Do your 4yo and 2yo boys manage to peacefully co-exist when you're at home? Help

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They are both very lovely but both quite full-on. I'm finding that by 9 am we're usually all cross and teary and shouty because nothing seems to just go smoothly! Not helped by the fact that they are both early risers (5.40 today, which is the better side of average) and there's currently no pre-school to force us out of the house. The older one is now pretty good at playing lego, colouring etc on his own for reasonable amounts of time, but the little one has hit prime-age for basically just getting in his way or getting screechy and I honestly find that some mornings I honestly can;t even leave them in the same room for fear of one hurting the other out of frustration and/or arguments over toys etc. When they're in a good humour with each other they are perfection - they do dressing up, make dens, play endless role play games etc but these can often come to an abrupt and violent halt when there's a tussle over whatever. Can you think of any activities I can set them up with that both would enjoy or is 4 and 2 just a bloody difficult age difference? I blame the older one probably more than I should when things get out of hand, which doesn't help. Argh.

I'm really hoping someone gives you some decent advice cause I need some too.

Dd is 4 and ds is 20 months. I can easy manage each of them on their own but together is a nightmare.

Same problems you have the toddler messes up anything the four year old is playing with.

It's bloody annoying.

Mine are 5 and 2.5. One goes on the iPad. The other watches TV. Errm and that's the plan till September!

I can empathise. DS is 4 and DD is 2.5. They can play so nicely together for hours some days and then other days, it's like the Hunger Games With mine the key seems to be sharing DDs toys, rather than DSs (though this may be trickier with 2 boys?). DD seems desperate for her brother's attention so will happily let him push her baby doll around if it means she can be around him. It's harder when the toys are more generic (eg Lego) or his, as he puts really strict rules on how she should play, so she just winds him up on purpose . Sorry - realise none of that is likely to be any help!

No advice but I'm in exactly the same boat , 2 and 4 year old boys.....they seem to love and hate each other equal amounts and the youngest always trashes what the oldest is playing with

I try and distract DS2 when DS1 wants to do something specific, so if he's building Lego I get duplo out as well, or if he's doing a puzzle I'll help youngest with a different puzzle.

I've relied on the tv far too much this summer, we are right out in the sticks so no summer activity groups, playgroups or other friends to play with and the weather has been really shitty in Scotland getting them outside always helps but not at 5.30 in the morning, plenty of and to get you through and maybe some more useful advice than mine

Same boat here !

I think it's the early waking that makes it all so ditticult, mine are now 5 & 3 but still wake from 5:30 so the whole day is really difficult .

Also live far away from any groups or places to go which doesn't help :(

Another in the same boat.

Sometimes it's all sweetness and light and they play happily together, sometimes it's fine because they're playing separately, and sometimes its hell because the little one decides he wants what the big one has, and the big one has reached his limit and won't share.

I try to be fair - encourage the big one to take it easy, and if all else fails take the little one outside or to the kitchen and distract him whilst promising the big one I'll make it up later.

I don't have any fail-proof tips though unfortunately.

Seriously, god bless you all for making me feel less desperate about it! It's do frustrating to see evidence of such affection and companionship on the one hand and such crazy carnage on the other! I'm in London do we have plenty to do, today we were out of the house by 9, in a museum at 10, had lunch out, had a trip on the DLR and the playground on the way home during all of which they were fab, but the reality is that sometimes we need to be at home, I need to DO LIFE STUFF and is rather it wasn't with a back drop of stress and tears. Ho hum.
Miawalker you have my sympathy. Everything is more of a challenge when your day is do much pointlessly longer than it really should be. Grrrrr.

Oh and we currently have no tv as the 4yo hurled an aeroplane at a 'baddie' on Gigglebiz. So we are not immediately replacing it in attempt to reinforce the message 'If you throw things, even if your not trying to be naughty, stuff will get broken'. Talk about a rod for your own back....

My boy 4 girl 2 don't play for 1 minute fight for 5. It's pants

Reading with interest as I have 1 boy and am pregnant with another so we're going to have a 17 month gap.

Although I do have an older DD who is now 14, and OP I highly recommend reviewing the TV situation! Yes to consequences and all that, but not so much if you end up suffering more!