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Original poster

Done to death - getting rid of the dummy

11 replies

trilbydoll · 15/07/2015 23:28

DD is 2y 2m and loves her dummy more than anything else in the world, she can sniff one out at 50m. She has it in the car, for naps and bedtime, and any time she gets her hands on one until we notice.

DD2 is 8wo and as yet, doesn't seem to need a dummy.

My dilemmas are:

1 - should we get rid of it in the daytime first then bedtime or just all at once?

2 - is it too soon after dd2's arrival, is dd1 going to link the two events and resent the baby?!

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BerylStreep · 15/07/2015 23:34

FWIW we only got rid of DD's dummy when she was starting nursery at 3 yo. The dummy fairy came and took them, to give them to new babies who hadn't got dummies yet. So it happened all at once.

Our DS (younger) never had, or wanted a dummy.

Congrats on the new baby. Why not make life easier for yourself and wait a bit before dealing with the dummy issue?

Teladi · 15/07/2015 23:38

If you're into it (and I didn't think I would be) - the dummy fairy can come for the special big girl? Dummy fairy came for DD just after her 2nd birthday, and I wasn't sure if it would work but she totally 'got' it. DD received a letter from the dummy fairy saying that now she was a big girl who was 2, it was time to say bye to the dummies. Hung the dummies up in the tree in the garden, dummy fairy brought a present in the morning. DD never asked for the dummies back. Bit of whinging at bedtime the first night (dummies were not actually mentioned), extra love sorted it out.

Having said that, DD only had her dummy at night, not sure if that made it easier. Also in our case some of DD's little friends had just had new baby siblings, so dummy fairy explained that dummies were for little babies like Baby X and Baby Y, not for big girls like DD.

NickyEds · 16/07/2015 03:48

DS is almost 19 months and also loves his dummy, he'd have one in permanently if we allowed it. I'm expecting dd any day now (today please..) and we've decided to leave the dummy well alone for now. Mainly because;

We're waiting to see if the baby needs one. If she does ds will just pinch hers so getting rid of his will be futile
Ds sleeps really well. 2-2.5 hours in the day, 11-11.5 hours in the night and we are obviously very reluctant to do anything that might change that with a new baby coming
As you say I don't want to take away a source of comfort at a time of upheaval.
I'm 40+2 and too bloody knackered to think about it.

Maybe keep it out of the car so just for bed at home? I probably wouldn't go cold turkey at this point tbh.

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Graceymac · 16/07/2015 04:08

I snipped a tiny piece of the end of my dd21&2's dummies and gave them back to them. They knew there was something up with them but tried to suck them as usual but didn't get the same pleasure from them as they had before. After a few days they stopped sucking them and just held them instead and eventually forgot all about them. They did all of the hard work themselves! My dd 3 (age 3) had hers at night until recently. The dentist said that we needed to get rid of it by 3 1/2yrs or it could affect her teeth, the top row had a gap between it and the bottom which she said was caused by the dummy. The next time it went missing I didn't replace it and she accepted that it was lost. She would still love one and points them out in the shop but accepts that she no longer has one.

Original poster

trilbydoll · 16/07/2015 08:55

Thanks all. It's good to know that she should understand the dummy fairy, I wasn't sure if she is too young or not.

I might start introducing the idea of a dummy fairy and a big girl present and see how she reacts!

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WhetherOrNot · 16/07/2015 12:01

It never affected my son's teeth, never. Load of old crap.

Original poster

trilbydoll · 16/07/2015 14:47

Part of the problem is she is still using teeny newborn dummies, she won't consider anything bigger. She's going to end up with permanently pursed lips!

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FATEdestiny · 16/07/2015 15:10

With my three children we got rid of the dummy in the same way:

Dummies became 'bedroom only'. So child could have dummy at any time but only when in their bedroom. So if child wanted to watch TV or play downstairs - no dummy.

Then dummies became 'cot only'. So child could have anytime but only when in cot. I didn't insist that child slept, but dummies became used only for quiet time in cot if they were used. This soon naturally became:

Dummy for sleep time only.

4 Then I would start removing dummy once child was asleep so it was not there when waking.

Then starts the negativity offensive. No insistence that dummies were got rid of, but constant sniping comments like

dummies are for babies
you look like a baby with a dummy, shame because you are a big boy/girl now
look at that little baby with a dummy, babies are who have dummies
you are too big for a dummy now you know
a dummy looks a bit silly in your mouth now you are a big girl/boy

This negativity offensive went on for ages, but without any insistence that the dummy wants used. The idea is just to create a negative association with the dummy

Suggest some great present child is desperate for. Plant the idea that they can have said present if they go a week without a dummy. No insistence that it happens tho.

Make sticker chart together and agree present for when one week's worth of no stickers are achieved.

Tell child that as soon as they are ready to get really great present that they can start the sticker chart. No suggestion from anyone when this must happen.

In all 3 cases with my children they have wanted to start sticker chart straight away and have done it all without any tears, fuss or bother. Because it was done on their terms not mine (yes, you can have your dummy if you want but you won't get the present.. OK I won't have it.)

Original poster

trilbydoll · 16/07/2015 15:46

That's great FATE, thank you. Just need to think of a present that will fit the bill - I suspect she would rather have a dummy!

OP posts:

gonegrey56 · 16/07/2015 15:51

The prospect of a garden slide worked a treat for my dd. but only for a big girl, who did not need dummies . She carefully watched dh assemble the slide, we then had a big ceremony collecting all the dummies and putting them in the bin, then she was off playing on the slide for ages.
Dummies were never mentioned again . I could not believe that this worked, but she was 2 years 6 months so perhaps that helped .

Graceymac · 16/07/2015 19:33

Two of my children had perfect teeth with dummy use one did not. The paediatric dentist she attends believes that the dummy has affected the alignment of her teeth. She is the expert and I am not so to state it is "a load of old crap" is an ill informed sweeping statement to make. Some children are affected some are not. I also did not use the orthodontic dummies for dd3 as she didn't like them. I did for the other two with perfect teeth. Anyhow, the dentist was not concerned and as I said stated that so long as the child doesn't use a dummy beyond 3-3.5 yrs there will be no long term problems.
I am a big advocate for dummy use, they have saved my sanity many times when all else has failed! SIDS endorse their use and they provide great comfort and at the young age of the OPs dc I would keep it for a while longer.

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