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Parenting

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Original poster

FeeHigh Chair, Buggy, Car Seat refuser...

16 replies

jugglingmonkey · 15/06/2015 19:45

19 month old DS has been refusing all of the above for the best part of three weeks now.

Will not sit in high chair, so we have a low table, which he sits at for very brief periods but then picks up his food and wanders off, screaming and tantrumming should we bring him back to the table.

Same for the buggy, been going on for weeks/months. Good bribes don't work anymore.

Car seat also terrible.

All are upright. He can see everything, so I don't know what the problem is other than being constrained.

The buggy/car seat I can just about cope with, but the feeding situation is having a knock on effect on his whole eating pattern. It's like he has a few mouthfuls, gets bored, then tantrums if I try to get him to eat anything more.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

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Original poster

jugglingmonkey · 15/06/2015 19:46

*high chair, not feehigh chair...??

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silverstreak · 15/06/2015 19:55

Um, don't take any crap from him??!! My DD went through a phase of doing this & I just said something along the lines of "sorry I know you don't like this but its for your safety and we have to do it" it kind of thing and it worked fine, tbh.... Although I did stop strapping her down where it didn't reeeally matter (ie buggy - as she never tried to evacuate mid-journey, thankfully! - and high chair, as I was always right by her when she was in it... it was quite telling that her first linked up words were "sit down"!) I obviously didn't relent on the car seat (often had to employ the 'tickle manoeuvre' to get her in, or on bad days the wrestlers body-lock!) & when she was in whichever seat or was just a case of calmly repeating the above; she didn't fight it for too long!

Original poster

jugglingmonkey · 15/06/2015 19:58

But the buggy for example, he arches his back and writhes so much that he needs to be restrained - he is literally flinging himself from it.

High chair, I've never strapped him in, always right next to him, but he won't even sit in it. Legs rigid, screaming, writhing around.

Car seat of course we find a way, but I'm just wondering if maybe I should ditch the high chair (or low table) altogether? Is having both likely to be confusing him?

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GlitterTwinkleToes · 15/06/2015 20:03

I feel you. Dd is the same with her buggy and highchair. Screams blue murder if we attempt to put her in them.

A good trick I've learnt is to press down on their hip.bones. Stops.them arching their back and Dosent hurt them either.

It's just a stage hopefully, they are trying to insert independence. A strict routine and being consisent will hopefully snap her out of it.

Original poster

jugglingmonkey · 15/06/2015 20:07

Glitter- does your dd calm down once in the high chair though? DS screams, food gets chucked, basically makes a massive fuss and tantrums until he is let out. Then there's no chance of getting any dinner in him...

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silverstreak · 15/06/2015 20:22

Exactly glitter - my DD probably did this for a couple weeks to varying degrees and at times I couldn't believe how strong she was but it was no longer than a month (on and off!) and was clearly just her trying to assert herself.... The hard thing is once you've relented the first time (or more!) they know it's just a matter of time and will object even harder! So monkey, sorry to say but you may have a rough time aheadahead...! And I would totally do away with the low table for eating - I won't let mine have anything but snacks at hers as she is easily distracted, and given the option of getting up and wandering off I'd not get anything in her either! Can you kind of back track a bit and say the table's just got playing/snacks now? Just had a thought - do you have his highchair at the table and sit down and eat with him? That totally helped with DD as well.....

PolterGoose · 15/06/2015 20:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dodi1978 · 15/06/2015 20:29

Ditch the high chair! I had a similar post on there about the high chair only, at a similar age!
The only thing DS wanted was to sit with us on the table. He now sits on a booster seat with us on the table, and sometimes he just climbs on a chair without the booster.
No advice about the car seat though... that's a bit more essential!

silverstreak · 15/06/2015 20:36

Oo dodi just made me realise - we never had a "standard" high chair, we have one of those wooden tray-less ones that you get in restaurants that just pulls up to our dining table so maybe that made a difference (as well as eating with her)?

Original poster

jugglingmonkey · 15/06/2015 20:53

Thanks everyone.

No, we don't usually eat with him, it's a bit early for me but I'd gladly change my routine for him so will try this.

His high chair pulls right up to the table, so I think I'll ditch the low table for now... He uses one at nursery but it's clearly not working at home, so best to go backwards a bit I think.

I'll try eating with him.

Also, should he still be having milk in the morning or straight to breakfast? We still give milk but I think perhaps this is filling him up too much?

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silverstreak · 15/06/2015 21:10

DD has milk while i have my coffee at 6-6:30 (about 200ml) in front of TV, then plays for an hour or so or helps me with DS/chores, then we suit down for breakfast at 8-8:15.... She is 2.3yrs and we have had this same routine for at least the last year....

Original poster

jugglingmonkey · 15/06/2015 21:22

That's what we do too, just wondered if I'm filling him up too much and perhaps that's why he's less interested in food...

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ch1134 · 15/06/2015 21:37

My son hates being restrained and will make a fuss when getting in the buggy or carseat but I just ignore him and he soon gets over it. Mealtimes he will climb into his highchair if hungry and fuss if not. If he really doesn't want to sit in his highchair at mealtimes I give him the option of sitting in a normal chair or on my lap or whatever really, as I don't want him hating mealtimes. He hasn't had milk first thing since he was about 12 months and always eats his breakfast beautifully.

silverstreak · 15/06/2015 21:47

Hmm! Yes maybe try skipping the milk tomorrow and see how you go?! I know that if I'm more than 5 mins at least visibly starting milk my DD is pretty hot on the prompting ("want milk mummy, pleeeeease mummy "!).... And I personally have to have done sort of liquid pretty soon after waking, but if you could get him to have water then go for it - good luck! I am more inclined, though, to think this is more of a boundary-testing issue than a hungry or not issue..... Time will tell!

GlitterTwinkleToes · 15/06/2015 22:02

At times she ate, other times she screamed and thrashed around. They won't starve if they miss a meal, just need to be consistent with them, and if they're hungry they'll eat
I agree with eating with him, it can be the case of you just having a small portion and he will most probably want it off your plate
Five weeks and counting of this, and it's getting easier. Hopefully nearing the end now.

dodi1978 · 15/06/2015 23:08

We've had milk with breakfast from about 13 months. Works for us! He often doesn't drink the whole cup though...

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