Am I simply a crap mother? views please on school run fiasco

[kittywits]

Ok, my present situation, 5 kids age 8 to 10 months and am 5 months preg.
Relationship with dp not good to say tyhe least, it's a strictly parenting, trying to make things work for the kids but no love or affection involved.
I've had a couple of bereavments this year as well. So all in all I feel tired, emotionally and physically. This afternoon at school run time I not only had all of my 5 with me but was bringing home two friends.
There is a little walk from the school to a pub carpark that everyone uses, it's a village school so every one know every one.

Anyway when I get to the car I'm loading kids in and I hear a mother called my name. She is a particularly precious mother of an only child who can do no wrong, you get the picture. She asks me if I have lost a child and I say not that I know. She then says that I have and she is at school. So I am amazed because I think that I have counted them all in and run off to see dd2 (3) being lead by the hand to the crossing.

I get her, she's fine btw but I feel mortified and so embarassed. I know this woman will be gossiping about me saying I can't cope etc. I have left dd2 once before but went back to get her and she hadn't even realised I was gone.
It was just the way this woman looked at me and the faces she pulled that didn't hide her disdain.
So now I feel shit. I shouldn't but I do.
Anyway, thank for bearing with this rambling post.
Am I really losing it or what, does anyone ele have similar experiences or is it simply me being a shit ,careless and incompetent mother?

oh god youre not a crap mother at all.i think the woman is a right bitch if shes going to slag you off. if it had been me then i would have been glad to help and thought "you poor cow, youve got your hands full there"

smile sweetly when you see her

I spend my life counting my kids and I only have 3!!

I feel you feel the way you do as you are upset you didn't notice one child was missing and I think you shouldn't waste any more time on this woman. It really comes across as trying to make out she was good and you were cr*p from the way she spoke to you. Your child was safe, nothing happened and yes, see it as a wake up call to count the children. For goodness sake you had about a million with you.

You are clearly feeling down with the way things are with your husband so concentrate on trying to sort things out there, and don't waste anymore time on someone who doesn't matter.

You are not losing it, you are not a shit, careless or incompetant mother and we have ALL done things we have been mortified about later.

Sit down tonight and eat some chocolate, and then some for me, read a magazine and have a lovely soak in a bubble bath. Take care.

These things happen. You sound like a wonderful caring mother to me. That woman sounds like a bitch.

Oh dear, don't worry about this womans opinion of you, if she judges you and talks about you she clearly isn't a nice woman anyway. We all have lost children or will lose children at some point, i have been seen frantically running up the road outside school thinking my ds had bolted out the gate, loads of people were helping me search and all along he was in thje playground.
I have four kids and struggle to find the time/energy for playdates, the fact that you even do this makes it clear to me you are doing just fine. Sod women with superiority complexes they aren't worth the worry

no it was a slip up, can happen to all of us how ever many kids we have. NOthing bad happened, so just forget about it.

I'm sorry you're having a bad time. Sounds like things are really stressful for you at the moment. Do you think you could be depressed or is this a one off feeling?

No I don't think you're a crap mother just cos one of your kids escaped out of your view and you didn't notice. She's a toddler they are genius at doing this. Mine does it and I've only got the one! IF you're bad what does that make me!

About the other woman - she may gossip about it, but tbh how many people that she speaks to are going to be able to say, hand on heart, that it has never happened to them? Probably very few if any. Ignore it - if she does use it for gossip her opinion is worth shit all anyway.

kitty...... you are a great mother!

but commandeering 7 kids to a car is a big deal! i struggle with DS and DD sometimes.....it is hard to leep track of them, especially if it is busy and everyone elses kids are running around...

ignore her look of disdain..you are an angel to be bringing home 2 extra kids as it is!!!

everyone who knows you at school and in RL will know you are a good mum...don;t give it another thought!!

i lost DS when he was in recpetion and had to spend 10 minutes running round the park screaming his name! and then restraining myslef from slapping him when i found him giggling behind a shed in the playground! and i had not had DD yet!!!

((hugs))

you are a star, a hero looking after 5 children, not too many people can do it.

Would she prefer it if you put the children on leads?

