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Parenting

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Original poster

night feeds when dp is back to work

54 replies

nk1605 · 04/04/2015 17:52

Just wondering how you work the night time feeds when your partner is back at work? Do you share them still or do you

OP posts:

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 05/04/2015 08:17

I did Sun-Thurs nights. He did Fri and Sat. I got a lie in Sat AM and he got a lie in Sun Am.

Now we have two dcs (im still on Mat Leave), we alternate every other night as (his words!) Two little kids is a full time job too. Especially when one of them doesnt nap any more.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 05/04/2015 08:18

Should have added my first was only while I was on ML. When I returned to work it was a night each alternaticely

bwow · 05/04/2015 10:44

I too have a dh that will do a small shift between hours of 9 and 11.30, dd is 8 weeks and those few hours gear me up for the two hour feed between 12 and 2

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Bunbaker · 05/04/2015 15:05

"If you are too tired/have no energy to do it and and work you probably are not right for parenting"

Wow!
Did you really mean that?

Sits back and waits for the missiles.

HeyMicky · 05/04/2015 15:13

I used to go to bed at 7, DH gave DD a bottle of expressed milk at 10/11 then I was on duty from the next wake up. So we each usually got a full 6 hours

violator · 05/04/2015 16:51

If you're "not right for parenting" there's fuck all you can do about it now, no?
What a bizarre statement.

moomoob · 05/04/2015 17:00

Lol bunbaker that was my thoughts exactly. Must be really hard being a super perfect parent who never gets tired god help the rest of us who occasionally run low on energy our children must be so neglected

bonniebear · 05/04/2015 17:04

You obviously get tired but surely a normal parent would want to look after their baby whether working or not? I know I definitely did.

bonniebear · 05/04/2015 17:06

I am talking about men who never get up with their babies, and say they are too tired just because they work. I mean really

antumbra · 05/04/2015 17:14

My OH never did any nighttime feeds. Breastfeeding.

Littlemonstersrule · 05/04/2015 17:29

DH did them on a Friday but I did the rest as only fair as being on maternity leave means no work to concentrate on and being able to rest when you want. Unfair to expect the person working to work all day then be up all night.

bonniebear · 05/04/2015 17:48

You are still working though. I suppose it doesn't apply so much with 1, but people who go on to have a few more probably won't feel that way. I think it is selfish of the working parent not getting up tbh.

Bunbaker · 05/04/2015 17:54

"You obviously get tired but surely a normal parent would want to look after their baby whether working or not? I know I definitely did."

There is no need to be so smug about it
a) Some babies wake up several times a night
b) Not everyone has your energy levels and ability to cope with very little sleep
c) most of us aren't perfect parents like you clearly are, or have perfect babies like you clearly do.

"I think it is selfish of the working parent not getting up tbh."

I think it is selfish of the non working parent to expect the working parent to get up on nights when they have to get up for work the next morning.

bonniebear · 05/04/2015 18:00

Dh would never expect it, but you have surely you have just had a child? A) if you have been working all day you will want to see it a lot b) it is not fair making one person never having proper sleep.

I don't think I have perfect babies. One has autism and one has medical issues. I wish I did. Silly argument anyway as I am sahms side, and I am not even one so if you want to do it is up to you

bonniebear · 05/04/2015 18:03

All my point is op is you don't have to struggle and do it all yourself, and hopefully your partner won't want you to. Just because you are at home you are still working, often harder than the working parent so try and share it as a team. Good luck x

Bunbaker · 05/04/2015 18:06

It's academic anyway as DD was breastfed so I did get up for all the feeds. And she had medical issues as well, so we were both up a lot at night.

bonniebear · 05/04/2015 18:08

Yeah I breastfed one of mine for a long time. Dh still got up as well, and I do feel for people who haven't got a dh that will help out a it is tiring business. I probably feel like I have millions now (well at least it feels like it!) No way would I do all night feeds alone now, or vice versa. I would be a zombie!

PrincessGeorge · 05/04/2015 18:28

I did Sunday to Thursday, always had a sneaky nap during the day, and then he did Fri and Sat nights and we alternated the weekend lie ins.

Chchchchanging · 05/04/2015 18:42

I did all all the time on account he had to go to work and I didn't
When maternity leave had finished I still did bulk as woke better and managed on less sleep better- and as he had 200 mile round commute worried about his driving!
It balanced in that he did bulk housework and weekend nappies lol

Ineedacleaningfairy · 05/04/2015 19:08

With dc1 I did all the night wakings as I breastfed and dp has one of those jobs where tiredness could be dangerous.

Dc2 is also breastfed but he likes to just wake up randomly in the middle of the night a chat shout for an hour, dp gets up with him at the weekends when he's just chatting and not hungry but I still do the weekday night times. Dp gets up with the toddler (who sometimes wakes at 5.30) and I get lie ins every Saturday and Sunday.

MadgeMak · 05/04/2015 19:19

I breastfed both my babies so did all night feeds. With my first I napped during the day when she napped to catch up on sleep, with my second my eldest was at pre school 3 days at week so I napped on those days. If I'd had a rough night because of teething or illness then husband would of course help out.

neversleepagain · 05/04/2015 20:57

I did all night feeds with our twins from Sunday-Thursday, dh did Friday & Saturday. Thankfully night feeds didn't last too long.

bluechameleon · 06/04/2015 18:06

When DS was little and waking a few times, DH did the first shift until about 1 then I did the rest. He would then get up with him at 6ish and I'd lie in until 7ish. At weekends we split it equally. Now he usually sleeps through the one who isn't working (which has just switched from me to DH) does any getting up that is necessary.

m0therofdragons · 06/04/2015 18:25

Dh used to change nappy (taking a couple of minutes) then I'd feed Dd - breast feeding). This was the same when dtds came along but dh also cuddled one dd with his finger in her mouth while laying in bed while I fed other dd then we'd swap and he'd wind the fed dd and settle her while I fed other twin.

I can't think of any job more tiring than caring for a toddler and newborn twins so despite dh's hour drive to work he had to help. I never managed feeding both together as dtd1 didn't have a strong enough latch.

m33r · 06/04/2015 21:32

morherifdragons can I just say, you are amazing! I am BF one pretty 'good' baby with a very supportive dh and am knackered and some days barely surviving the stress snd you have 3!!! Good for you!

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