preferring nursery over a nanny - would you?

[Gennz]

So as things have transpired I am going back to work when DS is bang on 6 months. It wasn't the plan but I have been offered a really good, well-paid, part-time, flexible job - rare as hen's teeth! (I'm an in-house lawyer in a niche-ish area).

So I've been going round in circles deciding what childcare to put in place for DS. I'll need care for 3 days a week, 8.30ish to 3.30ish.

I thought initially we'd get a nanny while he is so little, but after contacting a couple of agencies and getting loads of CVs sent through I've decided to put him into a nursery.

The nursery is really good, no qualms about that at all, great staff ratios, lovely building etc and is only a 5 min drive from my new work (as opposed to home which is about a 15 - 20 min drive if I neede t get to him quickly), but I've always thought of a nanny as the best option for a baby, so I'm quite surprised at myself for making this choice. Perhaps I had unrealistic expectations of the nanny candidates (I was envisaging Scarlett Johannssen from The Nanny Diaries not unreasonable at all) or perhaps the agencies were just a bit shit, but I just felt like I couldn't leave my PFB with someone unsupervised, with no high school qualifications who might just park him on the couch infront of MTV all day. (Says the woman mumsnetting while her child rolls around on the playmat). At least at the nursery he'll be in an environment that's independently assessed/monitored with developmental play opportunities etc (not so much an issue now obv, but as he gets a bit bigger). But then I think maybe definitely I'm being a bit snobbish, and also probably it's that I just want to be the only one spending one on one time with him in my own home! I remember reading in that book about French parents "Bringing Up Bebe" that this was one of the reasons French mothers preferred creches.

Long-winded way of asking what would you do, assuming cost wasn't the determining factor?

errr strike through fail!

Nanny all the way. There is no comparison IMVHO - AS LONG AS you get the right nanny.

In the nicest possible way, I think you are kidding yourself about the quality of care at nurseries - although you might be lucky and have found a very good one.

How much of an issue would sick days be? In the first couple of years you will really feel the difference of not having to take days off at the first sign of a sniffle/runny tummy. For that alone a nanny is worth it!

At 6 months Id go for a nanny . I'd probably change to nursery between 12-18 months depending on how confident and interactive baby becomes. You'll know when to make the switch x

Yes that was my view too, until I saw the quality of the candidates!! I've had about 15 CVs through and not one that I'd even consider interviewing, let alone leaving my child with. The nursery is very good - probably one of the best in the city - but a nanny was definitely my preference to start with.

The sickness thing is a concern - but the new work is very flexible about working from home, DH can take sick days and both my mother and MIL will hopefully be able to help out here and there. Will still be an issue though.

We looked at nanny, childminder and nursery. Our choice was nursery.

Our reasoning was that being so small and unable to tell us what was happening, I preferred to have multiple members of staff present when caring for baby as fail safes / witnesses to each other's actions. I felt that there were enough of them to ensure my baby's safety and well being.

There's nothing logical about it, one on one nanny or childminder settings are perfectly good, but I felt oddly uneasy having to put my trust in just one person. Nursery felt like I was spreading the risk if you see what I mean. Just my perspective but it might help.

I'd also go for a nanny. I work part time and have a part time nanny to look after my two (3 yo and 15 months). She started before DC2 was born and is fab - the DCs adore her and I always felt (and still do) that it is so much better for LOs to be able to form a bond with their carer. It won't affect their bond with you, you'll just have a more secure and happy baby!

Nanny takes them out to groups etc too so they're not just at home.

I wasn't too impressed with agencies either so used childcare.co. uk and went through loads of CVs and interviewed 3/4. Nanny stood out easily.

Good luck!

I'd also go for a nanny. I work part time and have a part time nanny to look after my two (3 yo and 15 months). She started before DC2 was born and is fab - the DCs adore her and I always felt (and still do) that it is so much better for LOs to be able to form a bond with their carer. It won't affect their bond with you, you'll just have a more secure and happy baby!

Nanny takes them out to groups etc too so they're not just at home.

I wasn't too impressed with agencies either so used childcare.co. uk and went through loads of CVs and interviewed 3/4. Nanny stood out easily.

Good luck!

I would definitely vote for nanny. Nursery will not take children when they are ill, and they will often be ill because of the many bugs being shared at nursery. Even though DS's nursery was lovely, the illness thing meant that it was a bit of a nightmare for a working mum. Many children also don't get enough rest/sleep at nursery so you could find yourself with an overtired child on your hands from 3.30pm - means you don't really get much quality time together because they have had all the fun at nursery. A nanny can provide your child will more individual care and more attention to their natural up and down times. I used an excellent nursery for one child and an excellent childminder for the second, and I thought the latter option was much more appropriate for a baby or pre-school age child.

Yes kavv you've hit the nail on the head. I felt weirdly more uneasy about leaving DS with a nanny while he's so little and can't tell us if there are any issues - even though nannies are meant to be the preferred option while they're small. Nursery feels like a safer environment.

I put ds into nursery at 6 months. He did really well and in the long run it helped that by the time separation anxiety kicked in at 9 months we had no trouble at all as he was already so settled.

