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Parenting

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Original poster

night feeds when dp is back to work

54 replies

nk1605 · 04/04/2015 17:52

Just wondering how you work the night time feeds when your partner is back at work? Do you share them still or do you

OP posts:

PotteringAlong · 04/04/2015 17:54

I'm bf so I do them all.

Original poster

nk1605 · 04/04/2015 17:54

Sorry posted too soon!

do you do all the night feeds to let your dp sleep or do you share some of them still? I don't know how to work it, I know he'll need more sleep for work but then ill be with dd all day and knackered too!

OP posts:

PrimroseEverdeen · 04/04/2015 17:55

I did every night feed until my DS started sleeping through at 9 months. I did breastfeed but probably would have done this anyway as my DH had to get up early for work and had a long commute. I didn't think it was fair to expect him to do night wakings then go to work. It would have been nice to have a break at the weekend though!

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trilbydoll · 04/04/2015 17:57

With dc1 I did them all because I could nap during the day, and didn't have to think too hard! I think with dc2 we might have to think about more of a shift system so maybe I go to bed early so I get a few hours uninterrupted, just so I'm not a zombie in charge of a toddler the next day

WorkingItOutForMyself · 04/04/2015 17:57

We share :-) I do the majority of middle of the nights, and all of them when he has to go to London for work as its over an hours drive. He does most at the weekend.

If he's really tired then obviously I do them all. Vice versa too if possible!

If we are both struggling, I go to bed at 8/9 and he's on 'duty' till 12:30 and that means I at least get one decent stretch!

He does have to work but he doesn't work far away and he appreciates how long and relentless some of my days can be even if I'm not 'working'.

WorkingItOutForMyself · 04/04/2015 17:58

Oh and I would nap in the day if my child would sleep for more than 20 mins at a time!! it will come....

Roseybee10 · 04/04/2015 18:03

We shared with dd1 and do again.
I try and do the middle of the night feed but he's on duty til 1am so I go to bed at 9.30 and then im usually up for two hours for the night feed and then dd1 is up at 7.

bonniebear · 04/04/2015 18:08

He should get up and do them as well.

Madratlady · 04/04/2015 18:09

He helped on a Friday and Saturday night, we have one lie in each at the weekend. I couldn't bf though, if I had then I would have had to do them all.

feministdog · 04/04/2015 18:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

feministdog · 04/04/2015 18:16

This reply has been deleted

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BackforGood · 04/04/2015 18:19

DH and I did Alternate nights

JemFinch · 04/04/2015 18:48

I did Sunday - Monday, he did Friday and Saturday.

m33r · 04/04/2015 20:35

Like PPs I do them all but he is on duty from 9-12/1am. This gives me a good stretch of sleep. On work nights he can also end up in the other bed. At weekends, same applies but I get up with LO at 7 and let dh sleep til 10. At weekends dh stays in bed with me (doesnmt go in the spare room when I'm feeding) so even though he's not feeding, we're having sleep interrupted together.

Our view is that one of us should always feel not utterly completely xombified and we think this system works for us.

my baby is 3 weeks old so not sure if we will always see it this way but so far it's working great and feels 'fair' to both of us

ch1134 · 04/04/2015 22:21

Breastfed so I did them all, even after I went back to work at 6 months! One for you to work out with your partner.

poocatcherchampion · 04/04/2015 22:24

I feed, I kick dh if I want him to get up. Still works now when they are 1 and ,3. He is completely uncomplaining and cooperative.

moomoob · 04/04/2015 22:44

I do them all baby is generally only up once in the night, if I asked dh to do it I'd probably have to wake him up and be watching / listening to make sure he does it right anyway so it's just easier to do it myself. He does put the older dcs to bed and gets up with them in a morning so I suppose that's how we share it out.

Bunbaker · 04/04/2015 22:51

I breastfed so I did them all.

If DD had been bottle fed I think I probably would have done most of them because I didn't have to get up early or go to work. I don't think it is fair for the parent who goes out to work to do the night feeds as well, especially if they are doing a job where the safety of others is dependent on them, for example bus/train driver, airline pilot, emergency services employee etc.

Tangoandcreditcards · 04/04/2015 23:05

DS is 14mo and still doesn't sleep through. We stopped feeding at about 9mo when I went back to work. DH is SAHD.

There are often 5-6 night wakings (water, dummy, just resettling) still that need attending to (it is getting better, I hope). And it's a 5-6am start. DP does Sun-Thu, I do Fri and Sat. I try and do one in the week if my work timetable isn't too hectic.

bonniebear · 05/04/2015 05:33

I went back after a few weeks maternity
I still got up in night tofeed babies and still was up for 7 for work every morning. Surely any decent parent would want to? If you are too tired/have no energy to do it and and work you probably are not right for parenting

NerrSnerr · 05/04/2015 06:11

I breastfeed so do all the night feeds. If the baby is very unsettled then he will go in to her, but as he has to work I try not to disturb him too much.

MaryWestmacott · 05/04/2015 06:57

Assuming not breast feeding if this is something you can share, DH was on duty until 11pm, then me. I'd go to bed around 9pm. He'd do a bottle around 10:30pm (we mixed fed, bf most the time but the 10:30 was either formula or expressed milk then), I'd then get through until around 3am, so I'd had 6 hours straight sleep, which considering all I had to achieve the next day was "have shower, get dressed" was perfectly manageable.

cupcakesandapples · 05/04/2015 07:15

We shared (dd was a terrible sleeper until she was two). Now im pregnant (cant fit in her bed anymore) he does any wake up shifts with her (maybe once a week) and i get a peaceful night!

I am lucky tho he's very hands on

NickNackNooToYou · 05/04/2015 07:25

I breastfed and so did the lot, however DH had/has a commission based job so it made sense for him to sleep and me get up.

All these years later, I'm the one up with the kids. Never been jealous of those who share getting up total lie, I'm green with envy

Blankiefan · 05/04/2015 08:14

Whilst I was on mat leave, I did all the week night feeds and one weekend night.

Since I returned to work at six months we've done alternate nights. Dd had dropped night feeds by about four months tho. We still take nights each (she's 1.5 now) for general needs but she sleeps fine 80% of the time.

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