How to use pacifiers

[ParsleyCake]

My 5 week old took to using a dummy just fine but I don't really know the 'rules' - if there are any - of when to/not give it to him.

I like to give it to him when its bed time as he tends to sleep for longer periods with it - when he wakes in the night he will go right back to sleep with the dummy unless he needs a feed. He used to startle awake despite swaddling.

I am kind of hesitant to give it to him during the day. I tend to only do this to stop him crying when we are out somewhere. I am careful not to offer it to him instead of a breast when he is hungry.

There are times during the day when I do want to give it to him. Sometimes he is fed, has a clean nappy and I want to hand him to daddy so I can get a break. However, he starts crying after about 5 mins of play and starts looking for my breast again, despite having just been fed. He does feed for a while, but I feel like he isn't THAT hungry and just wants it for comfort. I experimented a few times and found that if he was given a dummy instead he was happy to play with daddy for much longer, but I worry that if I start doing this regularly he will want the dummy in his mouth constantly.

When do you give your baby a dummy? Are there guidelines of when to give it to them?

If I carry on as I am and only give the dummy at bedtime, do you think as he gets older he will learn to play with his dad or other people and be away from me for longer? Sometimes I just get so tired and just need a break.

My dd had a dummy and had it whenever she needed or wanted it - the way I saw it was that it's a source of comfort and that it wasn't for me to limit that.

She didn't have it all day long but if she was crying and wanting to suckle but wasn't actually hungry, I gave her the dummy.

She was bottle fed if that makes a difference; sucking at an empty bottle, or even a full one without actually drinking anything, would have given her more wind and caused more pain and discomfort.

I also used to give her the dummy straight after a feed because she had reflux and I found that sucking the dummy helped her keep the milk down.

At 6 months, I forgot to give it to her one night at bedtime and she slept without it. She's not used it since (though she does, at 2.10, still suck the corners of her teddy-with-a-blanket thing).

Tbh I prefer the dummy; ds never had one because I didn't agree with them at the time (pfb and all that). He found his fingers instead and sucked them more or less all the time. He only stopped when, at 3, his teeth rubbing on his fingers made them sore and I had to tape a plaster over them.

Tl; dr: I don't think it matters when/how often you give them a dummy. In a way they're better than the thumb/fingers because at least you can get rid of them.

I'm of the school of thought that if it makes YOU happy ie getting a break, then ultimately it will make baby happy

Just go with the flow and if he looks like he's wanting it pop it in

I don't think there are any rules - the only thing that I would say is just make sure that he's really not hungry after the 5 mins playing with daddy - at that age my son was still cluster feeding every 20-30mins from 5pm to 11pm,but it did settle down around week 8 I think. I ended up expressing and my husband would give him a bottle every evening to give me some time to myself (usually to shower!) but if he is really not hungry and happier with the dummy don't I see why not.

Congratulations on your son!

We had no rules until he was 2 and then he only used it for naps and sleeping at night. He's just turned 3 and I'm pregnant so he gave them to the dummy fairy to give to the baby in mummy's tummy (and the fairy brought him a couple of cars for being such a thoughtful boy). He's not asked for it since although he has taken to sucking on his shirt collars when he's tired.

We used one when DD was fussing around and refused to feed but was tired.

At 5 weeks if you are breastfeeding it can still have a bad effect on your supply, so have a read up on kellymom.com
Also "wonderweeks" website/app/book great for info about growth spurts where they want to feed 5 minutes after they just fed! I think 5 weeks is a big one, and you do need to feed a lot to up the supply at that stage - giving dummy works to settle baby but does not help your breasts increase supply.

Congratulations on your baby!

Before I had my DD, I hated dummies but now I use one. She only really needs it when she's really tired and I will normally take it away or she will spit it out once asleep. It's useful to have when she is fussing when out and about and she never wants it when she's happy IYSWIM. One thing I do hate, though, is children who are running around playing with them in and those that talk with them. I was a thumb sucker as a child and didn't get out of the habit until I was 12+ whereas my sister had a dummy and my parents "left them on holiday" when she was about a year. So agree with PP that dummy is better because at least you can take them away.

Hi OP,
Further to my post above, there are some good guidelines about giving breastfed babies pacifiers/dummies

They suggest 6 - 8 weeks.

Hope this helps.