I would have no concerns at all about using a nursery I was happy with.

Enjoy toilet breaks and lunch in peace

I went for nursery for exactly the reasons kavv lists.

The sickness thing is a bit of a silly argument as it will happen at one stage or another, whether it's when they go to school or nursery.

Thiis quite interesting because I sort of agree with everyone, but my gut is still telling me nursery, for the reasons that kavv and nottheOP set out. If the perfect nanny presented herself I would have felt better about it but I was really disheartened by the candidates I saw and I think it made me second-guess the whole idea.

nottheop The immune system of a 4-almost-5 year old tends to be more developed than that of a 6 month old though. Or that has been my experience.

A lot of people I know have been shocked by how often their children are sent home/can't go to nursery because of 'minor' ailments.

I did nanny with first and nursery with second. Second child was just shy of 8 months when we started at nursery. Both have their pluses but nursery edged it because of what kavv said - safety, safeguarding and accountability is really important to me when they are so little. I knew lots of people who had put their DCs in that nursery, it has a really good reputation and low staff turnover. He really loves it and knows all the staff.

The childminder option wasn't for me, especially at 6 months - it seemed to have all the worst parts of a nursery (group care etc) with none of the oversight. Here, one childcarer can look after up to 4 kids, with up to 2 under 2. There is no way I'd put DS in that kind of environment. I would never be able to look after 4 under 5 including one baby by myself, I can't believe it's allowed.

There's no reason why you won't get excellent care at a good nursery. My kids all went from a similar age and all had a great experience.

My ds really loves his nursery and the other children. I know nannies go to playgroups and stuff but my ds adores company. He's our first and there's no sibling following immediately so if he wants other kids nursery is good. He went at 6mo and is now 18mo and as I say really loves it. I did pick one with small rooms though - max 6 children in a room, more usually 4 - so not some huge classroom environment.

Whilst your child is more likely to pick up bugs at nursery, you won't have to worry about the caregiver getting ill & taking time off at short notice so I think that that is as broad as it is long.
Have you met any nannies or just dismissed their CVs? If the latter, what is it about their CVs which is putting you off?

I think you have to go with what feels right for you. You do get a gut feeling which is the one that best fits your family.

My experience was having a nanny for my two when I went back to work when they were 1, who was lovely. Stayed as an after school nanny when they were in their first years of school also. No worries about her watching MTV, as she loved her job and genuinely enjoyed looking after children and was patient, kind and loving to them. So it really is dependent on finding a good nanny, like all jobs sifting the wheat from the chaff.

What I liked was being able to leave for work,without the rush of getting them out of the door according to my timetable and they could still be in pjs when nanny arrived. Also good if they were sick. More flexibility on hours than a nursery. Feeling the only difference to their day was me not being there, but they got to be at home and sleep in their own cot, play with their own toys, go to the park or play in the garden as they would if I had been there. I liked the fact they had this personal care with lots of 1:1 time.

For a baby the most important thing is lots of cuddles and attention, not as you have realised developmental play opportunities as that comes naturally with good care. I feel the same person to comfort them is important and they should bond with this person. Nursery for me felt a bit regimented with all the rows of cots for naps, nappy changing time and the babies having to work into the routine of nursery. But friends who chose nursery have found their dc adapted well after a few weeks.Nurseries do allocate key workers to your child, but they are not always the one with your child.

Nursery is good for lots of opportunity for messy play and interaction with other children when they are older. Mine have both gone to nursery as well, but when a bit older - 2 1/2 to 3.They do pick up more bugs at nursery,so you or your partner need to figure in taking time off work for this.

By school age you cannot tell which children have a SAHM, went to nursery or had a nanny, so in the long run it is alot of angst we put ourselves through which doesn't seem a long term issue.

Whilst your child is more likely to pick up bugs at nursery, you won't have to worry about the caregiver getting ill & taking time off at short notice so I think that that is as broad as it is long.

Yes, nannies tend to be exposed to a lot of bugs at all those playgroups and your employer tends to be a lot more sympathetic to a child being ill than to a nanny being ill. bitter experience

Have dismissed their CVs. I don't think I'm being too picky! Brief to agency: ^someone with nannying/babysitting experience, e.g. one on one care, not just working in a childcare centre or as a childminder or looking after their own children, smart & responsible, doesn't have to be a career nanny, perhaps someone fitting part-time nannying around university studies - in fact this would be my preference as someone who will engage with him, e.g. talk and read to him is very important"

Agency: sends someone who lists their experience as 15 years of being a supermarket check-out operator plus 3 of their own children.

Nanny at 6 months. Important one to one bonding. Home environment is a plus. Nursery is fine but for a little older... Just my thoughts ??

I think CM is the best bits of all the options. Through my work now, I visit a LOT of Nurseries, and it's very, very rare to visit a baby room that doesn't depress me / make me want to ban the very idea of them.
I love the fact that CMs have a home environment but get out and about every day, and the children experience all the things they could do if you were at home with them yourself.
I don't have any experience of Nannies, so wouldn't like to comment.

However, as other folk have said, this decision is very personal and not necessarily logical - your 'gut feeling' plays a good part.