How to explain to 10 year old why certain games aren't ok "when everyone else has them"?

[Nena7]

My son has played some games at his friend's house (Clash of Clans in particular). As it's a 13 game, he is not able to play it on his tablet as we have blocked it. I need to explain to him why I don't want him to play this and why this isn't ok. I know he will be really upset and say things like "you treat me like a baby" and "everyone else is allowed" (which many are but I don't like this game at all) Any suggestions?

What is it you don't like about Clash of Clans?

I tend to look up Common Sense Media here and look at the reviews with my kids. Then we talk about the issues raised - with this game, its the global chat that most people are bothered by.

Then, if we agree that it's not right (and I have the final say), we look together for something that is similar but doesn't have the issues.

At the end of the day, we are the parents, and we are banning these games to protect them, not to annoy them. I've found when I explain my reasoning, and tell them the kind of things they could be exposed to, then they understand.

No experience of video games, but children since time immemorial have come out with "it's not fair, everyone else is allowed to", or "so-and-so is allowed to".

But maybe you should check why it is for age 13.

clash of clans is innocuous. my ds (8) plays it as do I. I do keep an eye on the chat as there can be swearing,etc but on the whole it is fine

I'm strict on certification on games and movies. Ds1 is ten and isn't allowed to play clash of clans or in fact any game that has a rating that is above his age. There are tons of games that are fine for ten year olds and which don't involve exposure to online chat and swearing/ganging up etc.

I am lucky in that ds1 has real strength of character and will simply say if he's at someone else's house "I'm sorry I'm not allowed to play that can we play this instead" I've explained to him that there are things that aren't appropriate for children and I don't want him seeing things that might upset him or make him worry or rush him through life because although he's growing up fast its nice to slow down a bit and enjoy the things for his age group.

Clash of clans is a 13 because of the interconnectivity between players.

If you play with him, so he cannot interact freely with unknowns, then you remove that risk (as long as he cannot access the game when you're not around). Most of the time, though, communications are utterly innocuous (ie about the game) but watch out for swearing.

Also, it's not suitable until you're sure they don't mind their constructions being destroyed in battle. Griefing others is a main part of how you play.

I'm pretty strict with age categories too, but not rigid- the categorisers- if that's a word- don't have the same priorities as me. For example, when it comes to films, I am quite relaxed about language, reasonably relaxed about sex but very strict about violence.

I can't see anything about CofC that would make it a 13 except the interconnectivity. And if you have a rule that he doesn't talk to anyone he doesn't know in real life, then it's fine.

And for what it's worth, the "but everyone else has got it" line is worth thinking about. Sometimes it's true, and sometimes it's a good idea to compromise a bit so they can fit in socially, particularly when they get to secondary school. It's much easier to draw the line at the things you feel really strongly about if you've shown yourself to be flexible on less important things.

Hakluyt
That is why I like Common Sense Media, because you can find out what the game is really like before you buy. And often, when a game is classified as 13, it's because of online chat - it's a legal thing because these companies are based in US.

I'm like you. I don't rely totally on age classifications, and sometimes ban games that are 'ok' for them, if I don't like e.g. the level of violence.

I've reported your spam post. Again. Will you stop spamming these boards, it is SO unprofessional.

How very DARE you forbid your son from playing the GREATEST mobile game EVER CREATED?!?!?!?!? Honestly this is an outrage and you should be ashamed.