Do you always tell your children the truth?

[MamaG]

The thread about telling your children if you'd taken drugs got me thinking. I have a policy to never lie to my kids and if asked outright, will tell the truth. Yes, even about Santa, sex and drugs

When DD was 3 she had to have a blood test. She asked if it would hurt and as my mother said "no, no" I said "yes, but not for long".

Do YOU always tell your children the truth?

as ds has just turned 2, not always as he doesn't always understand. So for example if something is dangerous, yet he doesn't quite get the idea it will hurt, we would tell him it was 'hot' or 'sharp' as he knows that means to stay away.

Not sure what we'll do when he gets older.

No
I dont out and out lie but i do skirt round an issue if I don't want to answer it. For instance dd is 8 and obviously quite a few children at school have told her Santa isn't real. When she asks I just bamboozle her with questions until she convinces herself that he is real. This technique probably won't work for much longer though and when it gets to that stage then I will be completely honest as i don't want to actually tell her lies.

oh tough one. I'm thinking of your example with the blood test, I mean if you'd cooed "no no darling it won't hurt a bit" then it did, DC would've lost all confidence / trust in you. (BTW I'm not arguing with your answer, you're exactly right, I was just using it so to speak)

However, sometimes I think a little white lie that preserves childhood a bit longer, is fine. By this I mean the fat guy in red, the little fairy tooth collector. etc. Kids grow up so fast it seems a shame to take away anymore innocence from them.

My eldest is only 3, so I agree with was TCA says about the dangerous things. We do always tell the truth, but only when it's needed IYSWIM.

I tell dd the truth about the really important things, or at least the truth as far as she is able to understand and deal with it. With the blood test, I would have dealt with it as you did, and I do think that generally if a child asks a question, they deserve a truthful answer.

I'm with mumatuks on dealing with the fat guy in the red suit and the tooth fairy though - her belief in both is magical, and I don't think that the bare-faced truth is necessary there just at the moment.

I remember the first xmas after my mum had finally admitted that he wasn't real and all the magic was gone for me I had known deep down it was unlikely for a while but I wanted to believe. Mind you I think I was about 12

Not always no. But then I don't always tell the full truth to all adults either - white lies to spare people's feelings I am happy to tell.

As for DD - important things then yes, she will be told as much of the truth as she needs to know, using my own judgement. I don't actually tell a lie as such, but I will skirt issues and turn the subject around sometimes to DD herself, rather than say the out and out truth. IME I don't thin children always need or really want to know the full, honest truth.

Regards the blood test thing - then yes, when DD had her pre school injections I did say it would sting a bit, but it was important to have them and it'd stop hurting really fast. She'd seen my have blood tests so kind of knew anyway.

As for Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy - I haven't actually ever said that xxx is what definite happens, but she knows the stories and the magic, and at present she thinks it is all for real. I am not going to destroy that for her, She gets pleasure from believing. If and when she asks - I will turn the question around and ask her what she believes.