off being able to go nuts unfortunately

NickyEds · 21/12/2015 21:43

We have a 2 year old and a 5 month old, dp's not much of a drinker but if he does then I don't and vice versa. Dp is really good at taking over to let me have a drink though!

skankingpiglet · 22/12/2015 14:27

After DD, for the first year, DH gave me first dibs on getting to drink at social events as he had had that privilege for the pregnancy. I didn't take him up on it for the first couple of months as I was breastfeeding, and she was wanting a feed fairly frequently meaning it was difficult to time 'proper' drinking and feeding, which is why I got the offer for a year I think. Hoping he'll do the same this time!
I agree that either you can both drink moderately, or one can get drunk and the other only have one. Really you should get preference on which events you can drink at, at the very least, if he's insistent on taking turns.

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