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Parenting

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Original poster

OK I know it's quite an individual situation thing but please place a vote for the best age gep in children!

84 replies

bramblina · 14/12/2006 21:05

From your experience- do you have what you consider to be the best gap? Or if you could tweak it a little, what would you have? Dh and I would like a 2yr and-a-bit gap between ds and the next but it's going to make no2 a christmas baby so I'm thinking...perhaps a little too hard...that we should leave it a little, to spring, making a 2 3/4 gap...hmmm

Anyone care to add something? Please?!

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twickersmum · 17/12/2006 21:13

reading this thread gives me hope.
i have a 19 month gap, dd1 is 3 in Feb, dd2 is 14 months. it is just starting to get easier... maybe it wasn't so bad after all but the last year has been HARD!
DD2 crawling whilst potty training DD1 (yes, i did find her splashing in a puddle once )
both in nappies
both having (different) daytime sleeps

thankfully DD1 was in nursery some days!

exbury · 17/12/2006 23:34

Looking at these posts, lots of people seem (like me) to be influenced by the gap between themselves and siblings. My brother is 19 months older than me and I always felt I got a raw deal - not from parents, just that we were close enough in age to want to do the same things and far enough apart that he generally did them better than me, and ground my nose in it relentlessly until I gave up... I now have 2 with a 4 year age gap, and it was a deliberate decision not to have them closer together. So far so good, but DD is only 9 weeks, so plenty of time yet for the problems to emerge!

Sakura · 18/12/2006 05:26

I think it depends how many children you want. Say, if you want 2 kids, then a smaller gap would be good. Then you get the hard part over and done with, even though its very hard at that time.
BUt if you want 3-4 kids, I think its better to pace yourself more, because having babies is so stressful for your body, and I read that it takes about 18 months for your body to recover properly, and replenish its iron stores. If you`ve been breastfeeding, you need to replenish your calcium in your body too, so 18 months is too small a gap if you want to go on to have another couple of kids.

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PetitFilou1 · 18/12/2006 13:06

19 months is very hard for the first year but fine after that and they play together quickly
With hindsight I think 3 years would be good (and may aim for this for third) as first (or second in my case) would probably be potty trained (and reliable), out of the terrible twos, and going to nursery some of the time!

Pitchounette · 18/12/2006 13:29

Message withdrawn

WeWishUAMerryXmasNANappyNewYr · 20/12/2006 01:43

well my friend thinks she has an 11 month gap between current lo and baby to be. she is petrified to say the least!i keep reassuring her it will be okay but i am just praying that it will cos i really have no idea.

boo64 · 01/01/2007 22:04

Erm I don't want to sound like I have sour grapes but it took me over 2 years to conceive ds1 so feel a little jealous of those of you who get a choice.

I have several friends who conceived first children quickly and easy and are now struggling to concieve number 2.

All I'm trying to say is don't set your heart on a specific age difference as it might not work out that way anyway...
As someone on here already said the only thing you definitely have set in stone is the minimum age gap!

Fwiw I have 1 db 2 years older and another 4.5 yrs older. As kids we all played together when we were little but as teenagers it was tougher as the dbs used to get more freedoms than me and I found it frustrating to be stuck at home with the parents! now though it's all irrelevant and we are great friends and the age differences are insignificant

Judy1234 · 01/01/2007 22:24

My twins is the nicest as they are same age and do the same things. They make huge play out of the fact they were born 7 hours apart though and - this is my younger brother kind of thing.

willandsamsmum · 01/01/2007 22:28

There is 20 months between my two boys. It was tricky at the beginning especially at bedtime but the nappy thing was never an issue as I usually just changed them at the same time.

They get on very well (and fight very well too like boys tend to!) and there has never been any jealousy from DS1. DS1 is DS2's biggest defender (can't tell DS2 off for anything without big brother putting his oar in) and closest companion.

There is only 15 months between me and sister no1, 25 months between sis 1 and sis 2 and 38 months between sis 2 and baby brother and we are all very close (bloody hard work for my mum though!)

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