What childcare?

[Kent1982]

Hi all I'm starting to think about going back to work in a couple of month. The thought of leaving baby at a nursery is filling me with dread. I just have visions of him being left in a cot all day. What do they do with the babies all day. Please give me your honest experiences good and bad.

I do have the option to leave him with granny but I worry that it's asking far too much of her as a long term option. I was thinking 1 day at nursery and 2 days granny or the other way round. That's if they will let me go part time. If they don't then it will be 3 days at nursery and 2 days granny.

My OH says baby must go nursery or he will not be socialised properly. I'm not believing this as I take him to lots of groups and granny will too. Any experiences are much welcomed

Hi. Have you thought of contacting your local nurseries and asking for a tour? I have found that they are all more than willing to let you look round during their normal working day.

Yes go and have a look round a few local nurseries or consider a childminder so there's less children and it's a bit more homely.

Your OH is talking absolute nonsense of course; babies absolutely do not need to go to nursery to "be socialised" and most evidence suggests it's only of clear benefit to children from deprived backgrounds or a very low level of maternal education.

On the other hand a good nursery or childminder will do no harm either, and your child might love going - there is no harm in using good childcare if you need to work.

Go and visit as many childminders and nurseries as you can, and talk to people at the groups you go to (especially if they are on maternity leave and have an older child) about their experiences and recommendations. The more you visit and talk to people the better equipped you will be to make a decision.

I don't have any experience with nurseries, but I am an Ofsted registered childminder. I work from my home, mainly the living room /dining room and a purpose built play room. Also the garden. Here's what I do all day with the babies:
I look after three under 2 year olds. In the morning, we have breakfast and then go out. We'll go to a country park, or for a walk through the woods (we take nuts for the squirrels and corn for the ducks), or we'll go to a toddler group at a children's centre. They run around and play and by 10.30/11 they're all knackered so we come home and they nap. I stay with them until they fall asleep, which doesn't take long.
They wake up at lunch time, so I'll put on the twirly woos or some other cebeebies program while I sort lunch. They all eat and then we play in the living room or play room. I'll often do an activity with them in the afternoon - anything from drawing to "painting"the fence outside with rollers and water or giant cardboard boxes to climb in and out of or messy play. Then they're tired again. So we have a snack, story and then it's usually home time.

I very much doubt your baby will be in a cot all day. Childcare providers inc nurseries in the UK have to deliver the EYFS (early years education) to children and we do this through play. I recommend you visit a number of providers before choosing one.

It's scary thinking about leaving your child with someone, but of course nurseries don't leave them in a cot all day. In fact they tend to do loads more with them then you may do on an average day! My DS goes two days a week and a day there tends to be breakfast, play with that days toys (some days it's wooden, some its water bottles with sparkles, some days it's metal objects etc) nap times they get the babies to sleep however they will do it (they don't all go in a cot, if the baby sleeps better in a bouncer chair or what they call the cosy corner which is like a little play pen with blankets etc they do that) but they do have a darkened sleep room with cots too. Snacks of fruit or veg, a big cooked on site lunch (he's had full roast dinners, beef goulash, curries, fish pie etc!) and a smaller dinner of sandwiches and fruit, or wraps, or fish fingers and veg etc. they also do a specific activity a day based on age such as practising walking between adults, painting, water play etc. they have a dedicated garden for each age group or 'room' his baby room has 6-7 babies in max and more like 5 on his days. It's a lovely lovely place. It's an independant one (not a chain) and its Ofsted rating is outstanding. Just ring some local ones and visit them all, they will show you anything you want, and if you don't like it then look into childminders, or if you really want one to one care look at a Nanny maybe. There are pros and cons to all of them, but for my not particularly clingy and outgoing 1 year old, nursery works. A younger Velcro baby or a timid child might need something else like familiar family or home to feel secure and happy. But as I say a nursery with a dedicated baby room with a small intake may well be like a childminders anyway as the babies aren't involved in the hustle and bustle of the older children's rooms and on a quiet day it's almost 1 to 1 care. Just investigate until you feel comfortable.

DS started nursery 3 months ago so I could go back to work. He was 9 months. Only 2 days a week there and the others he's with family.

