What everyday things did you have to rename because of your kids?

[dodi1978]

DS, 26 months looooves chocolate croissants and chips a bit too much.

We can't talk about either without him going begging... I bet the food stool I bought for him to reach the sink will soon be repurposed to reach the kitchen counter and the chocolate croissants (we buy the pre.packaged ones from the supermarket).

Anyway, I digress...

When DH and I talk about said items, croissants are now "French patisserie". Chips are "potato products".

Any other examples?

We have 3 year old twins. If we are taking about them and don't want them to cotton on they are referred to them as "the blonde" and "the brunette"

We spell lots of things - mostly foodstuffs. When we have guests and spell out "would you like a b-I-s-c-u-I-t?" We get some funny looks!

But we should probably rename the shit drawer... (Place for random shit)

My DS is only 19 months but I have to spell out MILK otherwise he would be begging at my feet. I swear I need a cow in the garden the amount we get through...

S-N-A-C-K time,
Vanilla sauce (custard)
Brown vanilla sauce (chocolate sauce)
Round dinner (pizza)
Or use sign language (we know a little BSL).

Friends of ours have lived abroad and use french/german sometimes.

Dried vine fruits for raisins (baby smack!)

We used to use a random other name (let's say it was Cedric) for dd so we could yr as talk about her without her realising. She was smarter than we gave her credit for, and one day piped up "I don't like it when you call me Cedric!"

Oops, sorry about the typos.

I have used French, particularly when talking to my DM. Then DS learned enough French to cotton on, damn him. Next resort is German but my vocabulary is very limited so a lot is inferred...

We cannot ever use the terms tomato sauce or ketchup. It is, in this house, referred to as "red mustard," because DS3 wants to have mustard like Daddy but doesn't like it so we got him his own special red stuff, because red is his favourite colour.

Crooked yellow fruit and Italian disc (ie pizza) are the ones we use most frequently!

Cold licky things = ice cream
The Irish girl = his cousin and bff (just in cases where we're whatsapping Sil and trying to meet up, but might fail in the end, he gets v whiney!)
Salty potato snacks = crisps
Brown delights = chocolate
Schnapps = apple juice
The grassy knoll = park
The wet place = beach
Tefal Man = assface (Bil)

I could go on! Please don't let me

We can't say the word bath infront of our Ds, he runs to the bathroom and strips off at the mention of it... The kiddo loves his baths lol.

Not exactly the same but some mnetters call Greggs 'the bakery' so their dcs don't show them up by wining to go to Greggs.
--not the same at all but I call Gails (stupidly expensive v posh bakery) and I once really upset a Mum who'd taken my dd to Gourmet Burger Kitchen by confusing it with Burger King.

Tsk. I call Gails Greggs.

The baby doll is referred to as petite enfant if we don't know where it is, as otherwise dd will mournfully say 'baby baby?' And look around anxiously. If we can't locate it within 15 seconds she'll be crying, despite having no interest in it until we said the word.

Dd was obsessed with the iPad around 18mo. Dh started calling it the i-device and it has stuck

Spring onions were "Chinese chives" in our house for a long time because DS1 wouldn't have eaten them if he'd known they were called onions.

Ha neversleep, we have Twin no.1 and Twin no.2 code in this house.

We spell out a lot of words to keep 3 yo DD from demanding things.

If we want to refer to any contraband-
Chocolate
Crisps
Wine
We can all of it "secret chicken" and this is also where we refer to where said items are kept. This is stems Forman old friend whose dad used to hide the key in a ceramic chicken out the back door.

The dummy is "the reindeer" because otherwise I'll have insistent begging. And Peppa Pig is "that creature". As in, "don't mention that creature or DD will scream to watch TV".

Hair cleaning - hair wash
Body cleaning - wash your body
Binky - dummy

Think that's all..

DD adores a bath so we have to call it "aqueous cleansing" if we are discussing whether she has time before bed.

The park is the place with reciprocating motion (swings) and swimming is la piscine.

"Up the road" is granny's house. TBH I don't know why we bother. She is 3.5 and has totally cracked the code

Ice cream is gelato and the park is the death trap...