Second/third degree smoke

[Mustang27]

I'm really worried about this a close family member now dates a smoker I really don't want them holding my newborn with this on their clothes and hair. How can I state this without offending.

I'm not sure you can, if they're going to be offended then they are, I imagine some people would be embarrassed, some offended and others totally understanding. Would you be ok if they washed their hands before holding the baby? We only have one member of the family who smokes (dps mum) and she must just not smoke when she's going to be near him as I can never smell smoke on her. I was worried when we went to stay but decided that as it was for such a short time it wasn't worth potentially damaging an otherwise great relationship.

will you see them that often?

I have this dilemma with DP's mum! I've told him he needs to have a word as luckily he agrees with me, I don't want her holding him if she hasn't washed her hands/changed her top. It may be OTT but at the very least, I wouldn't want my baby smelling of smoke even if it doesn't do him any harm!

Revs, current research says that it DOES do harm. This one is absolutely non-negotiable, no matter how British and non-confrontational you usually are!

Have you got a link to the evidence of the harm caused Tropical? I think chumbler's question is really relevant- if this is a new partner (just "dating") of a family member then it might only be an issue very,very infrequently.

Tropical they already said they would not negotiate: that means the opposite of being mild and backing down.