Can someone help with my 21 month old fussy eater?

[Hegoethdown]

Really need some advice on how to tackle my 21 month old's eating habits.
He's never been a great eater. Had a tongue tie snipped at 4.5 months and afterwards seemed to develop a phobia of bottles. Weaning was slow, very up and down. He has never really enjoyed his food like some babies do. He was also prem, only 3lbs 3 and has been around 7-9th centile ever since.
He goes to nursery 2 days a week and eats well- he has things like pasta, fish cakes and veg, soup, vegetable bake etc. At home though, all he will eat at the moment is porridge, weetabix, yoghurt, fruit pots/ Ella's smoothie type things, and bread sticks. On a good day he'll have a sandwich with cream cheese and avocado, tuna or hummus.
He has had phases of reasonable eating at home in the past but this current fussiness has gone on ages.
Everyday I give him a proper cooked tea- spag Bol, tuna pasta bake macaroni cheese etc (the sort of thing he has at nursery) and everyday he says no, cries, asks for weetabix. And of course I end up giving him weetabix because I don't want him to go to bed hungry. I also think he's a bit young at 21m to understand that he eats what he's given and that's it.
I think I'm really anxious about his eating because of the early issues we had with him. I know this will not help matters! I hate this rut we're in and feel like I'm letting my son down because his diet's so crap.
So can anyone help me to formulate a plan/ give me any reassurance/ advice?

In the past I would have worried myself sick over this too. Now, I wouldn't. He is eating well at nursery, so I would do this. Cook food that's for everyone. If he doesn't want it at dinner time, and he's been offered the plate, I would give him the weetabix. I've heard over and over about dcs who only ate grated carrot and Yorkshire pudding, or cheese sarnies. They grow out of it.

Bottom line, food is power, and it's a battle you can't win by force. So just let him get on with it. Eventually, he will start to try other foods, particularly if he feels zero pressure from you.

My eldest is 19. He was a good eater, but wouldn't have tomatoes, tuna fish, mash and various other slightly awkward things. He now eats anything. My younger two are ten, and they breastfed exclusively til they were eleven months, and then just ate what they wanted from the family table. They were picky about different things, but as they've grown are willing to give anything new a go, because there's no pressure from me, and if they don't like it, they help themselves to something else. It doesn't happen much.

I promise he won't want to live on weetabix forever.

Agree with trashcan. Dd went through phases of eating pretty much only one food at a time, weeks on end of her refusing to eat almost anything but pasta, or cheese, or strawberries. And wouldn't touch any dairy but strongish flavoured cheese (bf till 6mnths when she turned her nose up at that) didn't eat green veg between the blended in phase and 5yrs, didn't like much meat and no fish. But once she got to 3 the food phases had passed. when we moved on to different food mustn't touch and not eating anything presented correctly. From reception age she's been fine, still hates dairy except good cheese and funny about some meat. But will try anything. Otherwise eats anything that stays still long enough. Like me