So how do you deal with 'back chat' from a 3yo ?

[99redballoons]

Ds is 3.5 and has become soooo cheeky with his back chat that I don't know whether to reprimand (what I've been doing) or ignore him during these moments. He says things like 'you naughty little girl' (to me) and 'I want to make you die' and 'I'll put you in your room' etc. The usual stuff you'd expect from a 3yo, but it's nearly all the time atm. I try not to get drawn into it, but do say something like 'that's not a very nice thing to say' or whatever, but I'm sure I should be ignoring this. But how do you ignore it when you feel you should let them know it's not something nice?? I'm very confused on how to approach this.

(I know the examples I've given may seem quite lame, but in the heat of it he says things with such meaning (in his little way) that you really see the daggers coming from his eyes!)

I'll be watching this thread with interest, I'm having the same problem here but find myself being sucked into the most ridiculous arguments and end up wondering WHO is the child?!

yes we have had htis wiht ds3
i am stunnbed
ds1 and 2 still dont do it.

we this weekend decided to create a " monet of reference" as dh cals it to create a dayw here we dealt with every transgression.

so he ate some sweets that werent hsi and he went to his room wher we ignroed his wailging.
when he hten came down and behaved badly again ( poo talk - banned) we told him off and when he sadi "no" or some eich and ignroed us off he went again.
Lots of loev and cuddles at teh end fo the day biut YES he rememeb yesterday very well.

Also tryt he " i am nto tlaking abotu x any mroe" and dont

also i think ignorign is too passsive in this intstance

Also watch with interest as my ds is 3.2yrs and recently started to do this. Last week he told me he would put me in time out or he would slap me in a minute....we dont even hit so am assuming he picked that up from playgroup..

Ignore most of it, then every so often raise your voice, do NOT speak to me like that I am your Mummy. I am your Mummy and I should have some respect, I respect you, I (insert things you do to help them) can you not respect me ??

Worked a treat with our DS, finally realised it was going in when another child misbehaved in church and he hissed at me, he is not showing much respect is he Mummy ??

My 3 yr old is saying' yeah whatever' whenever i tell him off, thanks to older brother. I find ignoring it and time out/ apologies help. He is now refusing all food except sausages.....why me.

agree with sherlock
you MUST agree with dh how to deal with it
also at my parents hw woudlnt give granny a kiss goodbye
so he got two vchances then i took a toy off him he had got adn he went home wailing

Right, whatever you do, don't react too much. My ds at this age worked out that 'you're stupid' wound me up and so that was his insult of choice. And he knows (and always has done) that swearing doesn't really bother me so even now, if he's furious, he won't bother swearing. Whereas ex mil once reacted to the f word and so guess what he says to wind HER up?

I'd keep vague, calm 'oh really' and 'oh well, I love you' and that kind of remark but so that it's really not exciting because it doesn't get a reaction. And distract, distract, distract works at this age too ime.

It will pass.

disagreee with the witch
he si THREE i thik he need to eb told there

I don't agree that children should be forced to kiss ANYONE, even grandparents, and so I wouldn't have punished in those circs. But each to their own.

DS2 has spent a large chunkof the day being carted off to his room today...I am geetinng do bored of time out.

Is he at nursery yet?

If so, then 'What would (teacher's name)say if she knew you were speaking to me like that?' usually works!

he was being a rude shit

I have an incredibly charming 9yo now btw. Who knows some shockingly bad language but doesn't bother to use it because it has no currency in this house. But hey, we allow poo talk and all sorts!

My 5yr old has started saying "Yes mammy, I did hear you, I have ears" Or "Yes mammy, I can see, I'm not blind you know"

I ignore, as it's almost always in the car when I am saying "ooh listen, this is that song we like" or "Aww Look, those xmas lights are amazing!!"

Sorry I can't help, mine never used to be this bold until she went to school! Yes,, she had tantrums etc but never cheeky bold.

i find poo tlak so dull
you say to ds3 what did oyu do at niursery

" we did poo poo painting"
oh YAWN

Interesting to read all these different povs though, you know what will work for your child and what you instinctively feel is the right thing to do.

I find that "I beg your pardon ?" in a tone that suggests that you can't believe your ears or if really bad "how dare you !" in a similar tone generally gets ds1 to backtrack somewhat

A friend taught me this and at first I thought it sounded a bit old fashioned sort of victorian parent'ish but it has worked wonders and nipped a lot of stuff in the bud.

(haven't resorted to Catherine Tate's "how very dare you !" yet

When ds was smaller though I'd have answered 'oh really, and did you have wee to drink at breaktime?' which always got lots of (puerile admitedly) laughs

Myds's are obsessed with poo/ bottoms etc. I am a poopoohead. Or stinky mummy.

But I think 'How DARE you?' practically invites them (well, dares them!) to carry on and up the ante. But I had a particularly challenging boy who would def have reacted that way. And I did learn the hard way about reacting in my case.

hmm our bajkchat was terri=bel yesterday
the worst day he has ever been
am sure linked up to eye though

I remeber DS 1 being like this at the same age. I think they are just testing the boundaries. DS1 is now a perfectly charming 6 yr old.