Baby hysterical during car journeys

[Mrsmumb]

Hi, my 4mo can not stand the car, even if I sit in the back with him whilst dh drives and fuss, or play with him. Equally if I totally ignore him he just screams and screams til he's coughing and choking, he stops the second he is in my arms (luckily we're never more than 20 minutes from home) but tomorrow we are going on a long journey, I am dreading it, any tips or suggestions as to what I can do??

Probably obvious, but have you tried different types of music? I've downloaded a lot of kids songs and that seems to work for DS.

Or how about mobiles with music you can attach to the carseat handle?

Dummy worked for us.

We had this until I realised I had the straps too tight and the bit at his groin was probably squashing his bits! Make sure he's not roo warm either and get a carseat mobile to distract him!

Hmm not sure, is it stuffy in the car? My little one hated being somewhere unventilated at that age. I can't think of anything else other than that the car may have a strange smell (is there one of those deoderiser trees in it or something)?

I remember this well. DS was the world's biggest car seat hater. I'm sorry to say, but for us it didn't change until he went into a forward facing seat (did want him to stay rear facing for as long as poss, but decided that it was actually more unsafe me being so distracted by trying to placate the screams, so bought the safest forward facing seat I could get). He was just an awkward bugger generally, didn't like the bucket shape I don't think and got bored. A nursery rhyme CD did help a little, but we had to play Old MacDonald on repeat at a very specific volume. I used to crack under the pressure every so often and stop at the roadside to get him out as I thought he was genuinely distressed, then he'd just stop immediately. Sorry, no helpful advice, but it will get better once it's easier to distract him with books etc.

Oh, pp has reminded me that opening the window a very specific amount would help as it created white noise.

my little one is also 4 months and exactly the same. This will sound really odd I know, but the only thing that stopped him crying during a 1.5 h car journey was me sitting crumpling and empty bag of boiled sweets in front of his face. I think he also doesn't like being curled up in his 0 car seat, we have a Britax one now that does up to 4 years, he sits much straighter in that and can see out the window so doesn't complain half as much. sorry, I realise that isn't much help for tomorrow. good luck!

We have the britax seat too and it's made a lot of difference. Showing videos of my son on the iPhone helps. He loves himself!

You might also want to try singing/clapping/books.

Oh and don't leave until nap time!

DD was like that for the first 5 months- it was really stressful. She suddenly grew out of it. I got a mirror to view her in and she quite likes looking in it and seeing a bit more. Does he have reflux? A lot of reflux babies don't like being in car seats.

I know it's not very helpful, but I think it's just one of those things. My DD is 13 months now and is still hysterical in the car, holds her breath, cries until she is sick. So you have my sympathy. One thing you could try is a white noise app on your phone. This used to work with her a little. Hope your journey goes quickly

my ds2 was like that.

White noise
Tiny love clip and go mobile
When DS was a little older (5 months or so), I had an app thing on my computer that generated bright colours and patterns on the screen in time to music which calmed him.

Obvious thing to try: can you time the journey with a nap?

My DS was the same at 4mo. We found that moving him to a group 0+/1 car seat helped enormously. He is a big baby (99th centile for length) and even though he would still fit the weight requirements for an infant carrier at almost 11mo, I think he was just a bit uncomfortable and wanted to be a bit more upright. Like I say, we switched at around 7mo and he was much better but still needs a dummy, soft toy to cuddle on car journeys. We have an ERF seat but think he will be Forward facing come 15months to see if that helps.

My DD was like that. I dreaded all car journeys, nothing really worked to be honest! She would get so upset she used to be sick and choke, a bit like you have described. From around 4/5 months I used to put loads of toys on her lap to explore. As she got bigger (around 7 months) I could give her snacks which kept her quiet for short journeys. Sorry I know this doesn't help as you asked for ideas for now.. How about some sensory bottles? Empty bottles with pasta, water and glitter etc for him to play with on the journey.

My DD got so much better as she got older, she has just turned two now and she is fine in the car. She will be getting little brother or sister in August and I am really hoping for a baby that sleeps in the car, rather than screams. We'll see!

Good luck with the journey tomorrow.

Classical music CDs helped us. We had a children's classicsl music one we were given which worked best.

Thanks folk, I really hope he gets over it sooner rather than later! I think he has sussed that I do not pick him up when he is in the car and so gets himself in a state when we start to move, he is happy in the car seat anywhere else.
My strategy is thus;
.Time journey with nap
.Sit in back with him armed with plenty of dummies and toys. And an empty sweet packet
.Kindle fire loaded with sensory videos to classical music.
.I have an expressed bottle which I might stick in his gob although I don't hold out much hope with that one.
I'll let you all know how I get on!

Just a note re the bottle, I fed dd in the seat once when she was about that age and she got terrible wind! I think from the scrunched up position and she couldn't stretch out. From then on I made sure we were parked to feed her if it was really necessary and wind her then put her back when she was sleepy. She was quite windy generally though. I found she really liked the mirror in the headrest (so you can see them from your rear view mirror) once I'd angled it down a bit so she could see herself.

Dd2 was AWFUL in the car for ages until she was about 4-5 months and now is fine at 9 months.

She goes in the front passenger seat (haven't tried her in the back for a couple of months but she hated it then) and removing the seat pad / infant head insert really made a difference too.

Good luck. It's so horrendous and stressful.

DS2 is like this with the added 'bonus' that he won't even cry himself to sleep anymore. Last time he screamed for 1.5hr. I was crying by the end too :(
Hoping he just grows out of it but basically we avoid car journeys unless totally necessary. He's getting better on shorter journeys so there is hope but if he's even a little bit hungry or tired its game over. It's so distressing. I think he'll be happier forward facing as I basically think he's bored/frustrated/uncomfy and can't switch off and go to sleep. He's such a nosey curious baby I think forward facing will keep him happier. He's almost 6mo so about half way there til he can turn.....
I feel your pain!!

success! it was the timing the journey with the nap, a particular toy that has a ringing bell type sound and the tablet that did it.
DS screamed initially so I immediately started rattling the toy, when I had his attention I got the sensory video up which grabbed him and he watched for 5 minutes before falling asleep!
I can't begin to explain what a break through this is, i had the calpol lined up!
I'm going to invest in one of those tablet holders that you can hang over the car seat and put him in the front for journeys where I have to drive solo!

Hooray!

excellent!

I have a 6mo like this.

OP, What's the tablet holder thing and would it work on a back seat?

Am thinking of trying putting her in front too as a PP suggested

I have 3dcs, it would mean a little shuffling about in the car!