Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

Original poster

Common assult

13 replies

izabela90 · 03/08/2015 19:25

Hi I have a bit of a problem. My partner has smacked our 3.5 year old in a hospital while I was on the ward with younger son. She had a massive tantrum and he got stressed not knowing what was wrong with our son. He didnt cause any bruises or harm to her which was confirmed by a doctor in a presence of social services. The thing is it has been reported he was arrested and is now on bail with no contact order to the children (he can have any contact he likes with me tho) and facing the court case in 3 weeks time for common assult (he is pleading guilty). I have got social services involved and my daughter is crying for her dad. He has never done anything like that before. We previously had a case with social services for domestic but nothing serious. Now my question is what is going to happen and when is he going to be allowed back home with us as we want to be a family and my daughter is crying every day for him. I have also got a 3 month old baby and its killing us as a family. Anyone please help

OP posts:

happymummyone · 03/08/2015 19:37

It's scary that authorities can swoop in and separate parent from child for what 30 years ago would have been considered discipline. I have no practical advice but I do hope it goes no firther and you are all reunited. I have on occasion tapped my DD on the bum, which my parents did to me, which their parents did to them and I will not consider it abusive. Even so, I know many people do so I wouldn't do it in public. I'm sorry for you all

UrethraFranklin1 · 03/08/2015 19:46

I don't think its scary. If he hit another adult you'd expect him to be charged with assault, I don't see why its ok for him to hit his child.

He's going to have a criminal conviction for assaulting his young child. There is already a social services involvement for domestic violence, so the family is already known to them. It's likely that they are going to have serious concerns about him living with the children or having unsupervised access.
They may have requirements for him to fulfil before the prospect of him being able to live with the children is raised, such as parenting classes or anger management.

Original poster

izabela90 · 03/08/2015 20:09

He deeply regrets what he has done but worst for my daughter is now that she is not even able to speak to her dad. I had to lie to her that he went on holiday and she wants to go and get him each day. We are willing to work alongside them and he can take all classes needed we just want him back home as soon as its possible.

OP posts:

stuckinahole · 03/08/2015 21:43

Agree to everything SS want you to do. They are the only people that will and can split up & ruin families, they do get it wrong. They really do. I hope it works out ok for you.

My parents & grandparents smacked us as kids and both of us are successful, professional & have high morals. SS on the other hand abuse the power they have. Nazi's spring to mind.

Hang in there - it will be ok.

prepares for flaming!

CultureSucksDownWords · 03/08/2015 23:40

I'm confused as to why he's being charged with common assault (and pleading guilty) when he has smacked her but not left a mark/injury? Smacking her was wrong, clearly, but there must have been more to it to be charged with common assault?

I would avoid lying to your DD about where her father is and why he can't see her, as this will only add to the confusion this situation is causing.

I would listen carefully to what SS have to say, and cooperate with them. Not out of fear that they will "take" your children, but because they are looking after the welfare of your DD.

Toffeelatteplease · 03/08/2015 23:43

We previously had a case with social services for domestic

Umm if this isn't the first problem....

Oswin · 03/08/2015 23:46

I'm not sure why he's been charged, smacking is legal as long as it doesn't mark isn't it? I think it should be illegal myself.
Op why was social services involved before?

BertrandRussell · 03/08/2015 23:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BertrandRussell · 04/08/2015 11:43

Wow. Deleted for suggesting that mumsnetters should probably not comment on what is obviously a complex legal situation where there is current and past social service involvement! Let's hope all the posters who contribute are properly qualified.....

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 04/08/2015 11:46

There is precious case files on this family, I assume there are concerns that we are not being made aware of. Also - this is bail conditions not social services I assume? Police bail will usually specify no contact with the victim even if the victim is a family member.

Op, you will just have to wait it out. My best guess will be that once he has been sentenced it will move to being a social services matter and depending on what their previous concerns are they are likely to either agree he can return with the kids on some kind of plan, or take no further action. If there is a horrendous history you haven't mentioned they may instigate legal proceedings.

MNHQ

YetAnotherHelenMumsnet · 04/08/2015 12:26

Hi BertrandRussell. Sorry to bring this on thread but that's not why you were deleted, as you know, because we have contacted you about it and explained that it looked like you were troll-hunting, both to us and the people who reported it.

BlandandInsipid · 04/08/2015 12:38

I can't understand why he's pleading guilty if he was just disciplining a wayward child. Either there is more to this than you are letting on, or he has received terrible legal advice.
That aside, listen to social services and if they offer courses/classes etc. take them up on the offer. Sometimes they sound a waste of time but can be truly informative.

BertrandRussell · 04/08/2015 13:00

Yes, sorry, helenmumsnet. Just seen and replied to the email.

I stand by my view that it would be very wrong for people to comment on this case in the circumstances. The OP needs proper advice from people who know what they are talking about- not from barrack room lawyers.

Flip