preferring nursery over a nanny - would you?

[Gennz]

So as things have transpired I am going back to work when DS is bang on 6 months. It wasn't the plan but I have been offered a really good, well-paid, part-time, flexible job - rare as hen's teeth! (I'm an in-house lawyer in a niche-ish area).

So I've been going round in circles deciding what childcare to put in place for DS. I'll need care for 3 days a week, 8.30ish to 3.30ish.

I thought initially we'd get a nanny while he is so little, but after contacting a couple of agencies and getting loads of CVs sent through I've decided to put him into a nursery.

The nursery is really good, no qualms about that at all, great staff ratios, lovely building etc and is only a 5 min drive from my new work (as opposed to home which is about a 15 - 20 min drive if I neede t get to him quickly), but I've always thought of a nanny as the best option for a baby, so I'm quite surprised at myself for making this choice. Perhaps I had unrealistic expectations of the nanny candidates (I was envisaging Scarlett Johannssen from The Nanny Diaries not unreasonable at all) or perhaps the agencies were just a bit shit, but I just felt like I couldn't leave my PFB with someone unsupervised, with no high school qualifications who might just park him on the couch infront of MTV all day. (Says the woman mumsnetting while her child rolls around on the playmat). At least at the nursery he'll be in an environment that's independently assessed/monitored with developmental play opportunities etc (not so much an issue now obv, but as he gets a bit bigger). But then I think maybe definitely I'm being a bit snobbish, and also probably it's that I just want to be the only one spending one on one time with him in my own home! I remember reading in that book about French parents "Bringing Up Bebe" that this was one of the reasons French mothers preferred creches.

Long-winded way of asking what would you do, assuming cost wasn't the determining factor?

I used both a nanny and a nursery before DS was one. DS was far, far happier at nursery and I was more comfortable too.

If you can't find a nanny who is the exact right fit, and there is a nursery you like and trust, the nursery wins hands down each time for me. Even easier decision as it's 3 shorter days.

Uhm sorry to go against the tide. But a nanny just seems odd to me. I don't know anyone that has one. Maybe it's because I am not in London. My Lo went to a childminder from 9months - it seemed the best of both worlds - social interaction, especially with older children but I knew who be caring for him.
But if I had to choose between a nanny and a nursery then nursery definately.

Thanks for the offer Kiwi but I am in Auckland. Did you use an agency? The new job hours are 9 - 3pm, so I will be leaving on the dot to pick him up from the nursery which is a 5 min drive away, it's part of the reason I took the job (the hours, not the nursery - was previously in a very full on job with no flexibility) - and they know this. They also have a very established flexible work policy which my old work was quite old-school about. Getting there in the afternoon I'm not so worried about, it's bundling him out the door in the morning I'm not looking forward to, especially in winter.

I'm definitely still open to a nanny in the future but I guess I shouldn't be that surprised that the kind of candidate I had in mind isn't exactly falling out of the sky.

Jassy I know I've said this before but I really love your name!

We registered with 3 agencies.
To be honest, I think your pt days/ times might be putting off the professional nannies, who might be looking for ft positions.

I've used a nursery too (at one point the nanny was doing the nursery runs lol) and we've had two good nannies. We had a lot of good potential candidates though - narrowed it down and did six first interviews and then two second interviews where they met the kids and did a bit of time with them.

We went for a nanny largely because our tiniest has been disabled from birth, and we needed someone who was also able to go to physio/ SLT/ OT routine appointments if we were unable to, and also to implement therapies during the day. But we also used the nursery for socialization etc.

I couldn't afford a decent ft nanny myself. In both cases work covered her pay, so we were able to opt for the gold-plated solution

There are plenty of great nannies out there, but not many of them are looking for a few short days.

I picked nursery. Choosing the one person felt too difficult. Not only making sure they are not dodgy in any way but also that their partner is ok, that they make good choices in people to associate with etc. as we know abuse tends to happen by people known to the child and a childminder for me left too many variables that I felt uncomfortable with. I am not saying abuse does not happen in nurserys, sadly it does, but I felt safer choosing the best nursery I could.

I had same experience. In the end I just felt safer leaving my DC with a group of strangers rather than just one stranger. 1:1 with someone I don't know creeps me out.

And now I'm glad as feel like they've both got so much out of their nursery. They love it.

I went for nursery. Guaranteed care even if one worker was sick etc, other adults around to keep carers accountable even if having a bad day, environment all safe for kids, unlike my house, and slightly cheaper.

And found a small local nursery where the manager had her own baby in it, and looking through the window and walking past the garden always showed children looking well cared for. Also babies seem fascinated by others and I wanted mine to get as much help with social skills as possible, as that's not my strong point. A good small nursery is great.

I think whatever choice you make should be what sits most comfortably with you, as you don't want to be doubting your choices. I can see the appeal of a nursery, I've met a few nannies at various groups we do some are great and others imho are a bit lazy, out of the 8-10 we've met I'd only employ one. Sure there are great nannies out there but in my experience they aren't all Mary poppins etc!

I had to complete my last pgce placement when DD was 4 months old. She was in nursery between bang on four months and six and a half months. They were fantastic- obviously really cared about her and because there were at least 5 staff At nursery each day she always had lots of structured activities, time outside and all the stuff you are supposed to do with them each day (tummy time etc) was all built into her schedule.

I couldn't recommend them highly enough. :)

Hi OP - I was similar to you - went back to work part time when DS was 4 months old and preferred a nanny. I just couldn't find anyone I clicked with. I think working part time meant my "pick" of candidates was very limited - I'm sure that is why you are not getting great candidates.

The first nursery I visited I left in tears because it seemed so depressing. But the minute I walked into the second nursery everything clicked - the staff were just lovely and I was (and still am) very happy that we chose it for DS.

Aw, thanks Gennz.

We had the same debate 16 years ago and went with the nursery. DD is now independent, sociable, healthy and generally doing very well. I'm sure some of that is to do with the excellent nursery & pre school.

Go with your gut feeling. If you think a nursery will be better for your child then stick with the nursery. I decided to opt for a childminder when I returned to work. I visited several nurseries and loved a couple of them but wasn't 100% sure it was the right choice for my LO. I then met a childminder through a local play centre who was recommended by several parents. After several settling in sessions I just felt instinctively she was the right fit for us and that has turned out to be the case.

Anyway, there is no universal 'right' choice IMO, there is just a choice that is right for YOUR child.

I found agencies to be a waste of time when looking for a nanny.

I found it better to do an advert myself, then sift through the loads of applicants that way.

I think it depends a bit on the child - from quite little mine has been really confident and sociable, loved meeting other children and adults, was always keen to dive into new toys, loved group singing etc. So for him I think he'll love the busier environment of nursery. However if he'd been a quiet, shy, easily scared child it might have been different.
I think it would also have been different if I was looking at full time childcare as I do find the idea of him being in one room all day every day a bit odd (sounds like your nursery isn't like that though, and neither is the one mine is going to).
I visited four nurseries altogether, and I didn't think I was a fussy person but three of them I really wasn't keen on, for various different reasons. The fourth I really liked and that's where he's going.

PS I also think that academic qualifications are not the most important thing for childcare, so I think if recruiting a nanny I think it would be more important to meet them and look up references than read their CVs.

In various work environments I have met many extremely reliable wonderfully caring people who have done poorly academically but who I would totally trust with a baby. I also know many highly academic people who wouldn't know where to start with changing a nappy. To me it would be more important that the nanny was reliable and caring, especially if it's part time.

Also, in my experience of helping people with CVs and applications many people are very poor at presenting themselves in a positive light so the CVs might not be a very good reflection of their actual skills.