Feel like crap for shouting at dd1 on the way to school today

[berrycherry]

In the car my dd's started to argue over something really trivial, dd1 started crying and whining, and I just completely blew my top, and shouted at her . I eventually calmed down and when I parked I gave her the biggest hug, said sorry, told her I love her and that I was wrong to shout. she is only 6 fgs, and I am now sitting here in tears feeling really dreadful. my dh said to just forget about it, as she probably has, but I can't shake off this bad feeling.

You apologised and she was Ok. You're being too hard on yourself imo. I hate my children arguing when I drive as I can't concentrate and I have shouted. I then explain calmly why I don't like fighting when I'm driving. They still fight though the next time

I can't wait to pick them up, I think they were quite shocked, and now I have a real sick feeling in my stomach. Its just not good on their first day back at school after a lovley half term with them.

Well it wasn't great and you saw that you felt as bad afterwards as they did, so I think just clock it up to experience and think how you could react differently when a similar annoying situaton arises. Driving in the morning is stressful enough really, it's easy to lose your temper. In retrospect, could you have dealt with it differently?

Really really don't beat yourself up - it's happened, you've apologised, end of story. Sometimes, I think it doesn't do kids any harm to realise sometimes that Mums have a limit as to how much crap they can absorb on a day to day basis (actually, husbands could do with realising that too). Obviously, I'm not advocating bawling them out regularly but it sounds very much as if you're a very good Mum who was pushed too far by them this morning. Concentrate on the fabulous half term rather than the 30 second shout-fest

oh berrycherry, the times that i had an awful day because one of the children have gone to school upset over something. I promise you they didn't have a horrible day, only me. Everthing was forgotten once they were at school with their friends.

Don't give yourself a hard time.x

thanks for all the positive comments...unfortuntely it wasn't 30 seconds, it was nearer 3 minutes

it was a stressful morning, my dh did nothing to help get dd's ready, apart from brush dd1's hair so I am not best pleased with him...on the days I don't work, he never seems to lift a finger to help, which does add to my stress levels!

also maybe I should of prepared all clothes, pe kit etc the night before.... lesson learnt!

But you're feeling bad about it and are resolving to do things differently; that shows how good a mum you are. A bad mum would have forgotten all about it once she'd dropped them off. Just give them a big kiss and say how pleased you are to see them. I really wouldn;t bring up this morning again unless they do.

good advice zog, Thats how I will try to play it...thanks very much

I don't drive, so me and kids have a 20 minute walk to school. I have done this walk many a time having a slanging match with my girl aged 10. What starts off as a good opportunity to have a discussion about something quickly becomes a row as she has such a tendency to get all arsey and emotional. I know what you mean though, you go away feeling like shite. I've sometimes been so cross with her that I've just bundled her into the gate, not kissed her and told her I love her, like I always do, and then gone home feeling wretched for the rest of the day. Also ds aged 6 can be such a little git when he comes out of school, tired and crabby and being horrible, my patience quicky runs out, so I've done the walk in the other direction roaring at one of my offspring. I'm used to the dissaproving looks now.

just thought I would say that my dd's were lovely when I picked them up from school, even when I explained to dd2 that she had to go to the doctors for an injection. when we got to the car, dd1 stated crying again because I had promised dd2 £1.00 if she was good (bribe for having injection), and that dd1 would get 50p for being a brave big sister. dd1 whined and whinged and told me in no uncertain terms that it "just wasn't fair". I bit my tongue, remebered how I had felt all day, and just ignored her complaining. being a mum can be a challenge!!

We've all been there, try not to beatyourself upover it. I do find geing things ready the night before, laying out clothes, checking book bags setting the table for breakfastetc makes the morning go more smoothly so I'm not frazzled when we get in the car.

you really think you shouted at her for 3 minutes???

sit there and time 3 minutes out .. go on I challenge you

I'll warrant it was probably much closer to 10 or 20 seconds

children who whinge deserve all they get IMO

That is one of the hardest things to deal with, when they accuse you of being not fair. I have 2 dc quite close in age and I have to be so carefull , the older they get the worse it is with the fairness accusations.