you know you're a mum when...

[Misty9]

...A deep aversion to vomit is overtaken by the urge to comfort your baby and stop them waking the older sibling

I even managed to not gag

You've caught poo in your bare hands to try to protect the soft furnishings

The baby vomits/poos on your clothes and you don't dash off to get changed instead you just give it a half hearted rub with a wipe.

You are prepared to pick and scrape snot of furniture with your fingernails because you know from experience that toddler snot will not shift with any cleaning products.

When one shines a torch up the bottom to check for worms

When you've been commended in your containment of vomit.
When you can't remember if the bathroom door actually shuts.
When you can't remember what a lie-in feels like.
When you're used to your heart walking around outside your body.
When you're bone aching weary but still wouldn't change it for anything.
When you understand what others mean when they warn you it goes by all too quickly.

You find yourself laying on the floor next to your toddlers cot as she was really upset at bedtime and you don't care because you are lieing down!

Could you see any bedsheets ?!

When 6.30 is a lie in
When you think it's normal to intersperse any phone conversation with responses to your kids questions

you go out with toddler height snot trails on your leggings. even when they are not with you

your handbag contains random toys, half eaten snacks, snotty tissues, an assortment of treasures from the park and a million hair clips/bobbles.

you go shopping for yourself and come back with things for children.

you can sing along to the entire frozen soundtrack word for word but fail to recognise any music on the radio.

your diary is filled parks, soft play, school notices and family fun days.

Nope I think we are clear lol

You start singing the stupid Vtec toy songs to yourself

You know the characters and toy variations from a certain cartoon or kid's film then forget that other people don't know what you're actually talking about when it comes to birthday presents! (that's me anyway, ha!)

Someone asked for a pen and I could only offer a tiny green crayon.

Instead of choosing from clean clothes, I had to decide between wearing toddler wee or baby wee on the only 2 pairs of trousers that fit.

You open the door to the post man with vomit down your neck and one heavy milk laden boob out of its cup, swinging pendulously, considerably lower than its partnering enclosed boob, beneath your husbands t-shirt.

You don't mind kissing someone whose face is covered in food, dribble and snot just because you love them so much

Your sister pops round to find you engrossed in Ben and Holly. Even though baby is having a nap. Nanny Plum was being reckless with magic again ... I wonder what could go wrong?

You work out if getting up yet is allowed by whether or not cbeebies has started yet.

Yo put your hand in the pocket of a coat not worn for a bit and find that long lost puzzle bit.

You go in your bag to find your purse has been carefully emptied of anything remotely useful.

When your baby sneezes in your face covering you in a spray of snot and you smile adoringly at her and say "bless you !" before then wiping it off.

When you eat what falls out of your baby's mouth....after looking on in horror when seeing this happen pre-kids

You pass another human being out of your vagina