New to full time WOHP - struggling with own DCs

[Asleeponasunbeam]

Hi, I'm struggling a bit - not feeling I'm giving my DC anywhere near enough time. And when I am with them, it's not quality time as I'm still in my work head.

This is my situation: DC 6 and 3. I've been working part time, but full time for the last two months. I started a new, full time job this week. I will have all school holidays off.

Dd is at school then after school club. DS has a nanny for 1.5 days and nursery for the rest. Nanny does all morning school runs, I do after school club/ nursery pick ups. Both DC very happy at school and nursery, but by the time I pick them up they're tired and grouchy. It's a twenty minute drive home and then tea and bed!

I suppose my first weeks in the new job are going to be hard. Maybe I'll be able to switch off a bit more when I'm more settled. Any tips for really staying connected with small children when you don't see them enough?

I found switching from pt to ft took both me and my dd about a month or so to "bed in". DD was exhausted from ft nursery and was falling asleep in the car on the way home, making for fractious evenings. It all sorted itself out in time though and you're only 1 week in! Also if I understand correctly this is a brand new job? So that's got to be taking up a lot of head space. Since going ft I only do dd baths every 2nd night unless really needed and save hair washing for weekends which gives us a bit more cuddle and story time. While the weather is warm go easy on yourself and do cold suppers - I used to love finger food meals when I was a kid! Bit of chopped carrot, cucumber, boiled eggs, ham whatever but you can chuck it on the plate and be feeding them within 5 mins of getting in the door.

Also that mn classic - if you don't already have one get a cleaner,frees up your weekend for family time. I also make sure dd and I have one to one time on a weekend without Dh to make up for not having my weekdays at homen I do find dd sometimes needs a nap on a sat afternoon though even at 4 - it's the only time she ever naps, but 50 hours a week is tiring for her. Sorry if I didn't really answer your question. ...

Thanks, that's really reassuring.
I've already cut the baths down, but it's usually quite a pleasant time for them - of course they miss each other during the day too.

Yes, a cleaner. I'll get DH onto that one.

It's a brand new job. Back onto my original career path again. VERY hard (teaching children with complex needs) and brilliant, but so much to get organised. Also a longer commute for now and we're rural so DCs aren't at school/ nursery near home.

I find giving mine 20 mins or so undivided attention every day really helps. We'll usually play a game after dinner/bath. I also still read to him every night and have a little chat afterwards, mine tends to want to chat about his day right before bed and even though I'm exhausted and have a million things to do I always give him that time. Plus as they get older they can stay up a bit later giving you more time together.

Thanks. I always read to them both and DD gets a bit of extra time. She's so tired though that bedtime needs to be early still.

And homework...! It will just have to be the weekends.

My guilt has not been eased today by DD telling her teacher she didn't get breakfast this morning because mummy had gone to work.

She refused to eat breakfast for DH after I had gone.

I feel mortified and worried about what her school will think. They gave her fruit, apparently, because she was 'so hungry'.