I cannot even tell you how much he loves it there, he literally throws himself out of my arms to get to his favourite carer. He starts waving like a lunatic as soon as we get in the door and just beams at everyone. As a PP posted said, the food is amazing, he eats so well. His key worker is on holiday but has been texting the others at the nursery to make sure her little ones are ok and she left behind a birthday for my DS's 1st birthday because she won't be there.

Go and view as many as you can, you'll know what one is right for you and your baby.
It was awful leaving him at first and it took a while but any decent nursery will bend over backwards to help your DS settle in. Good luck OP.

ilovenannyplum Hi, I remember you posting about settling in when I was also about to start my DS at nursery! Glad to see he's happy! My DS grins his head off when he gets to his as well, actually OP this reminds me we got 2 weeks of settling in sessions before he started officially, going from 2 hours to half a day. This was so great as he was used to it on the big day when he was there all day and I had to get to work! Also they were very keen to do what's best for DS (they don't want rooms of unhappy children to deal with!) for example they noticed he had bonded with and responded to one member of staff more so they changed things and made her his key worker instead of who he'd be assigned so he would be happier. Ask loads of questions when you visit to set your mind at ease.

@buglife
Aaahhh thank you, glad to hear your little one has settled ok too
It took maybe 5 weeks of hysterical sobbing at drop off before he clocked on that actually it's quite fun there. One morning he just didn't cry and then since then he's loved it which makes me feel much more relaxed about leaving him there.
He had his key worker changed too, the one he's got now is amazing. He loves her and she's pretty taken with him too, it's really sweet

I'm lucky I never got any sobbing really, a quick angry shout as I waved and backed away but usually they shove a bit of toast in his hand and he's forgotton me!

You are lucky! It broke my heart was bloody awful.
But now, he's the same as yours. More interested in the toast than me. Always pleased to see me at the end of the day though

I'm sure he'll still have his moments in the future as he goes through various stages but yes, good not to have that at the beginning.

DH has been in nursery since she was 4mo. She had a lovely bond with a number of the workers in the baby room - it was a bit traumatic when she left too be up to the tweenies at 16 mo.

The baby room was very nurturing. Very focused on baby. Yes they nap but they also play with the babies - on mats, in ball pools, using donut cushions. They sing songs and read, they take them out for walks to the park to feed the ducks. They do finger painting and messy play. They make you Mother's Day cards and Easter baskets. They "bake" you things that get instantly binned . They do much more structured activity than you'd ever get round to at home. But there are also lots of cuddles. The baby room (certainly in our nursery) is viewed as a "good gig" - it's the only room with a sofa for them to sit and cuddle the babies. Carers from other rooms are always coming in for a skive cuddle. It's really a lovely environment. We loved our baby room.

DD used to leap out of my arms to get to the team in the mornings. Never a whimper. Now she's a big grown up tweenie, she still has a lovely relationship with all of the workers from the baby room. They always stop when they pass he new room to say hi.

It's making me want to work in s nursery, I feel much better now I think I'm going to try leaving him for longer periods to try and get him ready. I spoke to my mum and she said she wants to look after him and it would be a pleasure then maybe introduce nursery slowly. I'm becoming a nightmare mum arghhhhhhhhhh

Bear in mind most nurseries won't let you do only 1 day a week. Some require two full days as a minimum, others accept two half days. You should definitely go and look at some.

I had a friend went for one day at nursery and it didn't work because he just didn't settle. I guess this is why some nurseries won't do it. I went for childminder and I'm really happy with my choice. There are 4 kids from 5 to 1 and they are like a little family. I like that I hand dd to the same adult every day and that she mixes with older children. She is like their little sister which I think is nice for an only/eldest to have that experience. She loves it. She has never cried at drop off but often cries when I pick her up as she doesn't want to stop playing with her friends.

I would recommend a childminder for a baby definitely. They get the 1 to 1 and is like home away from home.

There's no evidence that babies that age need nursery for socialisation. It's not until about 30-36 months that socialisation becomes something they're worse off if they don't get. Your DS won't miss out because of you using a mixture of family and formal childcare, especially as he goes to groups anyway.