Please help me I have failed my son badly

[Failmum]

My DS is 10 and overweight. He wasn't before the age of about 7. I am overweight and have never been able to lose weight in any sustainable way. Today he ate fruit, yoghurt and toast for breakfast, school lunch and lamb curry for dinner with veg side. That's a pretty average day. He is reasonably active PE, playing out, gym type thing twice a week and scouts.

I am v v distressed and overwhelmed that he is heading down a similar route to me and the potential emotional pain that will cause him. I have let him down v v badly but I can't find a way to help him it's as if I am paralysed by it.

I am normally very focussed and decisive. I don't want this for him.

It's ok, he's only ten. Perhaps he is going to shoot up any day now. That can happen at this age.

He's already got some activities going on so that's a great start. Perhaps you could start going swimming together or for a walk. My friend started this recently with her overweight twelve year old and it made such a huge difference so quickly. She couldn't believe it. Their routine is that they do something together every single day. On a Saturday it's an aqua aerobics class. The other days they either go to the pool after school or work and do laps or they get up half an hour early and do a half an hour walk.

For food you might need to look at your portion sizes and any between meal snacking.

He will need access to more protein based snacks to fill him up. A tin of tuna, almonds, carrots and hummus.

It doesn't sound too much food and it seems healthy what you are providing for him, and he is active. These are major things and so well done. Keep doing those things, monitor the sweet/fatty snacks as well as portion sizes and I think he will thin out as he grows.

Easier said than done, but try not to be overwhelmed or project too much the difficulty you have had in this way. Losing weight is the holy grail isn't it?

So eat when hungry, plenty of drinks for hydration - offer drinks to your son as dehydration often gives out hunger signals where really some nice water is just needed.

Hugs to you, please try not to stress too much, if you know in your heart you are feeding him correctly (and from what you have given sounds great to me) then he will become the right body type for him.

My son is 11, has been overweight since ten, but more activity, plus a growing spurt, he is becoming gradually leaner.