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Original poster

How "criminal" would it be for me to be on holiday on dd's first birthday?

77 replies

MrsFogi · 10/11/2006 19:36

I've been looking at the dates for my return to work and trying to work out when dh and I could go skiing (he really needs a holiday as he's been snowed under at work and hasn't had a holiday for about 1.5 years) and the only week that is feasible (because of my return date and when it is low season i.e. when we can afford it) would be the week when dd is 1! I am really torn as part of me thinks this is an occasion we should not miss etc etc and the other part of me thinks that dd will not notice anyway and dh could do with a break etc etc. Any views?

OP posts:

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PrettyCandles · 10/11/2006 19:38

Would you be taking dd with you?

Original poster

MrsFogi · 10/11/2006 19:40

No, that's the thing, we wouldn't take dd with us (as I'd prefer to leave her with my mother than in some creche all day).

OP posts:

NomDePlume · 10/11/2006 19:41

Not criminal but I really wouldn't go on holiday without my child and miss their birthday.

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hamstermunker · 10/11/2006 19:41

I wouldn't.

foxinsocks · 10/11/2006 19:42

she won't really know it's her birthday and you could always do a proper birthday (and pretend it was on a different day) when you got back

It would be my guilt I would worry about!

Frizbe · 10/11/2006 19:42

I wouldn't over her 1st birthday, especially when she looks back at the pictures and figures you weren't there. Any other time is fine, but not over birthdays.

poptot · 10/11/2006 19:42

no wouldn't do it, you can go skiing anytime your daughter only has one first birthday, could you have along weekend away instead.

Greensleeves · 10/11/2006 19:43

I can't imagine missing my child's first birthday

Sorry, obviously it isn't criminal and it's up to you, but I couldn't even consider it.

PrettyCandles · 10/11/2006 19:44

I agree with NdP. 1st bdays are really for the family, as the LO doesn't care. Although she mgiht care when she's older. Why not have a family do for her when you return, making sure to take lots of photos for the album, so that there's a record of her bday party. AFter all, we rarely have the party on the actual day o f the birthday.

DetentionGrrrl · 10/11/2006 19:44

When you look back, and think about their 1st birthday, will you feel ok with being elsewhere?

Not a loaded question, just a thought.

What about a weekend away somewhere in the UK? There are lovely pubs / hotels for a (possibly 'dirty') weekend without it being their birthday?

NomDePlume · 10/11/2006 19:44

Business trips etc, stuff you cannot get out of is one thing, but actively planning to be on holiday without her on her birthday is quite another.

Although of course, she is only a year old and is unlikely to give 2 hoots whether you are there on her birthday or not. So if you are going to go on holiday on a birthday, a 'baby' birthday is prob the best time to do it.

pesme · 10/11/2006 19:45

what pictures? i have never looked at pictures of my first birthday, never mind done a head count. if you really wanted you could have a party when you come back. if you are happy leaving her for a week then go for it. it is just a date.

fennel · 10/11/2006 19:47

I would hold the birthday a different day, say a week before, when you are there. we have done this with Christmas and birthdays, shifted birthdays to weekends so we can all be off together for them, etc. then you have all the photos of you there with them. And they'll never know.

melpomene · 10/11/2006 19:48

Does it have to be a skiing holiday? Couldn't you consider some other sort of holiday where you could take dd1 with you and all enjoy some time together?

lucy5 · 10/11/2006 19:48

I wouldn't, I couldn't imagine missing it.

SherlockLGJ · 10/11/2006 19:51

She wont know any different, but I would. I couldn't do it.

LIZS · 10/11/2006 19:52

Wouldn't feel right to me but might to you . Could you not do a long weekend instead ?

PrincessPeaHead · 10/11/2006 19:53

Well I have to admit that on our first child's first birthday BOTH DH and I were abroad on business. He in south africa, me in amsterdam.

We just moved it to a couple of days later. She didn't know or care - and by moving it we have a photo of the cake with a single candle on it etc which is what counts after all!

Skiing sounds fab

LadyOfTheFlowersIs1Baby1Bump · 10/11/2006 19:54

i wouldnt go on holiday on any of my lo's first but everyone is different.

HappyMumof2 · 10/11/2006 19:54

Message withdrawn

PrincessPeaHead · 10/11/2006 19:55

PS having read the whole thread I feel I must assure you that I haven't felt any guilt about it from that day to this.
But I've never been a very "birthday-ish" person anyway.

I reckon it is the only birthday you CAN miss!

Greensleeves · 10/11/2006 19:56

Reading some of the other posts, I can see that simply moving it and celebrating it on a different day would make no difference to the child. Personally I still couldn't do it though - but it's not as black and white as I thought when I first read the OP.

HappyMumof2 · 10/11/2006 19:56

Message withdrawn

foxinsocks · 10/11/2006 19:57

yes, I must admit that if it was the only week you could do it (to fit in with work etc.), I would go for it - esp if you are going back to work because things will be so hectic once that happens (I imagine!).

foxinsocks · 10/11/2006 19:58

but she would have the pictures

she'd never know if it had been taken a week later or whatever

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