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Parenting

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Original poster

Baby Number 2?

19 replies

Julieb85 · 16/06/2015 15:39

Wondering how long everyone waited to try for another baby? Do you think you 'just know' when its right?

Have DS - 14 months and always knew there would be 1 other if possible (trouble trying to conceive), but how do you know when?

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ch1134 · 16/06/2015 17:23

As soon as my body felt ready. There will be a 22 month gap.

toomuchtooold · 16/06/2015 17:35

I'm probably the exactly wrong person to ask as I have twins by IVF but from my perspective, a gap would be a nice thing! Don't do what I did

I know a lot of people think of it as a tradeoff between having them close and being knackered, or having them far apart but less chance they will play together etc. I think what is useful is to think what ages they will be together. You want the first one to be fairly biddable by the time the second one is becoming mobile, otherwise you have the whole "which one do I chase first" scenario whenever you let them both out the buggy. 14 months plus 9 months pregnancy plus 8 months to get mobile gives you... 2y 5m? By the time they are 3 they can be reasoned with... just. So if it was me I'd say, sometime soon, specially if you have problems TTC.

Roseybee10 · 16/06/2015 18:25

I fell pregnant when dd1 was 19 months. Was quite a good gap I think.

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Nevercan · 16/06/2015 20:41

I had a 2 year gap but everyone is different. Some people wait until one is at school. I didn't want to get too far out of the nappy/broken night stage before going there again

NickyEds · 16/06/2015 20:43

I'm due in 4 weeks and ds will be 19 months ish when the baby's born. I'm starting to think a slightly larger gap might have been more sensible! Ds still needs soooo much looking after. I'm hoping to survive the first year then reap the rewards later when they'll play together .

KW89 · 16/06/2015 21:37

I'm due in 6 weeks, and will have a 23 month gap. Hoping they will be close and play together once we make it through the first year!

mumofboyo · 16/06/2015 22:35

I have a 17 month gap between mine. It actually wasn't something we decided to do or felt was right - it just happened that way.
It was very tough at first but now, not far off 3 years in, they play together like a dream and it's great watching their relationship develop and listening to them chatting with each other.

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 16/06/2015 22:42

I'm aiming for 3 to 4 years as a gap. I couldn't cope with 2 under 3 at once.

slightlyconfused85 · 18/06/2015 21:28

I wasn't ready to try until dd was 18 months. She was easier by then and it just felt like the right time to try. It actually took me until she was 23 months to fall pregnant with a successful pregnancy- baby is due next month and gap will be 2.8. Am now glad it's worked out this way as dd is a little bit independent (toilet trained, verbally good, can play alone for short periods, in a big bed) but I'm not too far out of baby stage. I think whatever you do will work fine

quesadillas · 18/06/2015 21:31

DS had just turned two when I got pregnant with #2. Or, as it turned out, #2 and #3.

ch1134 · 18/06/2015 21:33

It seems like everyone is answering as though they just want 2. A big consideration for me was the fact that I want 3 or 4... so needed to get a move on.

slightlyconfused85 · 18/06/2015 21:57

Id like 3 CH but still couldn't face the 2 under 2 scenario! I'm quite young though so biologically time not to rush too fast

ch1134 · 18/06/2015 23:04

I'm not young enough!

NickyEds · 19/06/2015 13:42

We're considering number three ch1134, I'm 35 (very nearly 36) and we didn't want to have the decision about a third made for us if you see what I mean.

Original poster

Julieb85 · 19/06/2015 15:09

I'm 30 at the end of the year, so I'm thinking if I rush for baby #2 I'll inevitabley wish for a 3rd later in my 30s especially as fried a haven't started families yet. I don't think I'm quite ready to be 'done'!

OP posts:

Christelle2207 · 19/06/2015 15:38

It took us ages to conceive dc1. I assumed it would took ages again, wasn't really ready but we stopped using contraception after his 1st birthday, expecting ttc to take 1yr +. We dtd just once and two weeks later my period was late!!!
I freaked out at the time, but was ready for dc2 by the time he arrived last month, 21 month gap.
Not ideal but I didn't like what pg and childbirth did to my body and am now pleased to be "done" at 37.

BentleyBelly · 22/06/2015 11:02

I think we will start trying for #2 after xmas when #1 will be 2.4. I fell apart in my first pregnancy and could barely walk by the end so wanted #1 to be fairly independent and at least at preschool, if not school before another baby came along.

gutzgutz · 22/06/2015 14:40

If you use paid childcare, consider waiting until your eldest gets his 15 free hours as 2 in paid childcare is horrifically expensive. (Yes, I know all may change soon). Another bonus would be no 1 is out of nappies, again expensive and potty training with a newborn is not much fun!

33goingon64 · 22/06/2015 14:55

Due in 4 weeks when DS will be 4.4. We both knew we didn't want a small age gap, nothing under 3 years. But at the stage we were happy with the gap, our relationship was rocky and I needed a good 6 months before I was ready to try again. That pg resulted in mc so now we've got the bigger gap. Actually it's fine as DS will be starting school and I'll have the day at home with the baby. We didn't plan it this way but you can't always know how it'll turn out.

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