What to do when dp goes back to work?

[nk1605]

first time mum and dd is nearly 2 weeks old. she will be 3 weeks when dp goes back to work. to be honest, I'm a bit nervous about being on my own with her and coping with everything that needs done like feeds, changes, getting out and about etc without dp's support.

any hints and tips!?

If possible (eg. As long as dp doesn't leave at a ridiculous hour) get yourself up and dressed before he leaves for work.

I found having something planned for every day but stick to just one small thing such as a visitor or going for a weigh in. Also make sure you can do the buggy and the car seat yourself as I struggled last time on my 1st day on my own. finally don't worry about house work etc. and make sure you have things that are easy to prepare and eat during the day.

I found the fear of the unknown was worse than the reality.

Either arrange for someone to come round for lunch or make a pack lunch the night before for the first few days. Then at least you won't starve!

It doesn't take long to get into the swing of things, you'll be fine

Don't give yourself a hard time if you don't manage to get out or get dressed on the first few days (or any day thereafter after a truly terrible nights sleep). Once you get going having a shower before DH leaves the house is good, but I wouldn't do it at the expense of some more sleep!

Also don't worry if the house is a mess when DH gets in, I also plan a ready meal for the first few nights back at work. I am not sure where the time goes with a newborn but it seems to just go.

It's a cliche but do try to sleep when baby sleeps. Forget about housework for the first wee while & don't feel guilty if you don't manage to get out for the first wee while. Yes to trying to shower/dress before DP leaves but if you don't manage this one day...so what! Remember you're still recovering so be good to yourself. Stock up on plenty of easy to prepare food & plant yourself in front of the TV for the first wee while until you feel ready to get out & about. Don't be ashamed if you have a good cry the first day when DP leaves. It'll probably make you feel better. And you will very quickly get into the swing of things. Enjoy the time spent with your baby, what is most important is bonding time just now.

Make sure DH is clear that his day has been crazy easy compared to yours and he is to do anything and everything you ask of him the minute he walks in the door.

He should be cooking and doing any cleaning that you feel would make you less stressed when he gets home, you're presumably doing a night shift as well as a day shift.

I found having a few tuppaware pots with snacks and water bottles scattered around the house were useful, so if I ended up stuck under a sleeping baby I could at least stave off the hunger and do my best to ignore my bladder until dd deigned to wake.

Getting out the house is for your sanity rather than for the baby, so if you don't feel like it or don't manage it one day, don't feel guilty. But even a walk down the road and back will do you good.

I could have written your post 18 months ago. I can still remember crying on the phone to my dh on his first day back at work after paternity leave. I'd say just be kind to yourself - do what you need to do to get through the day. I did find making plans helped me focus on something, and particularly if I met someone else 'in the same boat' such as another mum or someone who could just empathise. It very honestly wasn't as bad as I thought though - once we were in the swing of it, it was nice to get into a routine (less Gina ford, more just getting dressed at some point). Hope it goes really well xx

Also, I would say that you are not going to break the baby by leaving it alone for a few minutes to go to the loo or grab a tea/snack. Even if it cries, if it's safe it will be fine.

Buy a bouncy chair! You can take the baby into the shower and around the house whilst you are doing things!
Make a little plan for each day to get out-walk, coffee with someone, trip to the supermarket.
I cried my eyes out the day DH went back to work because I was worried, but 10 weeks on I love my days with DS by ourselves. We have such a nice time!

Also get a sling! A soft one that a newborn can sleep in. Then you can do things with both hands free (by that I mean getting yourself some food, reading a book etc, housework for now, be nice to yourself)