Or perhaps used an electric cattle prod to ensure they walked in a perfectly straight line at all times?

This 'particularly precious mother' has shown herself up if all she could do was sneer.

With seven children to look after, you had a lot on your plate - and she didn't even have the basic instinct to ask if you wanted a hand, let alone the manners.

Please don't let some superior woman on the school run spoil your evening.

please don't feel shit. I have four and I am constantly losing track of them at the park etc. so now I only go to ones with 6ft high perimeter fences
Twice I have had the neighbours bringing back ds, once it was the cow next door. She has three, the youngest two are total brats, but she still looks down her nose at mine. She was so snooty I felt awful. I was sure I had counted them all in the door but somehow ds1 (4) was left outside! I'm sure it happens to most mums at some point.

god i haev done that before and i am not crap
so there oyu are

Oh and I am aalways forgetting who I should be picking up when, at least twice I have been really late picking up ds1 from pre-school because I forgot he was there and not with the cm or someone.

I remember when you did it cod, wasn't it at a playground?

Thankyou everyone for your lovely and kind words of support, it has made me cry . I think I am probably depresed to an extent, but am working really hard on my self esteem.

oh GOD he crossed a road
in fact it has happened more han once but htat wa sthe WORST

three kdis - liek herding jelly

I think you're amazing to say the least. Like many here I've only got two ds's and they already a handful. Wouldn't it have been far better if she'd have brought dd with her or at least said. Goodness me you've got your work cut out for you today shall I go and fetch the one that got away for you.

You are not a bad parent at all. We all have moments like this.

I remember it !! have toyed with a sheep dog for my four , it is really congested by our gate and we often get split up, I hate picking the kids up, often stand in the playgound until its a bit quieter so bad that i am at keeping track of my kids

Oh you are SO not a crap mother!! A crap mother is one who doesnt CARE about her children, not someone who makes an honest mistake when you have your hands full!! I couldnt cope with all those children so well done!! Plus you are pregnant, you have baby brain!

Ignore that woman, she can be smug all she wants but she is WRONG. Pat yourself on the back we are all admiring you here!

Well, I AM crap, and I've done it too. But what makes me crap and you not is that I only have two children.

about the home situation kw.

I took 2 of ds friends to a wildlife park with ds on his birthday - I had 3 other adults (none of them related to the friends) with me. And I was worn out after an hour of making sure I didn't lose them.

You do it every day. With children talking at you - all excited from school I'm not at all surprised. As you say it's a village school and everyone knows everyone, she was safe - there was no problem.

And I am the mother of an only child.

those pregnancy hormones make you forget your own head anyway, never mind the odd kid or two - I've been giving myself total slack since doing the test til a year afterwards. hope you feel a bit better about it all

I am smiling more now, thankyou ladies.it's just I feel i have to be extra good to show people that i can cope with all these children i have. i know there are some really supportive mothers out there but i know there are some who disapprove of how many kids i have.
I KNOW I shouldn't give a shit.
I so want to tell this woman that I feel really angry about her reaction . I am shocked at how unsupportive she was.

...what on earth are you doing taking on an extra two children woman !!!! You've got enough on your plate what with being pregnant and looking after your little ones too !!!!!..... If this woman starts to snipe maybe you could give her a swift slap across the face...then apologise profusely claiming that you are under such great stress as she recently witnessed....

last year a mum in dds class left her baby in the class room in its car seat, and drove off before she remembered and turned round and she only had 3!
Can not imagine how you manage with 5 that age-you are doing a fab job. Perhaps mrs snotty nose could borrow a couple for a few hours and see how she manages

No,you aren't crap at all, children are slippery little things !! However,just because this woman has just one child does not make her precious,just as having so many makes you crap.You are surely knackered and not having a brill time of it by all accounts,and 7 kids is a lot,be a bit selfish and don't knacker yourself further by doing favours for people.

Kittywits feel free to tell me to mind my own business.

But why six kids? It's quite unusual, in the UK, to have so many (and as someone who wanted more than I have ended up with I am quite envious of your brood).

Agree with everyone else about your school run incident by the way!