For Pete's sake I am at my wits end!

[joanna4]

For the past 6 months my daughter who is 9 almost 10 has to come down within 30 mins minimum of me getting her to bed.It might not sound much but it is doing my head in I have tried reasoning, sanctions of all kinds but nothing is working.I have even made her go to bed mega early to allow for the extra time.She is knackered every morning and she comes down for the most silly things.Sorry if i am off on a rant i just need some mumsnet wisdom!!
jo

What were her sleeping habits before the last 6 months J? Has something changed in her life recently. Something that means she can't just drop off and keeps coming back to you?

well my hubby works away a lot maybe she thinks i am lonely lol.She was always a good sleeper before summer i just hate leaving it all on a bad note every night.My son is better cos i told him he might come down and catch me and his dad at it on the kitchen table( he is older) he never ever comes down now!

Sounds like she is afraid or anxious about something - and is probably embarrassed to tell you because it is something she feels too old to be scared about. Are you really listening to her and giving her a chance to tell you what is really the matter? My son went through this, and without going into too much detail, I went through everything from sanctions to punishments etc, then when I stopped and paid attention to what he was really worried about, I was mortified because he did have a problem he needed my help and support to deal with.

I would agree with 3littlef's if she keeps coming down, and is knackered in the morning, there must be something that is bothering her. Try not to get impatient, go back upstairs with her, sit on her bed... and just chat. See what comes out..

Jo, what she's coming down for.. the little things... ( a drink of water, etc..) is almost CERTAINLY NOT the real reason...