advice for angry DS

[hulksmum]

Looking for advice from people who have been there and got through the other side and now have a well rounded child.

My DS (9) has anger issues. He will swear black is white and vice versa. He has a very competitive attitude and always wants to win or have the last word. He can be very off hand and doesn't like to talk about his feelings or how his bahaviour impacts on other people.

This attitude does not spill over to school.

DH and I have started being firmer with what type of attitued we expect from him - picking up when it's not acceptable. Putting firmer boundaries in place and also making more time for him (and the other DC) with fun activities that we can do as a family to start enjoying our time together.

What i suppose i'm wondering is, does this work, will it work, has it worked - should i be being harder/softer, more in control, less in control of his actions - i feel just a little bit lost and we so want to get it right with him while we can and still have an influence over him.

Any advice gratefully received

hi their, I have a 16 yrs old who use to be so angry all the time and unpunishable I have taken him to the doctors and everything and got no where the only thing I found worked with him was to write a list of everything he enjoys and every time he did something at home or every time I got a letter or phone call from school he'd have something he enjoyed taken away from him i.e xbox and also not shouting and getting angry with him as hard as It is sometimes just tell him what he has lost and for how long and explain why that's the only thing i found worked now my lad is a lot better and is doing well at school and is going to college. I hope you work things out for all of you it can be stressful hang in their.

Thanks mum0109 - when did you first think you needed help (how old) and when did he start to settle down?

Hi I new he needed help from the age of 2 and he's only just in the 2 years settled down been a long journey with him but getting their now

Do you think it's a maturity thing, that he's now grown up a bit more and not so ruled by his emotions?

I worry that if he can't learn to control his temper, what kind of man is he going to grow into ?

I am not sure but belive me my lad has a temper on him but he's like his dad didn't think he would ever change but for a 16 yr old he is still a very imature boy compared to other lads so not sure if it is a maturity thing