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Parenting

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Original poster

What to call step- grandfather?

87 replies

Sleepyhoglet · 19/04/2015 20:34

My mum has asked that her first grandchild calls her nana. She's only a baby so not calling her anythibgb right now! We call her nana but what should we call her partner. I was thinking maybe papa followed by his 1st name.

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rugbychick · 20/04/2015 09:12

My step grandmother (who married my grandfather before I was born) was Nana. My grandfather was Grampy. My step cousins (from the children Nana had before her first husband died and she married Grampy) called him Grampy too

Original poster

Sleepyhoglet · 20/04/2015 10:34

Forgot to mention she has one 'proper' grandad but I doubt she'll ever see him and the other has died.

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Sleepyhoglet · 20/04/2015 10:36

It's tricky as my mum only got with this man after I left home so he's not really a step dad to me, but he is a nice chap etc etc! So it's a bit weird but he lives with my mum and is happy to play with my dd so is easenty a grandad but won't have that love for her that my mum does.

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0x530x610x750x630x79 · 20/04/2015 10:38

my son has 3 full sets of grandparents all called grandad/grandma style names

lovesmycake · 20/04/2015 10:42

I don't understand? My stepmum who also got together with my dad after I left home definitely has the same love for all her grandchildren, step or not? Why wouldn't she, she has known them all from birth and we are all a family?

I would just call him some variation of grandad no need to acknowledge the 'step' part at all.

lovesmycake · 20/04/2015 10:45

I'm willing to accept I might be biased - My dad and stepmum were both widowers so that might make for an easier blended family?

Also my stepmum is pretty amazing :)

PeterParkerSays · 20/04/2015 10:58

My DS's Step-grandfather is Grandy [name]. His step-Grandmothers are all just Nana though, in the same way as their parents' mothers are.

SunnyBaudelaire · 20/04/2015 11:09

"It's tricky as my mum only got with this man after I left home so he's not really a step dad to me,"

in that case, have your child call him 'Alan' or whatever his name is.

iwantgin · 20/04/2015 11:13

Anything. My DS has/had 5 grandads!

Even his newest set of grandparents (my DH's parents) he has only known for about 8 years but he calls them grandma and grandad. uses their first name with it for clarification if talking about them to us.

He may not be your 'stepdad' but to your new DC they will have known him all their lives. I too don't call my stepdad by his name, and have known him for umm 40 years.

iwantgin · 20/04/2015 11:14

I need the 'edit' button.

I do call my stepdad by his name. Not 'dad'. Is what I meant to say.

CrabbyTheCrabster · 20/04/2015 11:17

Sunny why does that mean he can't be grandad? My mum's partner (relationship started long after I'd left home) has always been grandad to my DD and he absolutely dotes on her. They have a wonderful relationship and he is the only grandad she has and she is the only grandchild he'll ever have. Love doesn't require a blood connection.

GooseyLoosey · 20/04/2015 11:18

My children have a step-granddad. He has been Grandpa since they were born. Other grandparents are Granddad (now dead) and Far-Far (Danish side of family).

Grandpa has been the best granddad possible and the kids love him to bits.

SunnyBaudelaire · 20/04/2015 11:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrabbyTheCrabster · 20/04/2015 11:26

Are you fucking serious Sunny? Because one child abuser murdered a young girl you think that children should only call blood relatives grandad? Do you think that Tia Sharpe called her murderer had some bearing on why he killed her? What fucking nonsense.

CrabbyTheCrabster · 20/04/2015 11:26

*what she called him

SunnyBaudelaire · 20/04/2015 11:31

personally I think that all these pretended family relationships where a random man gets with a woman and becomes 'step dad' or 'step grandad' without even any commitment on his part, are potentially dangerous for children, and not only with that one example.

reallybadidea · 20/04/2015 11:33

Just depends on your relationship I think. DH's father left his mother for another woman while I was pregnant with ds1. She is not, and never will be, their grandmother so they call her by her first name.

SunnyBaudelaire · 20/04/2015 11:36

same as us reallybadidea, my dad left my mum for another woman, she will never be 'granny' nor would she want to be.
In fact she loved telling me that they were expecting 'their first grandchild' quite ignoring the first five from me and my bro!

Dukketeater · 20/04/2015 11:37

I call both my step grandparents by their name, so do all of my cousins. But then our actual grandparents are still around so it never made sense to call them anything other than their name

AGirlCalledBoB · 20/04/2015 11:38

My son calls my mum's husband solely by his name. But he became her husband a good few years after I left home so to myself and my sister we did not really deal with him as a stepfather. However his other step grandfather he calls grandad

reallybadidea · 20/04/2015 11:40

Sounds tough Sunny. Luckily we don't see much of step FIL and her - they didn't see my younger two until they were months old and have only visited us 3 times in the last 14 years!

MustBeLoopy390 · 20/04/2015 11:49

My dd calls my stepdad 'grandad (name)' but dh's parents (she's not related) nanmar and grandar, same as all their biological grandchildren, she chose to do all these by herself (obviously with dh's parents she had heard her cousin calling them nanmar and grandar and it just stuck, as it has with all the younger ones too)

SunnyBaudelaire · 20/04/2015 11:49

does it reallybad? I am given to understand that I have no right to complain about anything.
Wish we had only seen ours only that often like you.

reallybadidea · 20/04/2015 11:57

Sunny, I'd have been devastated if my father had left my mother. I don't think I'd want anything to do with him, so I think you (and my dh) are remarkably resilient to be able to have any kind of relationship with your parent and new partner.

mumofboyo · 20/04/2015 12:00

My dc call their step-grandad, my step-dad, grandad [his surname]; just like they call their 'real' grandad, my 'real' dad, grandad [his surname]. It's never been an issue and neither have a problem with it.
Ask your mum's partner what he'd rather be known as and call him that.

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