baby wont sleep on his own! :(

[Januarybaby2015]

I have a 5 month old gorgeous little boy who is full of smiles and has the best personality but since he was two weeks old he has never slept on his own it went through a stage of physically rocking him then rocking in crib now he is in a cot and he has to have milk to sleep otherwise he just moans and stays awake im scared ive done something wrong I see pictures of other babies just fallen asleep in there jumperoo ect but my little one would never do that he gets so worked up I play calming music give him a bath read a book have cuddles but he just wont fall asleep when he s tired, any advice or experiences? I feel like an awful mum :(

You've done nothing wrong at all. Nothing. Your baby isn't great at winding himself down to nap, and needs a bit of a help - that's ok. I'll bet you that he's a curious type who just finds it difficult to switch off. He will learn over time, it won't be like this forever, and if you can feel ok about it, then go with it. There are NO rods for backs here, just finding a way to help your baby relax.

Thankyou so much I called a health visitor a few days ago asking for advice and they just made me feel like an awful mum by telling me off for letting him lie in till 8 :( he is so curious! I assume when he starts crawling and walking he will be exhausted he will just fall asleep! X

Your HV sounds a bit weird. Sleep in as much as you can! For sure, when he starts moving about more it will be tiring. If it's any help, my son was precisely the same - he's never fallen asleep in his dinner or anywhere except where he would usually go to sleep - he seems to need 'it's good to go to sleep here' permission otherwise he just keeps going. It doesn't matter that he needs a hand to wind down, you're providing him with what he needs - and teaching him (slowly!) how to do it.

It's totally down to the baby tbh.
My dd1 fought naps, was a terrible sleeper and up every 45 mins all night every night from 4 months to 9 months, needed cuddled to sleep every time she woke etc.
did nothing different with dd2 (now almost 6 months) and she prefers to go to sleep on her own in her cot (she just throws herself around if I try and cuddle her to sleep. She hates it), sleeps through from 7-3, feed then 4-7 and naps much better than dd1 ever did.
Don't beat yourself up about it. And your hv sounds like a right treat! My dd sometimes sleeps til 8 if she wakes later for her night feed. I would never intentionally wake her as if she's sleeping then she obviously needs it. Sometimes she wakes at 6.30 and is hungry, I'm not going to ignore her being hungry so why would anyone ignore their child needing to sleep!

My best advice is just do whatever you need to do to get sleep yourself. If that means co sleeping (I did this loads with dd1 but have only ever done it twice with dd2 when she was ill and couldn't settle) then fair enough, if it means feeding to sleep then fair enough. He'll come out of it when he's ready and you'll know when he's ready because what you're doing won't work any more.

Have you considered a co-sleeper crib? It's been our compromise -- not co-sleeping but not in his own cot entirely. Every baby is different and it's hard to remember they are individuals with different needs. People can be so harsh.. my baby is super super high needs and wants to be held/cuddled during the day, hates the pram only settles in the sling, and needs to be cuddled to sleep, and people can be so judgmental - ''oh you shouldn't let him have his way! how will he learn?'' it's crazy the things people say.. what's the alternative?? to let him CRY himself to sleep? no way! do what feels right and ignore everyone else.. that's what I keep convincing myself to do anyway, but it's tough..

My DD is 3 months and this week we have brought her cot into our room (she was in moses basket then crib previously) and taken the side off and tiEd it to our bed. She has now managed to sleep in her own bed for 3 nights in a row and tonight self settled for the first time because I was right next to her. She feels like she's close enough and I feel like she is far enough away.

My DS is almost 14mo and needs lots of help to fall asleep still. At 5mo he wouldn't even sleep at all unless he was physically attached to me, so you sound like you are doing great. It's nothing you are doing, some babies are good sleepers, others need a little help, but it won't last forever!

DD is 20 months and has never fallen asleep in her dinner/on the sofa/in a chair etc. she will only sleep in her cot with a very specific routine! I think she just needs the sleep cues. FIL always says 'if she's tired she'll sleep where she is' but she just wouldn't.