thread24745

[bootsmonkey]

OK - this is something that has been preying on my mind for a while now and I just wondered what other people think.

I have a friend (from pre-children days) who is always having a little go because I no longer drink the night away with her. DH, DD and I will go over for BBQ's during the day and he will have beer or 3, but I always drive as otherwise v. diff to get to, and we leave in time to get DD to bed. She has 3 kids and has always taken them out with her to parties as she does not think having kids should change her lifestyle. That is fair enough - her life, her choice - but I don't see why I am the anal, uptight one because I don't share her POV.

We still go out for girls nights out and generally have a good time, but I never really let rip as I cannot do with the hangovers these days. I rarely get proper drunk anymore - only when away from home for the night (RARE)

Two things stick in my memory - her 18mth old daughter tugging at her arm in the early hours when she was passed out on the sofa at a party, with 6 week old son in car seat next to her and telling her 4 year old son that he couldn't go to bed at 11.30pm because it was a PARTY. When I had my DD I decided that this wasn't the way I wanted things to be for me.

Is it just me or am I a boring old fart these days?? I still like a drink or two and don't have any major probs with having a drink in front of DD, but feel my priorities have changed.

I think I will come out as an old bore now, but I am appalled at your friend's behaviour.

How can you get totally wasted when you have a 6-week old??????

I hope she had someone else to look after them if there was an emergency.....

As you say I couldn't get drunk with children in thou house and not only because I need to be sober for them (just in case), but also because I wouldn't be able to function the next day with a hangover.

i think she's beeing v. irresponsible and immature.

But that's my opinion (and I know it is quite extreme, but I can't stand this sort of behaviour!)

I agree. Pretty irresponsible behaviour from your friend. I am the same as you - used to drink the night away but just can't do it any more. Also don't really want to unless I know someone else is taking responsibility for DS.

Only time I got really drunk after he was born (about 5 months old), he'd gone to bed at our friends house at normal time and DP had passed out upstairs an hour later (was a bit knackered and had had too much too soon) so I knew by the time DS woke up DP would have been able to see to him!

have to agree with everyone else think your friend is irreesponsible and i would question how much you have in common anymore, perhaps you have just moved on to a different place whilst she appears to want to stay in the same place albiet she is a mum. Hope you work it out but definetly you are the right one and it sounds like her children are gonna suffer!!