Will getting a diagnosis of ASD in my 10 yr old DS really help or is it just a label?

[DrDooRatheraLot]

Hi
My DS has always had certain quirks about him from as early as three months that, as his mother, I picked up on but never had thoroughly assessed for a long list of reasons: Sceptical dad, discouragement by family, general mildness of symptoms compared to severe cases, good academic achievement of child and moving to a foreign country when he was 13m old which makes it hard to find the right help, esp when you don't initially speak the language well!
We've just accepted that we have a particularly negative, non-communicative, disengaged child who is constantly challenging and frequently hard to live with.
I think it's time to woman-up and follow my maternal instincts that tell me he is NOT entirely normal and take this into my own hands sans DH's support. Problem is, I'm not all that sure who to turn to and, if I do actually get told he is on the ASD spectrum, what then?
Who deals with this usually? Psychologist/ paediatrician / psychiatrist?? Is there really much you can do to improve things?
Thanks for any help or hints.....

Anybody out therrrrrrrrrrrrrre??

Can't help you with any practical advice on how to go about getting an assessment- although probably starting with the GP? But I was in a relationship with a man in his mid 30s who was pretty certain that he had ASD (and after spending a lot of time with him, there were definitely an awful lot of traits there), but he had never been assessed/diagnosed and therefore never had any support to either come to terms with, understand or cope with it. He very much had the mindset of; there's something wrong with me/I'm not normal/it can't be fixed so there's no point trying. But he was so achingly lonely and wished he could cope in social situations better and suffered frequent extreme anxiety. I can't help but wonder if he'd been diagnosed as a child and grown up having a better understanding of himself and help and support with how to navigate society he might have been a happier adult, more accepting of himself with better coping strategies. Just one point of view.

if you are in the UK, start with the GP. you could also ask school for advice.

does your child need specific support in school / out of school etc? one of the main benefits of getting a diagnosis is getting access to the right support.

But for some adults with ASD who are coping fine, there is no need for a diagnosis if they don't want to change anything.

Which country are you?

I find that a proper assesment is helpful, not "just a label" as there is help out there (at school, books, etc.)

What does his teacher say? Does the school have a senco? I'd start at school

Hi again
Thanks for feedback!
We are in Spain. He's in a class of 30 - fairly good semi private school - but because he is bright and is not disruptive in general, teachers don't really pick much up. He doesn't get much attention from teaching staff as he isn't much of a class participant so I think they wouldn't notice anything and just think he is shy or quiet. (Soooo not the case at home!)
I guess the GP is the place to start. I guess I've been quite wary of falling into the hands of a bad psychologist.... In a bit mistrustful if local professionals in general, but perhaps a referral from somebody in the know would be good

Oops sorry for autocorrect typos there!

Bubs- that's really helpful insight. Although I feel he's a very mild case I often worry so much that he is going to end up unhappy as he does not seem to be able to enjoy experiences like most people- we went to see the Christmas lights in town yesterday and he just wanted to go home..."what? They are just lights!"

Can't OP just look up the strategies for helping people with ASD and try them anyway, in meantime? Why wait for a diagnosis?

Spanish public health system is even more stretched than NHS, I wouldn't expect they can do a lot.

That might be a start, llkjj . Any suggestions of useful websites with hints and support?

I would be finding out more about how the Spanish system (education and health) supports people on the milder end of the spectrum before seeking diagnosis. I understand your mistrust. However, the transition into adolescence can throw up more challenges and if you do feel the support might be helpful, I would seek it sooner rather than later.

Hard to get answers in advance as to how well the system will support or treat him..... Already feel quite let down by the system here in that not a single one of his teachers, carers or doctors has ever picked up on anything! Admittedly, he is more extreme at home, but I'm sure they should have noticed something if they'd actually observed him closely.....and I truly am not making things up.....I sat DH down last night and showed him some of the web pages I've been reading re autism/aspergillosis and for the first time he's in agreement that there is definitely something not right with DS and that he fits a lot of the criteria for ADS
Thanks for your support....Spoke to GP today and I am making an appntmnt with the paediatrician tomorrow.

Oh dear....... Not Aspergillosis! Aspergers!

No, it's difficult to get an idea in advAnce what the support will be. Is there not an autism association type organisation in Spain?
How long to wait r for paediatric appt?